Wife going to see Dreamboys

[Anothersatellite]

I know, I know, the boys are at the mild end of things. So when my wife told me she had accepted an invitation to go to a major city theatre to see them in all their business, I was blindsided, and I didn't know why. A few days later and I still didn't. Was it insecurity? Don't think so but open to that idea. Jealous. Ditto. It's the strangest brew of feelings that I can't nail down. One day it's I couldn't give a damn. The next day, over my dead body. She's not that keen herself, more looking forward to dinner/shopping/cocktails with friends before the Henboys bearpit of severalhundredwomenbehavingbaďly. This is way short of a dealbreaker. I have never felt the need to hand out my permission for anything, but then again she goes to see Motown tributes/dinner/shopping with friends, so this has no precedent in our 11 years together.
What I'd like, is advice on what to say to her when she gets picked up by car from our home on the day. I don't want to say anything remotely snarky, or make her feel like she's going to be dragging a ball and chain around. I'm not going to be at home slamming doors and being an arse. I love her and I've never wanted to issue ultimatums. I am not that man.

Loads

As a cop, we got called to a disturbance/fight at a local social club
When we got there, there were loads of women (all ages from late teens to early 80's) in and around the car park area, the fight was between a group of women and the injured girl was being treat by off duty women paramedics/nurses etc There were women teachers there telling us the names of the people who had ran off as they used to teach them, solicitors offering their advice etc etc

Turned out they had been to a male stripper show at the social club

On trying to get some CCTV for the fight in the car park, we got talking to the club steward in the office.

He said that they have these male stripper nights about 2-3 times a year as its a money spinner for the club. The tickets sell out like hot cakes and the bar takes about 10 times more money than usual. He went onto explain that anything goes during the show. When he has to change the barrels on the bar or there is problem with the till etc - he walks in a sees all sorts of things. The male strippers go fully naked are fully aroused and he has seen all sorts of 'sexual acts' being carried out with willing members of the audience.

So it does happen in the UK - may be not the 'Dreamboys' - but they are groups that do it

I've seen a male stripper and I never felt nothing but embarrassment. I didn't feel aroused at all or anything . I think it can be a different experience for women.

@Felix125 yeah we got past that point and it’s been explained that in the uk full frontal nudity is now allowed by male strippers as females
Even though thats certainly not the case everywhere

at the end of the day make strippers and female strippers are not even close to the same thing in the world we live in where a huge power imbalance exists
I’m sure you’d be aware that the vast amount of sexual assaults and harrasment is directed from men towards women - not even getting into the domestic murders
there’s the power imbalance between men and women in society and this spills over into many arenas
male strip shows are mainly harmless fun not some sinister work up to a rape or use of a sex worker . Women are usually In Groups having a laugh , not sitting there salivating then trying to pay the men for ‘ tricks ‘ backstage or worse

Exactly the same . It’s not exciting at all . I know many women who’ve expressed the same . Yet I don’t know many men who arnt excited to see a female stripper in front of them

I think exactly this - each to their own

Some women will like this sort of thing and get 'aroused' by it
Some men will feel the same about female strippers

The vast majority of a population (both male & female) probably wouldn't like it and hence wouldn't go to see it.

But if a smaller minority of people want to see it and you have people happy to do it - then why not

As a male - I wouldn't be excited in front of a female stripper. i would feel awkward, embarrassed etc - not nice feelings

But some men would be ugly excited by it. I think the vast majority of men would be the same as me though

It will be the same for women - the vast majority will not like it at all - but some will.

A long time ago I dated the stage manager of 'The Chippendales' when they first came to the UK & did a residency in London before touring.
They were a group of beefed-up blokes that danced around the stage. It was just a show, a performance, like 'The Full Monty' but with Texan accents.
They'd have women on stage who spent the time giggling & looking embarrassed - not in anyway comparable to stuffing dollars in the waistband or having a lap dance.

I got to know some of the dancers. They were there because they wanted to be, they could travel to different places & get paid for it! I didn't see any exploitation.

However, this was over 30 years ago (1990/1991).
I've never seen the 'Dream Boys' so I don't know if they're more risqué or if they are being coerced into working.

(And before you ask, the stage manager worked for the theatre not the troupe & I met him in the pub after seeing the show!)

I highly doubt she is going to be turned on by it all. It is more of a female bonding hilarious thing, in my experience. And if she does happen to fleetingly appreciated the smooth oiled up bods, so what? Everyone appreciates an attractive person from time to time, it doesnt mean anything She loves YOU (I assume).

Such events are totally different from lapdance clubs which are definitely there to turn on the men, they are about sex, not entertainment (yes I've been in them). It is more akin to a certain brand of bawdy and funny burlesque show-- sex is an element but in a Carry-On, funny type of way. Everyone laughing their heads off and whooping with their mates.

Anyway, just wish her a nice time and leave it with that. It really is a non-thing in the scope of your relationship, or at least it should be. If she starts following the Dreamboys tour around, maybe look at it again!

Whatsosowhat
male strip shows are mainly harmless fun not some sinister work up to a rape or use of a sex worker . Women are usually In Groups having a laugh , not sitting there salivating then trying to pay the men for ‘ tricks ‘ backstage or worse

I don't think that's the case and that you can subjectively put women & men into two different groups.

Yes - I am well aware that the vast majority of sexual & violent crime towards women is perpetrated by men. But rape and sexual assault usually is a crime of violence & oppression as apposed to being motivated by sex.

I don't think its a case that female strip shows are only watched by groups of salivating sex obsessed men. Yes you will get some who fall into that category - but you will also have females watching males strip shows for the same reasons.

You can argue just the same that female strip shows are just harmless fun for a groups of men to watch.

Like i said before, the social club that put these male strip shows on are inundated by women wanting to watch them - but other types of entertainment the club puts on (singers, comedians) never get the same response. If its just a bonding session and a night out - why aren't they more popular? But, put a naked man in the room and it sells out.

Like i say - each to their own. The vast majority of people will be like you and me and avoid going to see such things. But you will have people (both male & female) who enjoy it for a variety of reasons. And people (both male & female) who enjoy performing it.

i have to say that I think you may be the exception rather than in the majority of men in not liking strip shows
the mere numbers of female strip venues compared to male suggests that there are MANY MANY more men interested than a minority
there are strip shows with women stripping everywhere yet this is simply not the case for
male strIp shows
men are definately much more interested than women and find these shows way more titillating

Men and women are definately two different groups when it comes to the interest in strip shows

Just a cheery ‘give my love to the boys’ with a wave?

Its all anecdotal i know - but, where we are we had a female strip club lap dancing bar in the centre of town which was open on a Friday & Saturday nights. It lasted for about 6 months and then shut due to it not being popular. Now, you could have just used it as 'another bar' to have a drink in as there was no admission fees. But it was just not popular and shut. We now don't have any such bars in our town or the neighbouring towns. So why would people being avoiding it? Especially 'lads on a drunken night out'

When I went out drinking with mates, we would not go to it - even as a 'one-off' as we didn't feel comfortable in that type of venue and preferred other bars

The social club that I mentioned before don't do female strip shows (I did ask the steward at the time) as they are not popular. They use to do ones ages ago, but no-one turned up to them so they got binned. Its far more lucrative for them to have male strippers. They do this about 3 times a year and i can imagine other social clubs do the same.

But i think its a case that some 'people' will find that kind of thing exciting and a turn on and others won't - regardless of their gender.

The social club might be filled to the rafters, but its only a small percentage of the overall population of the town.

If you like that sort of thing - then I say go for. Its down to your own morals as to what you do when your there - but isn't that life in general. You either trust your partner or you don't.

I went a 'ladies night' once and it was honestly vile. My DH just said have a good night but the next day I felt guilty as the guys were coming off stage and grabbing women and I was one. Thankfully I didn't have to get on stage but I felt so bad

@Felix125

yrs agree that it’s up to peoples individual morals etc but if you don’t agree that in general it appeals much much more to many men how do you explain huge numbers more of female strip clubs ?

I don't think they are many female strip clubs now

I think a lot are now shows that use venues such social clubs rather than having a set club. Or hire themselves out to hen parties & birthday parties etc

I can't think of an equivalent female version of the Chippendales or Dreamboys for example

There are districts where there are venues on every corner that have pink neon signs girl girls girls
a quick search online if any major city will bring up loads of strip venues and they are almost always women stripping

just a quick search strip clubs london and straight always list after list of ‘ gentlemens clubs’

Well lots of women wouldn’t be happy with their partners going to watch a stripper. I wouldn’t. Not because I want to control him but because I’d think a lot less of him and I’d tell him that. Thankfully I know he would agree.

@Felix125
you single out a couple of male strip troupes and ignore literally thousands of venues dedicated to female strippers in towns and cities all over the world . Why is that ?

Personally I can't imagine anything worse.
But OP, chill out. It's just a show. Your wife will see other men's bodies. It's just a job to them. Nothing is going to happen.
She'll have a laugh with friends and think no more of it. End of.

Actually just read bbc article

‘Since the start of the century, London's adult entertainment industry has been booming.
The number of lap-dancing clubs in the UK has doubled to more than 300 since 2004, according to Home Office figures, with nearly a quarter of these clubs in the capital.’

pretty sure it’s not men doing most of this lap dancing 😂

OP I think you have some good advice , most people agree that it’s not exciting and just a laugh but if it does bother you a lot if just try and keep communication open with her

Strip clubs and dream boys aren’t remotely the same.

there are no private dances at dream boys, there’s no actual nudity beyond suggestion and maybe a bum or two! Plus the power imbalances situation.

I mean , it's a Zombie thread so the OPs wife is already back from the den of iniquity, but I'll bite.

It was many years ago now, but I vividly remember the drunk mother of my horrified friend giving an incredibly energetic blow job to the male stripper who'd turned up at the party while the whole room watched in almost total silence.

It still haunts my dreams.