Wife going to see Dreamboys

[Anothersatellite]

I know, I know, the boys are at the mild end of things. So when my wife told me she had accepted an invitation to go to a major city theatre to see them in all their business, I was blindsided, and I didn't know why. A few days later and I still didn't. Was it insecurity? Don't think so but open to that idea. Jealous. Ditto. It's the strangest brew of feelings that I can't nail down. One day it's I couldn't give a damn. The next day, over my dead body. She's not that keen herself, more looking forward to dinner/shopping/cocktails with friends before the Henboys bearpit of severalhundredwomenbehavingbaďly. This is way short of a dealbreaker. I have never felt the need to hand out my permission for anything, but then again she goes to see Motown tributes/dinner/shopping with friends, so this has no precedent in our 11 years together.
What I'd like, is advice on what to say to her when she gets picked up by car from our home on the day. I don't want to say anything remotely snarky, or make her feel like she's going to be dragging a ball and chain around. I'm not going to be at home slamming doors and being an arse. I love her and I've never wanted to issue ultimatums. I am not that man.

I'm not - and I can only go on what I have encountered where we are.

It might be different in different parts of the country too and differs in the larger cities. But i can't ignore the fact that the social club ones where we are are really popular and essentially keep the club going - whereas the lap dancing ones have shut as they were not popular.

But I still think its a case that some 'people' will find that kind of thing exciting and a turn on and others won't - regardless of their gender.

Just say have a good day with your friends. Same as you would for anything else.

and it is definitely just about seeing friends and having a laugh. It is more like a burlesque show.

Exactly. So equally as bad?

I wouldn't go in your wife's shoes, but I find that sort of thing unbearably cringeworthy and I'm anti men going to strip clubs, and I won't allow myself those kind of double standards.

You demonstrate my point very well, the thread from OP is about his partner going to see strippers, the double standards on here from the comments is ‘wish her a good night’ mens strip clubs are seedy

my point being actually shows like dream boys are more seedy or atleast the same

i agree both are wrong but your heads in the sand thinking that it’s fine for women 😂😂😂😂

yoyr comment has nothing to do with anything, almost like a butt hurt comment that someone has an opinion you don’t agree with 😂

I completely agree until your last part

lots of tricks happen back stage with male strippers or private, believe it or not plenty of women get turned on & want more, very double standard to think otherwise, a little Google or going to these events will prove that

I’m not excited by female strip clubs I’ve been once & turned down every time after, I know plenty of men who like them & don’t like them & I know plenty of women who like them & don’t like them … you have no point here

This is exactly the point some of us are commenting both can be seedy thanks

I agree with this

I would say about 95% of the population both male & female would not go to strip shows as they find them awkward, seedy, embarrassing etc etc

But 5% of the population both male & female like seeing that kind of stuff. They will be quite open, forward, not embarrassed easily and enjoy seeing naked bodies in all their glory.

And if they like that sort of stuff - then go for it and enjoy your night out And if you can make a night of it with your mates then all the better.

And they will always be people both male and female willing to perform this kind of stuff. They are not being forced into it or exploited, they just enjoy doing it. I think its a misconception to say that all male strippers are doing it for power & control - whilst all female strippers are being exploited and are only doing it as they are desperate for money.

As the Originalpost was in April I assume the wife as already been

Your comments reflect your immaturity so I’ll make sure not lot read any more of your laughable nonsense

@Felix125

even IF dream boys were as bad as the female strip clubs why have you still got nothing to say about the fact there are over 300 pap dance clubs in london alone
you thinking a couple of mens strip shows compares to that is also laughable it’s NOT an equal 5 % of ‘em and 5 % of women goung to strip showif there were even anywhere close to the numbers of women goung to strip shows why wouldn’t there also as many male strip venues ?????
you keep avoiding this question , continuing the nonsense that the same tiny amount of men like strip shows as women ,. Do you also make this claim about Sex workers ? You believe women are equal consumers??? your avoidance of answering is an answer in itself !

Also in relation to your last paragraph can you provide us with your qualifications on gender inequality studies
what is your awareness around sex trafficking of women , explorations , work opportunity imbalances , single parent statistics etc

No surprise that Felix and unk22yr agree is there 😂

And that’s not to say all female strippers are exploited however they are far more likely to be dealing with the issues mentioned

Whatsosowhat
Sorry - I didn't realise i had to have specific qualifications on gender inequality studies in order to voice an opinion on here. What are your qualifications incidentally? I'm basing my views on 22 years service in the police dealing with sex trafficking, exploitation, managed, safeguarding etc etc. I also base my views on what people say to me and what i observe at the various incidents we go to. I talk to people a lot and find things out across our communities.

I don't know why there are 300 lap dancing clubs in London. Do you have the figures for the number of male strip shows, social club shows, hen parties, Ann Summers parties etc etc in the London area to draw a comparison? Perhaps the male strip shows tend to do better in venues such as these as apposed to specific bars - where as lap dancing bars do better as an actual venue in itself.

From our area, the only lap dancing bar shut as it was not popular - whereas the social club scene appears to be going strong. Who knows it might change again in a few years time. Our area might be ahead of the times compared to London or behind - but I can only comment on what i have seen in our region. Some of the girls on our shift have booked to go an see male strippers towards Christmas - and good for them, go and have a good night out!

Do you also make this claim about Sex workers ? You believe women are equal consumers???
This depends what you categorise as 'sex workers'. If this is crossing into prostitution - then yes, only a small number of men as a percentage of a population use them. You tend to find that you will have 'regular clients' who use them.

But if you think that all people working in the sex industry - from sex phone lines to strippers to prostitution - are doing it through exploitation & duress, then you are miles off.

@Felix125
Do you also make this claim about Sex workers ? You believe women are equal consumers???
This depends what you categorise as 'sex workers'. If this is crossing into prostitution - then yes, only a small number of men as a percentage of a population use them. You tend to find that you will have 'regular clients' who use them.

it seems you find it difficult to understand d the question . I wasn’t asking whether you think a small percentage of men are regular clients . I asked if you are claiming as many women as men use prostitutes . If that’s your claim is so absurd that I don’t believe anyone but a troll would claim it

But if you think that all people working in the sex industry - from sex phone lines to strippers to prostitution - are doing it through exploitation & duress, then you are miles off.

again , you clearly didn’t read what I wrote . I specifically said not all sex worker are exploited did I … I said specifically that women are far and away more likely to experience single parenthood , sexual harassment , sex trafficking ect
mhow convenient you ignored everything I wrote and claimed that I said something I didn’t
not interested in engaging with someone who ignore any points raised and just keeps blathering on about things that wernt said and pretending women use prostitutes es ad much as men do . It’s so absurd it’s laughable . I won’t be returning to see any more silly comments

I went to a male strip show when I was really young. I was really shocked. The guy had a huge appendage and he was slapping women's cheeks with it, and plopping in in their drinks. Thankfully I was seated in a balcony, so he didn't come near us. Women also went on to the stage and did sexual things with him. Even the grannies went wild. The Dreamboys are mild by comparison.

We went to a show with some friends as part of the hen-part. It was everything I thought it would be, a sexed-up cringe-fest. I was also asked for my number later on.
Never again.

One for the double-standards watchers on MN to take note of ...

Whatsoswhat
No - I never said more women use male prostitutes than men using women prostitutes. My argument was that as a population, only a small number of men from that population will use prostitutes - the vast majority of men never use them. And of the men who do use prostitutes, they will use them again & again becoming regular clients to a particular 'working girl'

But this really has nothing to do with strip shows and their dynamics.

Do you have the figures for the number of male strip shows, social club shows, hen parties, Ann Summers parties etc etc in the London area to draw a comparison with the number of lap dancing bars? Or are you going to ignore my question.

TortugaRumCakeQueen & RedAppleGirl
Yes - i think these are the 'social club' type ones which I mentioned earlier. The steward described the various things they do and i think a few marriage vows would have been severely broken that night!!!!

Obviously - not everyone's cup of tea, but the social club have 2-3 of these nights every year, it sells out and the bar makes a fortune. So some people enjoy that kind of show. And since the audience is 99.9% female - then I can only conclude that some females enjoy that kind of show.

what a state some people get themselves into over absolutely nothing.