Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Thisisworsethananticpated i mean, it is worth thinking about. Probably my biggest problem with my ex at this point, other than his generally being a contemptible cockwomble, is extreme resentment that he's "won" the divorce in all ways, including getting this girlfriend whom I know he is parading about and likely treating way better than he treated me (who also drives him around and does him loads of favours). It's really irritating. Maybe it's something to look out for in my interactions with this guy. I absolutely don't want to be dependent on someone - but maybe I am unconsciously trying to emulate what my ex now has in some way.

Either way,

I think it’s worth being hyper aware of it
Because your new iron sounds really nice actually

And your ex will shaft this new woman
Trust me fam !
Maybe not now but people basically don’t change
They really really don’t

And your ex is probably wanting to hurt you and will seek every opportunity

Don’t let him ! Grey rock 🪨 that bastardo

@gelatodipistacchio I agree with @Thisisworsethananticpated. Don't let your ex hurt you. Your new iron sounds lovely, so just enjoy your time with him ❤️

Random question and I’m sure it’s been asked before but if you have been going on dates with a few different people, how many dates in with someone before you chose one and cut it off with others? I’m aware this can probably really vary. I’ve got a couple of dates arranged 2 of which are 2nd dates, I haven’t previously multiple dated but due to previous poor decision making with men I want to make sure I get it right next time. I suppose the difficulty is it can be hard to know what people are really like until a few months in.

@Brightstar29 I would say 2 or 3 dates before you choose and definitely before you have sex with both of them.

If asked whether you're multi dating you should be honest. At this stage I'd say most people are multi dating.

@Brightstar29, did you send the ‘I’m stepping back’ message to Mr Facebook messenger?

@Stepcount no not in the end but I decided to step myself back anyway and weirdly after that messages increased from him and he initiated organising 2nd date but as I’ve said there are other people I’ve been talking to etc. At first I was more invested in him but since I stepped myself back a bit I’ve put more energy into others.

I hope everyone is having a great bank holiday weekend and eating their bodyweight in chocolate😊

Happy Easter dating buds !
Hope everyone’s happy , ish !?

I’m in a strange hotel in a strange part of the city and I don’t want to be here
This custody travel is fucking shit
I’m missing Balkan and ugh
And my kids are not going to like my bargain bucket hotel !!!

Brightstar29

When you start regularly shagging one ?

I can multidate and chat
But not sure if I could multi shag !

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter break! 🐣🍫🎉

Happy Easter everyone 💐🐣🐰🌷🌈 May all your eggs be Cadbury’s Creme ones xx

Happy Easter everyone. Just busy binning the Kinder ones! Arghhh

Happy Easter Sunday 💖🌞🌼🪺🍬

@Thisisworsethananticpated that sounds fair I think I’ll go by that. I guess I’m very cautious because I’ve made the wrong choices in the past. I guess over time the right choice will become clear if I take things slow.

Getting disheartened with OLD once again. Not sure what I’m doing wrong on Bumble but I’ve had quite a few matches but guys just don’t bother to reply. Out of maybe 10 matches I’ve had 2 replies and one of those was so rubbish I unmatched him straight away.
I got very little from Hinge.
I realise some guys might just have changed their mind when I message but 80% of them??

So officially I have a boyfriend now. Mr Chatter.

I'm actually in the most healthy communicative relationship I've ever been in with a man.

My anxiety is now 'doI really like him or do I like how healthy this is?'

But as I want to snog his face off I guess I like him.

Me and Ms Jam have met. All is good there and we are working on scheduling.

So glad things are going well for you, @cravingthelook ❤️

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Happy Easter dating buds ! Hope everyone’s happy , ish !?

I’m in a strange hotel in a strange part of the city and I don’t want to be here
This custody travel is fucking shit
I’m missing Balkan and ugh
And my kids are not going to like my bargain bucket hotel !!!

I admire you having to do all that to do handovers! Your kids will too (one day )

How often do they travel to see him?

Sorry to hear re. missing Balkan - I try to tell myself it's normal, it's natural, it's the process of unattaching and is what we all go through... deep breaths... you're making way for something better.

@anotherdisaster

Getting disheartened with OLD once again. Not sure what I’m doing wrong on Bumble but I’ve had quite a few matches but guys just don’t bother to reply. Out of maybe 10 matches I’ve had 2 replies and one of those was so rubbish I unmatched him straight away. I got very little from Hinge. I realise some guys might just have changed their mind when I message but 80% of them??

I've never got on with Bumble, I also never really can be arsed to initiate contact if I match with someone on there... terrible of me really!

Happy Easter, all!

@Thisisworsethananticpated oh no, that sounds dreadful. Will you have some time to have fun with your children in Italy despite the crap hotel? Or are you heading straight back?

@cravingthelook congratulations! It all sounds very positive.

My update is that yesterday, I asked MrS if he wants to meet up on Monday and he immediately said yes and that he will be back in town by early afternoon. So we will finally meet again after 3 weeks of texting! I suggested a walk and he was keen.

Something that is slightly annoying to me is that I have made all suggestions of things to do so far. He seems pretty passive. My plan is to take a 'wait and see' approach to things, as maybe this is the result of circumstance and my own impatience (I always think ahead, like to have things sorted). And this is just one item in a long list of things I want to vet for!

Happy Easter, @gelatodipistacchio ❤️

I can't be bothered to chat to anyone on the apps atm. I've had a flare up of my fibro symptoms so I've not felt much like talking.

“ I've never got on with Bumble, I also never really can be arsed to initiate contact if I match with someone on there... terrible of me really!”

I find bumble frustrating. I’ve had (only a few) matches and the woman hasn’t messaged. I can’t message so you’re left thinking “why did she bother?”

I think I’ve said before but the online dating experience is different for men vs women. You have lots of matches and chats and have to filter out the dickheads to find the normal blokes. We have pretty much silence and have to try and get a conversation going from very little interest.

@anotherdisaster

Getting disheartened with OLD once again. Not sure what I’m doing wrong on Bumble but I’ve had quite a few matches but guys just don’t bother to reply. Out of maybe 10 matches I’ve had 2 replies and one of those was so rubbish I unmatched him straight away. I got very little from Hinge. I realise some guys might just have changed their mind when I message but 80% of them??

This happens to me with Bumble too. It's quite soul destroying at times. I deleted Hinge because I was literally getting so few matches.

ibelieveinmirrorballs

I’m such a wanker I’ve been sadly walking around and journaling what makes me sad !!!!!
I know it’s for the best and time will heal