Morning everyone - hope the weather is as glorious with you all as it has been here. I've had a lovely fairly quiet Easter weekend with the DC and just enjoying the break from work.
@HowlongWillThisTakeNow how did you meet MsH again..? I recall you have very good luck meeting people off the apps which is highly admirable! Great to hear you had a good time with MsH - again quite inspiring that it's worth keeping going with something as I remembered you weren't sure after the first date 
@ButterflyOfShay I know what you mean about the bad stories but I also try to think about the good ones. My experience of OLD has certainly had its share of ups and downs but I know that overall, it's been a really positive experience because it's like learning resilience and learning how to be intimate, and how to hone/shape/articulate what it is that I want (as well as learning quite sharply what I don't want). Anything that operates in the field of relationships/intimacy is going to have us operating at our most vulnerable... add to that the fact that we're trying to do that with frankly a random bag of strangers and it's never going to be without its bumps in the road. In two years I've had dates with about 10 people. None of them have been disasters, 4 have led to sex and 3 into relationships (the final one of which is a tbc at the moment...). The first one ghosted me after we'd been together for a couple of months and I was traumatised about that - but from that experience think I also learned a lot about not falling for love bombing over-promisers!
Bottom line really I think is that although this thread (and the many others on the subject of OLD on this board) is testament to the risks, pitfalls, and absolute nightmares that we can encounter, in many ways that's dating life in general. It is risky, it can feel like we're putting our hearts on the line, and we have to trust another person with our feelings. It's hard - and I've had more than one breakup that has left me feeling like I just can't do this again. But in time I reflect and think that I also don't want to retreat into being on my own for the rest of my life. I've met some great people OLD, some real characters I never would have met ordinarily, and a couple of them are now friends.
Back to current situation... after discussion with therapist (and a bit of a knuckle-rapping from her about rushing into things) I sent Ginge something of a 'shall we dial things back and start again, or maybe just leave it?' message over the weekend. He's replied suggesting we meet for a more chaste date later this week, on a day when I absolutely would need to get the train home, and see how it goes. He also said he felt a bit weird after our last date and that he'd like to take things slowly. After not much contact last week with him away, he's now back in the land of the living and we're due to speak on the phone later this morning. So this is a new thing for me - focusing on taking things more slowly, getting sex out of the equation, and seeing whether there's anything there to build on.