Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I've found my people! My DP's have just bought a similar sofa!

@lesgalettes any word from Mr Morning?

Good luck with your iron!

@gelatodipistacchio …guys with amazing taste and who feel appearance is very important are hard work. It’s awful he got his girlfriend working for him but at least you now have a clean break and can move on. I also admire the fact that you can date a guy that is the exact opposite. My ex was very fastidious about his appearance and he’s very easy on the eye. I find it difficult to date now anyone as no one is as elegant as he was…but it’s a matter of time. I don’t feel like working on any guy though, in any aspect. I’ve become a bit lazy about doing much effort 🙄. I still don’t know what makes me tick but I don’t want to date this type of guy again.

Oooh @ibelieveinmirrorballs …the sofa is horrible. I dated a guy and he invited me over to his some time ago in one of the on and offs from my ex. This guy was very good looking and educated but when I went to his flat for coffee my heart sank. There was “decorative” tat everywhere. Pics of the daughters everywhere like in altars or something and he had yellow sateen pillows in his bed. It was so ghastly I realised I didn’t have a chance. He was super proud of his grotto decoration style too. It really put me off totally. Sorry to look superficial!

I think that he at least needs to go somewhere other than one budget suburban sofa shop.
oh dear, Oak Furniture Land is where I shop, my taste in design must be suburban & budget 😂😂😂

Mental note, get rid of the yellow satin pillows.

I’m not really sure yet, TBH it’s clear that she doesn’t really have the time to date, but I like her, and (hopefully), when her DD goes to Uni, Ms H will have less calls on her free time

Interesting the chat about sofas!

My ex was very into interior design, spent ages choosing sofas. As I don’t want to live with a guy again in the foreseeable future, I don’t care what sofas they have, as long as they’re comfy for snuggling on! Guys having a clean place is more important to me. Not super clean, but clean enough that I don’t feel at risk of catching some disease while I’m there.

That's good to hear.. I'm on the right track.. I like a clean place, worktops, table and bedding.. not much in the way of colour coordination! Magnolia and grey is a man's best friend..😉

Now we’re talking
www.designersofas4u.co.uk/chesterfield-2-seater-antique-tan

@Daydreamscometrue A couple of very short messages this morning and then nothing! We are meant to be having first date tomorrow. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I texted him to ask if he is still on for meeting tomorrow. That was hours ago and he hasn't replied. I won't message him again now but the waiting is horrible!

thank you very much for the birthday wishes, @gelatodipistacchio and @Thisisworsethananticpated 🙂

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I really think you and Miss H need to have a talk about where you are going from here. It sounds like things have been full on with her shifts at work, so I think if you want to still see each other you need to put more of a plan in place so that you’ve got some grounding going, if that makes sense.

@Shunter350 I probably wouldn’t have replied to your comment about the blurred photo either. I understand why you made the comment and I’m not saying you were wrong to write it in the way that you did, but if I as a woman read something like that from a man I would think that it sounded a bit like you were just going straight in and picking at my photo rather than wanting to know about me. I understand completely what you meant though.

@Shunter350 wishing you good luck too! 😃

Thank you. Yes., I blundered in with the photo thing.. but she's replied. I'll tread carefully... messaging is one dimensional!

@SortingItOut , I’m okay ,thank you for picking up on what I said. will outline a few things which I am juggling with atm with life but I will do it over on the OLD grads thread.

My teeth are small and not very white. I look after them very well, they are completely healthy and dentist has confirmed that they cannot be whitened. I cannot afford caps. It's naive to pretend that appearance is not important, but if someone looks after themself would you judge them based on something they had no control over?

Oh god it’s like buses. Have accidentally ended up with 3 dates this weekend- tonight, tomorrow and Monday. 2x date number 2, 1 date zero that I would have said no to coz tired but I really like him- it’s an IRL friend of a friend that has appeared. Then need to pick one probably but that feels scary 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ Can’t stress enough how this isn’t how I usually roll…

@WeWantTheFinestWines. No.. what I mean is badly kept teeth, smokers teeth ( sorry for the broad brush ) .. they all give me the ick..

How can you tell though? So many profiles mention good teeth and I feel like I can never swipe right. It's like when people say you have to be slim. I'm quite slim but that attitude puts me right off. Why say it? Just don't swipe right on people you don't like the look off.

Having said all that, I realise that you never said it was in your profile, just that it puts you off. So that's fair enough, we all have things that give us the ick in profiles. Sorry if I've misrepresented your views Shunter I think it hit a sore spot with me and triggered a rant! 😆

Wow moopy what a strike rate! There should be a pretty good chance of one of them working out 🤞

That's great she responded! We're all so different in the way we approach these messages, and the kind of thing we want... I think the best thing about this thread is perhaps opening us up to thinking there are other reasons why someone might not respond, or how people might interpret our behaviour.

I am the same - appearance does matter - quite a lot. But on occasion I will swipe right on a profile that just intrigues me, even if there is no face pic. If they don't deliver the goods by swapping a face photo soon after matching though, I would not pursue a conversation.

The other thing that's come up so many times on here is that women get tons of matches whereas for men it's often harder. So I think there is a need for men to work harder to get a response than us women.

Have you heard anything? I don't think it bodes well that it's already a bit laborious. I have ignored such things myself in the past and soldiered on... just keep an eye open for how this interaction with him is making you feel.

Go for it @Moopyhereagain !

@ibelieveinmirrorballs No I haven't heard from him! You're right that I should ask myself how this makes me feel. I've had every emotion this week, probably because this is my first OLD experience, and he was so keen to meet all week and also quite sweet and affectionate. He's been divorced for a long time so maybe this is what he does now for fun.