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Original poster

Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

962 replies

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 09/04/2022 21:01

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OP posts:
Stepcount · 26/04/2022 20:24

@Lovemusic33 well I guess the first meeting is a test the water meet. He might not have been sure about what you thought of him and if he’s been single a while he might be out of dating practice. If you feel that you would like to see him again I would send a positive text in response to his and see what he says about sorting the next date. If that isn’t forthcoming then I’d file it under ‘ no further action required’ get back on the apps and move on.

Penguinwaddler · 26/04/2022 20:28

@lesgalettes eek good luck with your date! It's very exciting!

ButterflyOfShay · 26/04/2022 20:29

Thisisworsethananticpated · 26/04/2022 12:23

Ooh I’d never to a dinner date ! Far too long….

it’s walk and maybe a coffee for me , especially now the weathers good

to be honest with my last iron we went to sex dates which I didn’t mind as (a) didn’t cost and (b) was good sex

But that’s ended in tears

have a walk tomorrow with a 13 years younger than me man ! if he doesn’t cancel , babysitter etc etc

Eeeeek @Thisisworsethananticpated !!

you just reminded me I saw Young Hunk today just before I was going home and he said he’s looking forward to our coffee and walk next week 😍😍💘💘

Penguinwaddler · 26/04/2022 20:30

Just had a v dry text from last Friday's date so I sent a hope "all the best text!". I just don't have the energy or the self esteem atm to spend time wondering.

ButterflyOfShay · 26/04/2022 20:32

WeWantTheFinestWines · 26/04/2022 09:15

Thanks for being my IT support Shay! I don't do Apple and use Chrome already. I just don't like the site and I want the app to work again. Still managing to make bland and inane comments on here though, so all is well in the world!😊

Show quote history

Good!! Glad to hear it 😆😘💕

ButterflyOfShay · 26/04/2022 20:35

gelatodipistacchio · 26/04/2022 09:38

@ButterflyOfShay gingers crossed!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow to be honest, I lost my boner equivalent over the past several years with my abusive relationship and divorce and thought that I would never desire sex again! So it's not just men who suffer from this type of thing - though you obviously have a more visible symptom of this mental block with an actual boner (or lack thereof).

I lost my ‘boner’ too for a good couple of years after a nasty and painful breakup. Didn’t even want to chat to or meet any men at that time. All good now though with a perfect ‘boner’ for 2022 😅😅

Lollysticks12 · 26/04/2022 20:37

So just been having 2 weeks of chatting, banter and flirting, it now turns out he has no car! So disappointed 🙄

Lovemusic33 · 26/04/2022 20:49

Lollysticks12 · 26/04/2022 20:37

So just been having 2 weeks of chatting, banter and flirting, it now turns out he has no car! So disappointed 🙄

Oh no, that sucks, I don’t think I could date someone who didn’t have a car, I live pretty rurally so a car is essential, I don’t want to be anyones taxi.

Shunter350 · 26/04/2022 20:52

Lovemusic33 · 26/04/2022 20:01

I went on a first date (well not really a date, more meeting up and going for a walk), he then asked me back to his for coffee, at no point did he make a move on me, I’m kind of disappointed 🤣. I don’t usually make the first move unless it’s been a few dates and they haven’t made the first move. I’m not sure what to think, he did mention seeing me again and was making plans for next time, he has messaged me since I’ve been home but it was kind of short and sweet. I don’t want to be too full on and scare him off. How many dates do I leave it before um….making a move? Or was his move asking back for coffee? Maybe he was being shuttle and I was being thick?

God. You could have been sitting on my couch! I'm a 57 year old guy and I struggle with this "first move" thing. I'm constantly in conflict with myself, I don't want to be seen by a date as a guy "just after one thing".. I would genuinely enjoy just coffee and a blether, even though I fancy her rotten.. then she goes and I'm left kicking myself. Again..Angry

Original poster
ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 26/04/2022 20:59

Just had a bonkers encounter with a guy. We talked for a while about where we were from, what we did for a living etc.
then he started saying ‘I don’t really use this app…’ and started being quite pushy ‘respectfully’ asking for my number. I said I don’t like to give it out straightaway.

he kept on in the same vain, so I’ve unmatched. Got a bit scared for a minute, actually.

OP posts:
HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 26/04/2022 21:04

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 26/04/2022 17:41

yes, @HowlongWillThisTakeNow. I thought things were going well with Miss H? X

Show quote history

We had a great Easter date, (including some ‘boner’ action,) we left it that she was going to setup our next date ( I have setup everything so far), but nothing has been discussed, I was hoping she was going to suggest something over the upcoming BH weekend, I don’t even want her to come forward with a plan, just to say “ ohh keep xx free in your diary “, I know she has her own life / work stuff to deal with, but too not even suggest a day makes me think she have cooled off a bit…

Lovemusic33 · 26/04/2022 21:06

Shunter350 I guess it’s hard for guys to know if it’s safe to make the first move. I think because it was a first date he was probably on his best behaviour. I’m hoping the fact he kept saying ‘if you want to meet up again I could take you to ’ is a good sign. I think I just over think things when I should probably just relax.

Lollysticks12 · 26/04/2022 21:06

@Lovemusic33 I'd make a move, he's obviously interested.

The guy I chatted to says his lack of transport is temporary but I don't know, my enthusiasm has gone now , not sure whether to persevere or move on 🤔

Original poster
ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 26/04/2022 21:08

Lollysticks12 · 26/04/2022 21:06

@Lovemusic33 I'd make a move, he's obviously interested.

The guy I chatted to says his lack of transport is temporary but I don't know, my enthusiasm has gone now , not sure whether to persevere or move on 🤔

@Lollysticks12 if it’s making you uneasy at this early stage, I’d move on personally.

OP posts:
HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 26/04/2022 21:11

Lovemusic33 · 26/04/2022 20:01

I went on a first date (well not really a date, more meeting up and going for a walk), he then asked me back to his for coffee, at no point did he make a move on me, I’m kind of disappointed 🤣. I don’t usually make the first move unless it’s been a few dates and they haven’t made the first move. I’m not sure what to think, he did mention seeing me again and was making plans for next time, he has messaged me since I’ve been home but it was kind of short and sweet. I don’t want to be too full on and scare him off. How many dates do I leave it before um….making a move? Or was his move asking back for coffee? Maybe he was being shuttle and I was being thick?

Maybe he was testing the waters a bit to see if there was any kind of connection?
do you have a 2nd date lined up ?

Lovemusic33 · 26/04/2022 21:47

Yes, hopefully a 2nd date but nothing set in stone, possibly this week or next week. I am a little bit shy, especially on the first date so he was probably just being a gentleman and not wanting to scare me off.

Lollysticks12 · 26/04/2022 22:32

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers you're right, deleted and blocked 🙂

Thisisworsethananticpated · 26/04/2022 22:41

ButterflyOfShay

so yours is next week ?
whats the age diffference ?
it’s coffee and walk ! That’s a date

mine sent me a Photo , cute but thanks to my Botox he actually has more forehead lines than me 😁

Thisisworsethananticpated · 26/04/2022 22:43

Penguinwaddler

oh the post dates downer
I hope your self esteem bounces back x
anymore planned or having a break

Thisisworsethananticpated · 26/04/2022 22:45

lesgalettes

gish that’s quite a dating gap
best of luck !!!! Deserves to be a nice one

Original poster
ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 26/04/2022 23:22

Lollysticks12 · 26/04/2022 22:32

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers you're right, deleted and blocked 🙂

@Lollysticks12 👍🏻🙂

OP posts:
ButterflyOfShay · 27/04/2022 06:05

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow that is pretty rubbish of her, I’d be feeling exactly the same, you’re not wrong to be feeling miffed… do you think if she suggests something by Friday you’d still be down? She’s sounded fairly passive do you think she’s just expecting you to suggest everything? What a drag 😔

ButterflyOfShay · 27/04/2022 06:08

@Thisisworsethananticpated mine’s 13 years younger too 😅 he is so much more grown up than me though 😅 super intelligent, chilled, calm and very self assured!! Don’t be fooled by the age 🙂
yes I’m trying to tell myself it’s not a date but deep in my heart I’m mega buzzing and all loved up about it!! Especially when he said that yesterday 🥰

gelatodipistacchio · 27/04/2022 08:14

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow That is pretty poor of her. She should value your time enough to plan ahead if she wants to see you, and to give you something of a hint when that might be.

How long have you been seeing each other now?

Brightstar29 · 27/04/2022 09:06

Getting annoyed with poor behaviour and breadcrumbing with OLD. Had good conversations with 2 guys and met up with both the other week. Since then both have still messaged (initiated by them) but it’s a lot less frequent and no flow like before. I’ll just leave it with both of them but the behaviour just annoys me as both dates had a good time I’m just sick of being a back burner option. I feel like calling people out (in a dignified constructive way) on this sort of behaviour nowadays aa both said they wanted to see me again but actions say otherwise.