Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

This thread is fantastic.. speaking as a bloke ( just for clarity) is great to hear what my date maybe going through with me! If we could look on at ourselves on dates it would be cringy hilarious..!
For me it's a coffee or a wee walk.. it's strange to think that ultimately we all ( generally speaking ) the same thing.. trust, warmth, respect, affection, sexy times, cuddles and conversation.
Probably not on the first date though
Yet we put ourselves through all these awkward hoops.
However I've given up on OLD meantime.. I'll be honest my MH has definitely improved.

@Penguinwaddler I’m sure he’ll be more chatty in person. ❤️ Really excited for you 🙂

I know. I can’t understand why people do OLD if they can’t answer simple questions 😂😂🤣

@Thisisworsethananticpated omg I can totally relate to not being able mastering getting fixated/obsessed - perhaps we just generally see the best in people and therefore hope for the best! My Friday night date is texting me once a day but no suggestion of meeting up.

I'm practicing my boundary setting so if he doesn't suggest meeting up again/show any more interest once things have calmed down with him then I may message to say I enjoyed our date and getting to know him, and then I'll leave it there. Shame as he was cuuttteeee and good conversation (in person).

One person on tinder has swiftly gone into conversation about how he's "not much of a catch" and hasn't had a relationship in ages and it's like... That doesn't really do it for me.

Another one I was meant to go on a date with yesterday (but we cancelled due to work schedules) has still wanted to meet up but not pinned down a date and all the conversation seems to be about him, so I will let that one go too I think.

Isn't this just one.of those common things people put on their dating profile? I always filed it under the same as 'looking for someone to get a dog with' etc?!

Or people looking for a "travel buddy"

@Heartbeats0708 maybe. I’ve read a lot of that kind of thing on the apps recently. I just find it really cringey 😬😂😂

hope everything’s going well with your good self! ❤️

Yes, that one too 😬

@Penguinwaddler someone actually said to you that they ‘hadn’t been in a lot of relationships recently?’ Blimey. These men certainly know how to sell themselves 🙄

I know! Came off a bit "woe is me"

Indeed!

Hello all…I’m still trying to understand the lingo here as I am a newbie on mumsnet. I have to confess that on seeing my ex going away on holiday without even asking me I joined bumble. This was a preemptive move on my part as that relationship was on the last legs. So I met gentle iron for a quick wine although I was very tired. He’s nice. Straightforward and eager to have a second date. We have talked a lot on the phone and WhatsApp rightly. No silly stuff and no games. I’m seeing him next week. On paper he sounds quite sorted. Chemistry level is ok. Not completely crazy attraction as my ex, but I have learnt it might be ok to go slower and see what happens.Question: Do you have to feel head over heels crazy and super chemistry on first date??

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow what? I thought that you had a good date very recently!

yes, @HowlongWillThisTakeNow. I thought things were going well with Miss H? X

@Mila14 I don’t think so, I was undecided on first date with my first partner at first, but as got to know him and he made me laugh the chemistry built and built.

Straightforward is a great quality which is surprisingly hard to find!

@Mila14 oops by first partner I meant current partner - distracted by the kids’ Peppa Pig on telly!

😂I’m in teenagerdom now…god I did my Peppa pig in the old days!!

@Mila14 you don’t have to feel any chemistry on the first date at all. I think the first few dates should just be about getting to know each other, and seeing where it leads you ❤️

lovely to see you, @Stayingstrongish ❤️

Ok, I'm going to have my first date with my Bumble iron on Sunday! I'll call him Mr NoProfile. My first date for nearly 30 years so I'm excited and terrified at the same time.

Awww you too @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers !

@lesgalettes good luck! I love your username

I went on a first date (well not really a date, more meeting up and going for a walk), he then asked me back to his for coffee, at no point did he make a move on me, I’m kind of disappointed 🤣. I don’t usually make the first move unless it’s been a few dates and they haven’t made the first move. I’m not sure what to think, he did mention seeing me again and was making plans for next time, he has messaged me since I’ve been home but it was kind of short and sweet. I don’t want to be too full on and scare him off. How many dates do I leave it before um….making a move? Or was his move asking back for coffee? Maybe he was being shuttle and I was being thick?

@Lovemusic33 did it at any point feel like the right moment when he could have made a move if he was going to? Is this an OLD iron or someone you know already? I think I would at least give him a couple of days to see what his next move is. I think it could be seen as quite full on for him to go in for a snog - or more. Was there any physical contact?

@lesgalettes oh wow 🤩 that’s amazing! It’s perfectly natural to feel nervous, but remember you’ve got this and you’re going to have a fantastic time 🥰
sending you lots of luck ❤️

@Stayingstrongish ❤️😘🥰

I guess it was a bit awkward, we were walking so there wasn’t many opportunities really, maybe that’s why he invited me back to his? We were sat quite closely on the sofa but he didn’t make a move, maybe he was unsure, he’s been single a long time and so have i. I first met him on POF a while ago but never met up, we exchanged a few messages, I then came acorns him again through a hobby and through a FB group, we matched again on POF and he messaged me to meet up.