Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thanks all :) you've cheered me up! His replies were very dry yesterday so I've deleted his number and will just leave it. Shame as I felt we were on the same wavelength.

Absolutely right about the adrenaline and the come down from that too.

I do have another date later on.. at least it's a nice day and I can enjoy being out and about!

Hope everyone has a nice Sunday planned :)

Thanks Shay I'll try that

That's how I've always done it. My bookmarks no longer register, and after a few minutes on the thread it crashes and returns to the main page, so I never even manage to scroll to where I think I got to last time. I've fed back to MN.

I can't see what he did wrong here? You brought up the massive house worth millions, he then commented on it and you got upset that he commented on information you had volunteered? Unfortunately, these days, owning a 5-bed Victorian house in central London is akin to winning the lottery, so I would probably have made some sort of comment too.

He sounds like a good egg, so - difficult as I know it is - try not to make him a victim to your past (we all do that) and your triggers, and approach this thing in the spirit of lovely man getting to know a lovely woman in an a forward looking way, reminding yourself that he's not your ex. Don't let your past jeopardise your future - says I, having just self sabotaged and rejected a lovely man who liked me because of my own fuckedupness. Do as I say, gelato, not as I do! Have a lovely time with him.

You've done the right thing in deleting his number. That way you won't be tempted to message him. Good luck with your date today! Let us know how it goes :)

I'm inclined to agree with @WeWantTheFinestWines . I'm London based and anyone I know that lives in a five bedroom house is incredibly well off. I don't think you can read anything into his comment really.

Thank you! Yes I figured it was the sensible thing to do then he can reach out if he wants (not that I'd be interested anymore even if he did).
Date was nice today - just coffee and a walk. We had lots to talk about and I said "let me know if you'd like to do something again soon!" As we said goodbye and he seemed enthusiastic about it. Not heard from him ofc and I wasn't keen enough to message him first.

Would be Euromillions too haha…. not just the lottery … 🙊

Did it work? x

It did work, thanks, in that I can now see messages and bookmark without crashing. I would still prefer a working app though, the site is too busy and I'm lacking overview. I don't like change! 😆

Sorry if I’m telling you something you already know but you can click ‘I’m on’ at the bottom of the page and it will take you straight to your bookmarks.. saves having to search about (apols if you already do that)

Have kind of dropped off posting but have read back! Just saying hello and will try and join in more...loved @ButterflyOfShay feeling yourself in your sexy lil blazer! And everyone else's updates read and processed..
I've had a month of promiscuity including going for dinner etc with the wretched MrTeacher last weekend, but seem to have accidentally become quite attached to a very lovely man who I would never have swiped right on based on looks. Thank god for Hinge and men with engaging online openers! I've named him MrC and he's really growing on me.

Thanks to the help I've had on this thread I've actually joined Bumble and matched with 4 irons so far, only one conversation with an iron still going. The only worries I have is that he has nothing written in his profile - he is verified and has 4 photos, but nothing actually written. Is this a red flag? He is messaging me quite a lot today, although short messages.

To everyone who commented on the big Victorian house issue: THANK YOU. I didn't say anything and I am glad of it.

We met up at 1:30pm yesterday and he left here around 9:45pm today. I kind of think he was angling for an invitation to spend the night, but I can't have this disruption in the morning when I am at a new job, so I shipped him off (nicely).

We had a very, very nice time - walk/film/dinner last night, then this morning I made us breakfast and we went for a very long walk in the local forest.

Inbetween, there was some mild drama that came down to this: fooling around last night, he seemed unable to get/maintain an erection. He seems to think this was because things escalated quickly, and he won't feel at ease until we are in a more stable/reliable relationship (not that this is unstable, just that only more time together can develop it). But there was some tension and uncomfortable communication around the whole situation.

We fooled around again this evening and he headed me off even trying with him again. He was totally focused on my pleasure.

We now won't see each other much for the next month (maybe once a week, not at all some weeks unless I sort a babysitter).

@lesgalettes Personally, I don't swipe on a guy who doesn't have any sort of profile because (a) it's just not enough information for me to bother (too much effort figuring out anything at all about him) and (b) it's low effort, but if you are messaging him and he seems fine, I don't think it necessarily needs to be anything more than a yellow flag.

@Penguinwaddler Hope that you hear from your date soon! Sounds promising on the face of it?

@Thisisworsethananticpatedhope that you are feeling less flat now

So date 0 with long time intense WhatsApp iron. Like a month of a million messages a day. When will I learn that this creates a picture in my head that is not the reality! Just didn’t fancy him. He was much odder than I had assumed- I mean l like a bit odd and quirky, aging punks/indie lads etc but he was a bit too strange. He did fancy me which is at least something. Did snog him a bit just to check but no 😬 need to let him down gently today and I will miss my WhatsApp companion!

That's a shame. I had this also with a guy I was messaging with for two weeks. Just didn't fancy him at all and when he asked for a second date it was so awkward. Hope you find a way of breaking the news kindly. It's never easy.

I've done this and had no real problems. Just see how the conversation develops.

Hey @MizK lovely to see you and good for you having fun.. I want fun but can’t find anyone 😅

@gelatodipistacchio ahhh lovely update! Maybe it was just nerves for him, I remember dating someone years ago he wasn’t very self assured in himself and it did take quite a while with boner issues, but then as he grew more confident all was well. Glad you had a cute date it sounded really lovely 💗💗

Not everyone is good at thinking about things to write about themselves, if he seems enthusiastic messaging I would meet up and see if there’s any spark there 🙂

That’s gutting @Moopyhereagain 😕 good luck with the sorry no message 🙈

@MizK Great to hear you're getting out and about although Mr Teacher seems to have something that draws you back.
I hope the new, younger man will be enough to stop you going back to him.

Moopyhereagain
oh no !!!! At least he fancied you , slightly sweetens the blow
such a shame

gelatodipistacchio

interestjng re the boner situation
but you got some pleasure which is 😁

My date isn’t happening today , and not even sure if weds will as he’s gone very quiet
don't mind , in fact maybe it’s for the best

I need to get into a better mindset and have a mental health week
otherwise I’m no use to anyone