Dating Thread 227- Stepping Into Summer

[ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Penguinwaddler how was your date??

Aww @nonethewiser74 ! How long have you been dating him?

heyyy @Stayingstrongish 😁

@nonethewiser74 I agree it takes seconds to send a message so that excuse shows a lack of interest. I've just had one disappear who started off that way with the excuses of slow replies.

Morning all, I'm hating this new format on mumsnet!

How is everyone's weekend looking? It's meant to be hot tomorrow! I'm still focussing on work, weight, home but not dating. Sitting on my hands and not messaging Mr Music and its been 3 weeks since he last texted me.

Me too Eesha

I thought it was just me
can find where i was

Can’t find where I was
meant to say

ButterflyOfShay
balkan has come back to his home country for a break
I did send a ‘have a good trip ‘ message and he responded nicely

I’m leaving it be
still obsessed with him !

let’s see if I have any spark with the dates next week
IF they go ahead

Eesha
can you remind me what happened with MrM

i can’t scroll back for love nor money !

@Daydreamscometrue it was nice thanks! A few drinks, a walk then a goodnight kiss 😘

He has a busy few weeks coming up so we shall see what the communication is like... Personally, I don't have high hopes, but we will see 🤷

(I also have another first date on Sunday... 😬)

@Thisisworsethananticpated I have my fingers crossed that your dates are lovely next week 🤞

Oh, it was a set up he has that became apparent when talking. Equally with the other. I probably need to look for someone whose either not got children or at a point where he’s absolutely through with a divorce and not sharing domestic spaces with ex’s or social events. Just me..

I know hating the new format too especially the first post pinned to the top of each page 😒
@Eesha look how far you’ve come in 3 weeks, it was a painful experience but I really believe everything happens for a reason x

@Thisisworsethananticpated looking forward to hearing about your potential date zeros next week! I’m going to live vicariously through you!! 😆

@Thisisworsethananticpated We started dating in November, ended by March. Honestly we were so happy and he seemed so together. However he had a very traumatic, abusive upbringing so I was the first person he had dated in 9 years as he was taking the time to work on himself. Unfortunately he was quite unwell then issues with his daughter so we didnt see each other for 5 weeks. He then said he couldn't offer me anything more as he wasn't coping well with all the stuff in his life. I think he was a lot more fragile than he initially made out and when reality hit, he felt easier to end things than disappoint me.

I do think about him a lot and I know I deserve someone more available but how it went from blissful to nothingness really blindsided me and I don't want to do that again.

heyyy @ButterflyOfShay nice to see you all on here again!

@Eesha I can imagine that would be really hard to cope with emotionally, I feel for you. I hope you can find someone more steady.

That would be messy... 😄

Eesha

now I remember
yeah I had similar with Balkan , handling some very toxic family stuff and a bereavement
and wouldn’t handle it

but yeah it’s ever so sad isn’t it
especially as we had very good physical connection

ButterflyOfShay

im nervous to be honest
I’m nervous about

• I don’t fancy them


• they don’t fancy me and ego dent


• they cancel or I have to cancel


• stress about childcare and babysitters


• I have a shit time and then start texting Balkan like a wanker


• I have a shit time and do something silly because I’m upset


• whatsapp just everything

I thinks that’s everything ?

sorry I’m in this wierd journaling vibe

when is young hunk coffee ?

Stayingstrongish

im ever so pleased for you
I like the success stories

apart from rampant sex ones which make me jealous !!!! So stay quiet in that 🤣

Penguinwaddler

keep trucking girl ! The benefit of multidating is you don’t get so caught up in the post date text (or lack of Post date text !) as you have a ‘next ‘ mentality

@Thisisworsethananticpated thank you! Er, there may be rampant sex… but I’ll stay quiet about it on here 😊

I think the entire communication thing is such a mine field, who decides what poor communication is anyway?
if I’m out hobbying, I might not respond for hours, and if I’m teaching it might all day before I respond, does that make me a poor communicator ?

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow think most people would find not responding for hours or while working reasonable, but some people on here haven’t heard from their dates for days - which does make you think, at some point they must have had a few seconds free to reply?

I haven’t been in a date for ages (before Christmas) and haven’t been posting on here much, I’ve been single for 5 years and have been perfectly happy on my own but the last few weeks I have been feeling like there’s something missing…maybe because I turned 40 and now feel my times running out and I’m starting to look more unattractive 😬. I haven’t had much luck in the apps for the last 6 months, hardly any matches on tinder and mainly spam messages on POF, this has knocked my confidence as a couple years ago I was going on lots of dates and getting loads of messages. I have a itch that needs scratching, ideally I would like to find someone who wants a relationship but I could possibly settle with a FWB or a regular FB.

So,next weeks I have a date (we’ll kind of date) with someone I have been wanting a date with for a while, we share a interest, one that not many people share and we have similar life styles. I’m slightly nervous but also excited. Trying not to over invest or get my hopes up but feeling slightly hopeful that I get something out of it.

Is anyone else finding it harder to date as they get older? I find most men in their 40’s have small children or some kind of baggage but if I go older they seem to be boring and not very adventurous (not all but most). I am pretty active and reasonably fit but ageing 🤣