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Original poster

Sex on holiday

261 replies

44PumpLane · 07/04/2022 13:26

Sorry I appreciate the word sex is in the title, but this is more of a relationship query rather than a black and white sex query.

We are going on a family holiday, and my husband does not want to stay in a holiday inn style room( you know the type, two double beds in one room and a bathroom, and that's it).

The reason for this is that he wants to have sex on holiday, and it upsets him that I'm not bothered about this. To him its not a holiday if he can't relax and have a bit of intimacy with his wife.

The type of holiday that we are going on means that to get an apartment or villa with multiple rooms, we will either be further away and have to hire a car (though overall this will cost less money for more space), or spend literal thousands of pounds more if we want an apartment on site (Disney).

We don't have the best sex life as it is, and that's totally my fault, so to me I feel like i'd rather we be staying on site. I think the kids will prefer it and the transportation is included and therefore easier.

So what I'm really asking is, should I just suck it up and get the multiple room property so that we can have sex?

It's hard as I do think my husband puts up with a lot as my drive has completely nose dived and his hasn't, and he mostly just sucks it us while clearly being quite miserable about this particular aspect of our relationship. So maybe the fact that it's a holiday means we should make the effort, and the kids will have a good time either way really won't they.

And having a kitchen is probably a better idea too? Ugh!

Sorry...any opinions?

OP posts:
Longcovid21 · 07/04/2022 19:41

A husband wanting to have sex with his wife is now something to condemn is it? FFS.

@Collaborate are you ok hun?

NeedleNoodle3 · 07/04/2022 19:41

Could you do one week on-site and one week offsite?

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/04/2022 19:42

@WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV

Ok, I’ve been to Disney many, many times. You will be too tired to even sit up straight by the end of the day. Honestly. On site is cramped but your kids will probably love it (we hate it). If you’re going that far, and it’s sooo expensive too, then just make memories with your dc.
@WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV

The kids are going to Disney land ffs! They will be making plenty of memories. One small thing re the accommodation is not too big of an ask for one of the adults who a) is part of the family and whose needs/wants are every bit as valid as the kids and b) who along with his wife is paying out thousands for the family to be there! It’s not all about the kids and their needs/wants, everyone in a family is equal.

Daisy03 · 07/04/2022 19:43

We go to Disney frequently and it's tiring. There's plenty of time for sex at home, I'd far rather be in a Disney studio than staying offsite in an apartment, you'd be exhausted for it whichever way.

rookiemere · 07/04/2022 19:46

@WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV but play it another way.

You've spent all that money to go so far, why stay in a squeezed in hotel room when it actually costs less to stay in a spacious apartment with pool complex or about the same for your own villa.

I found Disney a bit overwhelming so I was glad to get back to our cheap as chips 2 bed apartment at Fantasy World. Some days DH and DS went on strike and refused to leave the lazy river and pool. DH and I even managed to have intimate relations quite often and still created happy family memories (obviously not at the same time). We hired a car but there were free shuttle buses from our complex or we could have got an Uber.

sunshineandshowers40 · 07/04/2022 19:47

We did Disney and stayed on site. We didn't have sex. I was so tired, it didn't really cross my mind to have sex as we were all in the same room and all went to sleep at the same time.

JulieBeds · 07/04/2022 19:49

it sounds like you've lost your identity when you had kids and they take up all your time now. it's so normal.

I'm not sure Disney is the holiday to have lots of sex or even a bit of sex. it's Disney for god's sake. I can't think of a less romantic place.

Judging by what you've written it is VERY expensive.

i wonder if you'd consider spending that sort of money on a different kind of holiday where the kids are taken care of and you can wind down with a glass of something and know you can go back to your room together without worrying about who is looking after your children for a few hours and just exist in the moment.

The thing about passion and excitement is, is that it doesn't appear during humdrum routine things like every day life.

Holidays are an opportunity to discover something new together and that can bring back a feel of excitement, adventure etc, all the things you feel when you first meet someone. Everything is new.

You just sound like you need time to yourself and to remember who you are and perhaps then the sex drive would come back. You sound disempowered at the moment, just coasting or surviving perhaps. You sound like a lovely Mum, who has put her kids first.

I hope you get some time to yourself soon. I think it's that more than anything that turns you off sex. It just feels like another thing to tick off the list of things to do.

What would make you feel genuninely sexy? What would make you feel turned on? Anything? what conditions would need to be met for you to feel like you wanted to have sex with your partner again, willingly and happily? Perhaps you haven't consciously thought about it, but maybe it's time to do it now.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 07/04/2022 19:51

I with your husband!

WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV · 07/04/2022 19:52

[quote rookiemere]@WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV but play it another way.

You've spent all that money to go so far, why stay in a squeezed in hotel room when it actually costs less to stay in a spacious apartment with pool complex or about the same for your own villa.

I found Disney a bit overwhelming so I was glad to get back to our cheap as chips 2 bed apartment at Fantasy World. Some days DH and DS went on strike and refused to leave the lazy river and pool. DH and I even managed to have intimate relations quite often and still created happy family memories (obviously not at the same time). We hired a car but there were free shuttle buses from our complex or we could have got an Uber.[/quote]
Well you can have both, can’t you. 🙂 We usually now stay at Magic Village, it’s absolutely gorgeous and teens have a room and bathroom each, huge tv room and kitchen, bbq outside and beautiful pool.. Did uber and free shuttle, and hated it compared to renting a car. I agree with lazy river, wish I had one in my own garden! 😅

Sunnytwobridges · 07/04/2022 20:07

@TomBradysLeftKneecap

Taking the sex out of it, I can’t think of a worse holiday than spending all the trip in one hotel room, sitting quietly in the dark after your kids have gone to sleep.
Was thinking the same thing. Sounds like my idea of hell. And I've actually experienced it once before, and that was the last time.
knittingaddict · 07/04/2022 20:19

@BuffyFanForever

Villa in Orlando is way better! You can have your own private pool, kitchen etc. Abit of space to hang out after the children have gone to bed. Yes hiring a car is a cost but it will cost you much much less overall for a nice little villa with pool and car hire than staying on site at Disney.
I agree. Weve done Florida twice and had a villa both times. It's lovely coming back to your own space, a pool and jacuzzi. Never crossed our minds to stay in a hotel. There is no way that I would share a room with my children for 2 weeks.
ChateauxNeufDePoop · 07/04/2022 20:28

@Benjispruce4

We had lots of holidays and short breaks with kids in the room with us. It’s not ideal but sometimes the cost of extra rooms means you just have to accept no sex. Villa hols were better but obviously more money. EuroDisney was an all in one room occasion but only 3 nights. Some men can’t think about anything else it seems, luckily DH isn’t one.
Good for you on being in a relationship where your libidos are aligned. Clearly not the case here and nothing the OP has posted has suggested her husband is a sex crazed sleaze. Quite the opposite in fact.
Original poster
44PumpLane · 07/04/2022 21:19

Thank you all for your genuine replies and taking the time to share your opinions.

I've read and digested them all! Appreciate the sounding board.

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 07/04/2022 21:22

@Daisy03

We go to Disney frequently and it's tiring. There's plenty of time for sex at home, I'd far rather be in a Disney studio than staying offsite in an apartment, you'd be exhausted for it whichever way.
@Daisy03 But op and husband are not having sex at home are they? So it’s not unreasonable for her husband to hope that may change whilst on holiday
Blossomtoes · 07/04/2022 22:59

I’m a bit 😮 at going to Disney “frequently”. Fine as a one off with small kids but the world’s a huge, beautiful place, surely once is enough with so many other amazing places to go?

StarlightLady · 08/04/2022 06:52

Personally, l would not want a sexless holiday with someone l was in a relationship with.

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/04/2022 08:26

@Daisy03
Why do you go to Disney “frequently”?!
See other parts of the world and different places! It’ll be good for you and your kids

NeedleNoodle3 · 08/04/2022 08:33

Why do you go to Disney “frequently”?!
See other parts of the world and different places! It’ll be good for you and your kids
It is possible to go to a Disney a few times and also see with the world with our DC. Some of us are very fortunate to have a large holiday budget.

WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV · 08/04/2022 08:52

[quote LuckySantangelo35]@Daisy03
Why do you go to Disney “frequently”?!
See other parts of the world and different places! It’ll be good for you and your kids[/quote]
It is possible to do both you know.

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/04/2022 09:06

If you have an infinite holiday budget then fine, but if you go there every year and nowhere else that would be a bit sad

WhydoesthesunalwaysshineonTV · 08/04/2022 09:08

@LuckySantangelo35

If you have an infinite holiday budget then fine, but if you go there every year and nowhere else that would be a bit sad
Maybe they go around the world in Epcot? 🤔😅
bluebaul · 08/04/2022 09:09

@LuckySantangelo35

If you have an infinite holiday budget then fine, but if you go there every year and nowhere else that would be a bit sad

Why would it be?

Maybe people have different ideas about what they enjoy. I have no interest in seeing 'the world' - that doesn't make me 'sad', it makes me different to someone who does want to see the world, and that is ok.

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/04/2022 09:23

@bluebaul
Why wouldn’t you want to see the world?
I’m not being judgemental, just genuinely curious as to how someone could not want to see different parts of the world, how people live in different places and cultures, etc etc. Fascinated by how someone could not be interested!

Flyinggeese1234 · 08/04/2022 09:26

@StarlightLady

Personally, l would not want a sexless holiday with someone l was in a relationship with.
Absolutely. Some replies along the lines of ‘it’s only two weeks’ are mind-boggling to me.
Simonjt · 08/04/2022 09:27

[quote LuckySantangelo35]@Daisy03
Why do you go to Disney “frequently”?!
See other parts of the world and different places! It’ll be good for you and your kids[/quote]
You can do both, we go to Disney Paris every year, even with covid in the mix my six year old son has been to Spain, Ireland, Japan and Sweden. He’ll also be going to Canada this year.

Not everyone wants to see the world, plus for many it simply isn’t affordable.

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