I've done a pretty awful thing.
DP and I have been together for four years, both mid 30s, we don't live together but I spend 95% of my time at his place since covid. A year ago he lost his dad in a short battle with cancer, they had a difficult relationship and he has been having therapy about it since as never really felt very loved by his parents who have both passed in recent years.
Generally we have a great relationship, lots of fun, love and laughter. We spent a Sunday a few weeks ago out with friends and took the Monday off work as we knew there would be lots of alcohol involved.
On our way home we had a disagreement and neither of us can remember what it was over, it was very petty but when we got in he was laughing at me during the argument, it's how he try's to get to me when we argue.
I stormed off and said 'at least my dad loves me'. I'm horrified by these words, disgusted I ever said them and immediately regretted it and hugged him while he cried saying I didn't mean it at all. We woke up the next day, discussed it and I again apologised profusely. We've spent the last few weeks carrying on as normal and it hasn't come up since.
Tonight he went for dinner with a friend and told his friend what I'd said, no surprise his friend was disgusted. He's come home and said he needs space from me and the words have cut him deeply and he doesn't know how he feels. I've gone to my house and he has said he will see me on Thursday.
I'm normally a loving, kind, caring and compassionate person and feel this was completely out of character of me. In fact he comments on how nice everyone says I am including himself.
Anything anyone can suggest for me to rectify this? I really didn't mean what I said and stupidly picked the one thing I knew would get to him.