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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband has decreed that...

625 replies

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:11

... he is far too important to carry a house key any more. This means apparently, that I am now responsible for ensuring he is not locked out the house ever. If I have the audacity to not be in when he requires to be let in, I have to ensure a key is left in a safe location and that he is informed of this. Also, if he leaves for work, often at 5/6 am, the house will remain unlocked until I drag my lazy ass out of bed to either lock the door or get up for the day.... or we get burgled! Honestly, I wish this was an april fool's....

OP posts:
Calmdown14 · 01/04/2022 11:45

Is this the same husband that wanted his wife to create a social media profile for him so the public could benefit from his brand?

If not OP you and that poster need to form some kind of support group!

Shelaydownunderthetable · 01/04/2022 11:45

WTAF. Is he high?

Get yourself to a solicitors, ASAP, and get your paperwork in order.

Flowers
countrygirl99 · 01/04/2022 11:45

Given uour last update I would he stocking ip on particularly grungy joggers to save myself the effort of kicking him out.

Raindancer411 · 01/04/2022 11:46

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend "I'm not even allowed to wear jogging pants when he is in the house, else I run the risk of him being unattracted to me and therefore off to seek someone else with nicer attire"

There is your answer, wear the joggers, let him have an affair and divorce him... 😆 Then it does mean putting him on some other poor soul.

pointythings · 01/04/2022 11:46

I'm glad that this is turning out to be the final straw. Channel that energy into lining up your ducks, maximising your finances and getting ready to hit him with divorce. No fault divorce is about to come in. This is your time.

Whitney168 · 01/04/2022 11:46

By Christ I'd be making sure I was out next time he was due back in, with my phone ringing loudly inside the house just by the front door so he could hear the futility of it - and would saunter back in wearing my worst joggers in my own sweet time.

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:47

Yup sleepymum50 that is exactly it, I'm not as important as him so I should be the one to be inconvenienced. Sorry you have a twat too!! I was hoping there was only one!! I like to have the door locked when I'm in too, feels safer.

OP posts:
speakout · 01/04/2022 11:49

Husbands like King Canute can decree all they like.
If the subjects are not biddable then he is simply barking into the wind.

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:49

@Calmdown14

Is this the same husband that wanted his wife to create a social media profile for him so the public could benefit from his brand?

If not OP you and that poster need to form some kind of support group!

Nope not me!!! Mine apparently doesnt have social media (he does he just lies) because hed rather lie to me about it than delete the woman he had an affair with... but let's not get in to that....
OP posts:
RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 01/04/2022 11:50

I love how he just decided he didnt want to carry keys anymore so because of a decision HE made, you now have to inconvenienced ...Lock him out next time and don't let him back in at all!

speakout · 01/04/2022 11:50

Wow- all that and he has had an affair.

Quite a catch you have there op...............

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:51

@gamerchick

Is he trying to do your head in or make you leave? I can't fathom out why someone would do this?

He'll have to collect a key from your work. I wouldn't pander to this shit.

Neither, he genuinely thinks he is too important to carry a key. I think also it's a bit of control, to try and get me to be in when he will be coming home....
OP posts:
Frozenlikeablockofmarble · 01/04/2022 11:51

It’s before 12pm folks.

DrSbaitso · 01/04/2022 11:51

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend

... he is far too important to carry a house key any more. This means apparently, that I am now responsible for ensuring he is not locked out the house ever. If I have the audacity to not be in when he requires to be let in, I have to ensure a key is left in a safe location and that he is informed of this. Also, if he leaves for work, often at 5/6 am, the house will remain unlocked until I drag my lazy ass out of bed to either lock the door or get up for the day.... or we get burgled! Honestly, I wish this was an april fool's....
The power he has just invested in you is amazing. Change the lock to one that automatically locks when the door closes so you don't need to get out of bed, have a spare in your handbag/with a neighbour/in a very secure secret place so you're never accidentally locked out yourself and then just carry on as normal. And reconsider the relationship because he sounds like an arsehole.
Femalewoman · 01/04/2022 11:51

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend

If I'm not in his situation will be all my fault and it will confirm the useless waste of space that I am. It has already happened, he took the kids to school and asked if I would be in when he returned, I said no and left, he hadnt sorted himself a key so rang me as he was locked out on his return and I had to come back and let him in and thus was late for work and on the shitty end of his attitude when I did come back to let him in, u til o pointed out I had told him I'd be out.... least it will be easier to throw him out when the time comes...
Why did you go back to let him in when you had already told him you would be out.

Let him take the natural consequences of his actions and learn that way. Don't baby or enable him with his poor choices. Perhaps he realised you would jump the minute he called you back @Bogiesaremyonlyfriend and he loves that?

Next time he sits and waits until you arrive home after work. His problem to sort.

daffyduckyduck · 01/04/2022 11:52

What a narcissist.

DrSbaitso · 01/04/2022 11:52

I think also it's a bit of control, to try and get me to be in when he will be coming home....

A way of locking you in without having to actually do it?

Knob. Don't play along. I couldn't stay married to a man who literally won't let me leave the house...

Femalewoman · 01/04/2022 11:52

@Frozenlikeablockofmarble

It’s before 12pm folks.
Ah, I missed that. Does that mean that alcohol is involved whilst posting?
Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:53

@speakout

Wow- all that and he has had an affair.

Quite a catch you have there op...............

Yup. And blamed it all on me. And I accepted it and tried to be better. And then he did it again.
OP posts:
Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:54

@Frozenlikeablockofmarble

It’s before 12pm folks.
I honestly wish this was an april fool's. Sadly it's just me being a fool.... for 20 years!!! And at 12 pm it wont go away and I'll still be living it.
OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 01/04/2022 11:54

Are you taking any days off in the holidays? You soooo need to take the kids away on the spur of the moment at Easter. And be oh dear, I didn’t think. It was such a lovely day. And refuse to go home.

Frozenlikeablockofmarble · 01/04/2022 11:55

12pm on 1.04.2022. I agree with PP who said this sounded like the woman with the husband on social media.

EatTheToast · 01/04/2022 11:55

Surely if he's so amazing and important he will be earning a fortune so can employ someone to man the door 24 hours a day and let him in?

Original poster
Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 01/04/2022 11:56

Sadly I dont drink. This is just the reality of my life.

OP posts:
spacehardware · 01/04/2022 11:56

Sounds like another self declared 'alpha' with a coke habit

Has he been watching downton Abbey and fancies having a footman?

Why have you put up with this cunt to date? You don't work? Neptune kitchen and David Lloyd membership right?

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