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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
amusedbush · 27/03/2022 16:23

@TheyCallMeJune

I don't understand why you don't just ask him! That would be the simplest way to find out rather than creeping round like Miss Marple!
Because he would lie, then turn his phone off?

I wouldn't tell him if I was in OP's situation. If I suspected an affair, I would continue to watch his location without his knowledge to gather evidence.

Asking him now would be showing your hand far too early, giving him time to come up with excuses.

oakleaffy · 27/03/2022 16:23

[quote BadDayForMe]@ididntevennotice I just looked on that site but can just see loads of planes. I can’t think straight to find my way around it.
I guess it won’t be too outing to say he’s flying into Bristol tomorrow afternoon. Can someone see if there’s a flight from faro please[/quote]
There’s a flight Monday from faro to Bristol

Good luck.

My AirPods are where I thought they were.  My husband isn’t!!
Mumof3confused · 27/03/2022 16:24

Call the hotel his phone shows that he’s in and ask to sheet out through to Mr BadDay…tell them it’s a family emergency.

Mumof3confused · 27/03/2022 16:24

‘Be put through to’ not sheet out

oakleaffy · 27/03/2022 16:24

Pic didn’t attach

My AirPods are where I thought they were.  My husband isn’t!!
shinynewapple22 · 27/03/2022 16:25

@Hopefullyoneday12

I'd be turning up at the hotel tonight. See what's really going on.

Really? You would leave your DC at home and fly out to where? Faro? Malaga? Tour round every hotel on the Algarve / Costa Del Sol?

Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 16:25

I'd ask, but not until he was home and face to face. No point at all asking by text.

springisaroundthecorner · 27/03/2022 16:26

The location may be inaccurate

maddy68 · 27/03/2022 16:27

I live in Spain. Lots of people come from Portugal to Spain for the gold. It's cheaper to get a flight there often and drive to the spanish courses. It's a really common thing to do.
Don't jump.to conclusions.

Wait until he gets back

WiddlinDiddling · 27/03/2022 16:28

Not remotely trying to defend the DH here.. more 'this might not be the disaster and catastrophic life changing thing you fear'...

Maybe 'Golfing in Portugal' has always actually been 'golfing at various courses around portugal and spain, depending who is going, who is driving, where's good, what the weather is like'..

Maybe the OP has been told that and not listened because frankly, who would its golf.. BORING.. or maybe he's never divulged the yawnsome details of golfing and choosing the course because she's not interested (again, who would be, blah, golf, its just an excuse to do fuck all of any use all day long).

I went to a conference in Belgium, I spent a good portion of that weekend in France - my OH had no clue whatsoever how we got there, nor where we were staying because of the few details I told him, he didn't really listen, as the salient points were 'Widdlin isn't here all weekend, she's out of the country, she might fetch back treats'.

When I go to conferences in the UK he rarely has an idea which end of the country I've gone to never mind which city!

The point being, it may not occur to him there is any reason to tell the OP exactly where he is!

Or, he is in fact shagging his way round Spain with some woman he has been hiding for the last 10 years, his golfing mates are in on it and he's a shit of the highest order.

Currently there isn't solid evidence of anything at all!

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 27/03/2022 16:28

@SW1amp he would have no option if she asked him to phone because it's an emergency.
The area code would tell her where he is.
If he can't or doesn't phone then she has her answer

GoFishandChips · 27/03/2022 16:29

Do you not know what hotel he is supposed to be staying in Portugal?

How do you not know what flight he is on and coming back on?

Why can't you message the wife of the colleague and ask her if her husband has gone with him, make up something like you can't get through to him etc. ?

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 16:32

@oakleaffy

That is a picture of the departure board.

Nostrings457 · 27/03/2022 16:33

Hope you get to the bottom of it op

SW1amp · 27/03/2022 16:33

[quote jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey]@SW1amp he would have no option if she asked him to phone because it's an emergency.
The area code would tell her where he is.
If he can't or doesn't phone then she has her answer [/quote]
If he phones from his mobile, an area code won’t come up Confused

Please tell me you aren’t considering a career in law enforcement

Noshowlomo · 27/03/2022 16:33

I had no idea on saving photos and pressing the I you could get the location. My husband definitely sent me the photo of two different cheesecakes from Asda ..!
Seriously though, I’d like to believe for now, that this may he innocent. There are enough shits out there, please let OPs husband just be a nice one.

ididntevennotice · 27/03/2022 16:36

@SW1amp

That poster probably meant the country code.

AnxiousHeffalump · 27/03/2022 16:36

Hmmm I wonder what his explanation will be.

Tuaca · 27/03/2022 16:37

How do you not know what flight he is on and coming back on?

Me and my DP have several trips away with friends, I have no idea where he is staying or what flight he's on. We are adults and can look after ourselves

CustardySergeant · 27/03/2022 16:37

maddy68 "I live in Spain. Lots of people come from Portugal to Spain for the gold."

There you are OP! He'll be secretly panning for gold in Spain! Grin

Pointlesspolice · 27/03/2022 16:41

Hopefully all a storm in a teacup!

FawnDrenched · 27/03/2022 16:41

Apologies if this has already been mentioned. I have read the majority of posts but not all.

The OP says that she did not know about find my phone and that her Ds explained it. It turned out her Dh had set it up for both phones. Am I the only one thinking that he has been using it to track her whereabouts and that is the reason for setting it up in the first place. He maybe thought he was safe in the knowledge that his DW did not know anything about the app.

Hoist with one’s own petard ....Maybe?

Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 16:42

@FawnDrenched

Apologies if this has already been mentioned. I have read the majority of posts but not all.

The OP says that she did not know about find my phone and that her Ds explained it. It turned out her Dh had set it up for both phones. Am I the only one thinking that he has been using it to track her whereabouts and that is the reason for setting it up in the first place. He maybe thought he was safe in the knowledge that his DW did not know anything about the app.

Hoist with one’s own petard ....Maybe?

As he put his own phone on it too, I'd guess it was genuinely to find lost phones (or earpods)
JustLyra · 27/03/2022 16:45

@FawnDrenched

Apologies if this has already been mentioned. I have read the majority of posts but not all.

The OP says that she did not know about find my phone and that her Ds explained it. It turned out her Dh had set it up for both phones. Am I the only one thinking that he has been using it to track her whereabouts and that is the reason for setting it up in the first place. He maybe thought he was safe in the knowledge that his DW did not know anything about the app.

Hoist with one’s own petard ....Maybe?

That did cross my mind.

Reminds me of a thread ages ago where the guy put it on the woman’s phone without her knowledge, then got huffy when she removed it.

LovingLivingLife · 27/03/2022 16:47

Sorry you're going through this! What an awful thing to be confronted with

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