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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband walked out tonight

687 replies

Username2101 · 21/03/2022 23:23

In the past few weeks my steady reliable husband has changed drastically. He went on a works party and basically came back a different person, he's become extremely focused about his weight. He's going out every weekend with "friends" he's never mentioned before, he's coming home later and later from work and making excuses to get out of the house.

I confronted him tonight and asked him very bluntly wtf is going on, I mean all this basically screams other woman. He started going on about him wanting to spend time with his friends and that he's the ONLY person in the whole wide world who has to ask for permission. (He doesn't)

I told him if he wanted his freedom so badly he can pack his bags, piss off and have it permanently. He walked out and went to stay with his friend, the friend who has regular parties with all the local 18 year old girls who think that a 45 year old man with a big house and a swimming pool is exciting.

Now I'm panicking, what on earth do I tell the children in the morning about where their daddy has gone, I have 2 months left of my degree and I'm at bloody placement until May. How am I meant to advise people about their lives when mine is a disaster.

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 23/01/2023 15:19

Great news Flowers

honeyrider · 23/01/2023 15:26

Great update.

Jimboscott0115 · 23/01/2023 15:28

Can't say anything else that hasn't already been said but wanted to say well done and am delighted things have picked up for you OP. It sounds like you've handled this amazingly and life has taken a significant turn for the better.

billy1966 · 23/01/2023 15:31

So pleased for you.

What a woman and role model for your children.

Well done.

Jimboscott0115 · 23/01/2023 15:31

Username2101 · 22/03/2022 20:25

I'll be honest, I humiliated myself and begged him not to do this.
He definitely had this planned for a while.

No decent man could look at his sobbing children and be ok with it.

Revisiting this post because it struck a chord. The single worst day of my life was the day I told the kids me and their mum were separating and I cried more than they did. To be so cold and calculating told you everything you needed to know about him and sounds like he got his just desserts in the end.

Well done for everything once again!

crazeelala2u · 23/01/2023 15:36

What a wonderful update. So happy you and your girls are finding your way.

AnneKipankitoo · 23/01/2023 15:55

That’s great @Username2101 ❤️

Ydkiml · 23/01/2023 16:09

Well done you . He has lost so much in you all . Keep your head high and your feet dancing . Please update again soon

Nannewnannew · 23/01/2023 16:23

What a lovely positive update, well done OP and wishing you and your children the best life. You are incredible.

MyDogLucy · 23/01/2023 16:49

I'm so glad you've updated, I often wonder how you're doing. So pleased to read this. You sound like a fantastic mum and honestly it sounds like you're better off without him so in a way, he did you a favour. You're doing amazingly, do try and update occasionally if you can x

Ofcourseshecan · 23/01/2023 17:15

One more of your fans saying thanks for the update, OP! It is so encouraging to read of a woman lifting herself and DC up out of the devastation caused by a self-centred man. What a sad and sorry specimen your ex is.

Your experiences will undoubtedly have deepened your understanding and skills as a social worker, and you are a superb role model. I wish all the best to you and DDs.

Flowersintheattic57 · 23/01/2023 17:31

Congratulations from me too. In a way it was good timing from him , if he was going to be an arse, because you were at the end of all your training.
So pleased for you, such a good role model to your children too, be proud every day, even when you are low you are still doing great. 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️

CiCi90 · 23/01/2023 18:13

Excellent update OP. It just shows the depth of your strength and courage. Well done!

adriftabroad · 23/01/2023 18:30

A wonderful strong woman and mother. Well done.

JaneAustensHeroine · 23/01/2023 18:44

I’m so pleased for you. You are stronger than you ever knew and a new future awaits! You are living it!

Congratulations on your degree and job. So well deserved. 💐🍾

Agree with @Ariautec …. Your independence and success will show your ex you can do very well without him weighing you down. It speaks volumes about you and your character.

Hotelfoxtrot · 23/01/2023 20:16

You’re amazing OP! I realise I don’t know you but I feel so proud reading your last update. Well done 👏

ZekeZeke · 23/01/2023 20:41

You are amazing OP

NewStartNow · 23/01/2023 20:55

Wow. Just read your story from the start.
You're an absolute inspiration.
Hope your daughters are doing OK especially the then 7 year old.
And what a serving of karma he got, although I'm sure it seems like a pyrrhic victory at times.
Keep on being your wonderful strong self. X

slowquickstep · 23/01/2023 21:08

Thank you for the update, i often wondered how you and the children were doing. So glad to hear you are doing so well. Be proud of yourself and your children x

Rickiticki · 23/01/2023 22:08

I’ve changed my username but have been with you throughout.
As Peter Pan keeps sliding down the snakes, you, OP, continue to climb ladders. What an utter fool he is, a laughing stock.
Keep us posted, will you? We’re with you all the way in your journey.
x

Scotsmum1 · 23/01/2023 22:14

You are powering through, absolutely brilliant to have your update. You are a total inspiration!
Enjoy your freedom when it comes - onwards and upwards Flowers.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 23/01/2023 22:20

What a story. Thanks for the updates. You totally rock.

I don't get how husbands can do this and love with themselves. Mine of 20 years did similar. Nobs.

ZaphodDent · 23/01/2023 22:48

Just want to add to the love for you. I hadn't seen this thread before but read all your posts this evening. So pleased to see the last update. I hope other people who find themselves in a similar situation can find this thread and get some hope from it.

EMUKE · 23/01/2023 23:00

Username2101 · 23/01/2023 15:04

I’m not sure if anyone is still reading this, but I thought I would update.

The kids are settled now and getting used to their new normal, they still have wobbles though.

The divorce is progressing and I applied for a conditional order, 6 more weeks and I’m officially free! My career is going great so far, I love my job and I’m earning more than i ever could have before my degree.

I want to thank you all again for the support, I was honestly in a very dark place and I’m not sure I would have got through it without this outlet.

YES still here for this!!! I’m a realist and the fact is this could happen to anyone Inc myself so reading your journey is aspiring. Thank you for sharing and updating! X

comfortablylesslumpy · 23/01/2023 23:01

Great update, OP . You are amazing x