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Original poster

Partners strange behaviour

181 replies

wouldyoucare · 21/03/2022 10:05

Once every so often. I don't understand it, it doesn't feel right, his reply to when I challenge it or want to talk about it is 'I am who I am'. Can you please tell me if I'm over reacting
So, here it goes:
-when I drive the car and he is in the front passenger seat he would honk at random people and wave them as if he knew them, he then would moan if they don't wave back and say how boring they are
-he would push me for fun when we are out for a walk, he does it gently but I still think it is just stupid, he stopped when I told him to stop doing it
-he would throw something lightweight (leaf) at people in the park and then pretend it wasn't him.
-there is a few terraced houses along the road and one of them has a bench in the front garden. He would go and sit on that bench claiming the garden isn't fenced therefore he can sit in the bench how long he wants
-we don't live together, he suggested inviting my brother and sister in law for a dinner at his, he helped preparing it but just before they were due to come, he fucked off to the gym, ended up coming back home few hrs later.
We have christening in family in few months time and I'm anxious he is going to do the same thing.

He seems to have his own rules for everything and says he is different to other people. but the thing is I'm never sure wheat to expect of him and I feel anxious because of that. He minimises it and makes me feel I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Am I? Am I sleepwalking into some sort of a disaster?
How can I make him see how wrong is it?
He is 39.

OP posts:
TibetanTerrah · 21/03/2022 10:09

He sounds so tedious, but this jumped out at me:

He seems to have his own rules for everything and says he is different to other people.

It actually sounds like this is an act he puts on to get attention, stand out, and also keep you on edge with his unpredictability. Like he deliberately goes against the tide just to shake things up a bit so you can never truly relax, rather than just being a bit eccentric or quirky.

I'm not exactly traditional or 'boring' but this would drive me up the wall tbh.

Bimblepops · 21/03/2022 10:09

TBH he sounds like a nightmare. How long have you been together and has been like that the entire time?

Watchkeys · 21/03/2022 10:15

How can I make him see how wrong is it

It's not your job to teach people how to behave. Why do you think your way is right and his way is wrong?

You and he are different to the point that it's making you uncomfortable having a relationship with him. This is the bit where you realise that everyone is who they are, and you have to take responsibility for yourself, by staying away from people who make you feel anxious, or negative in any way, rather than trying to work out how to make them do stuff your way.

There's lots of ways to do life 'right'. Yours isn't the only way, and if someone does life differently to you, it doesn't mean they're wrong.

NellyDElephant · 21/03/2022 10:17

He sounds very childish, and this is incredibly unattractive IMO. How old is he?

NellyDElephant · 21/03/2022 10:18

Whoops seen his age now - 39 and behaves like he’s 19? I wouldn’t be hanging around for much longer if I were you OP!

Opentooffers · 21/03/2022 10:36

I think he may actually be right, it probably is just him and given his age, he's unlikely to be able to change
You however, are trying to convince someone who has always been a bit odd to change to meet social norms. You are unlikely to be able to change him - do you think you are the first of his nearly 40 years to notice and tell him? Your choice is to decide whether the good outweighs the bad in him, but expect more of the same. .............. b

Catrice · 21/03/2022 10:37

Yes, agree with above poster. This is really immature, childish behaviour. The sort of thing a group of 12 year old lads might do! And he's 39???!!! I couldn't be doing with it personally. I'd find it tiresome and embarrassing. You want to be with a mature adult not a child. As for the being late thing when he went to the gym, well that was just selfish behaviour. Does he have any redeeming qualities?

Justleaveitblankthen · 21/03/2022 10:42

Bollocks to that. He's an annoying man-child. If he thinks it's his own 'normal' and he's just being himself, it would be interesting to see how he reacts if other people did all the same things back to him Hmm

Itwasntmeright · 21/03/2022 10:46

You can’t. He’s right when he says he is who he is, and who he is is a childish dickhead.

Teeturtle · 21/03/2022 10:48

He is right though, this is who he is. I would find it incredibly tedious and embarrassing and would leave him to it.

Teeturtle · 21/03/2022 10:48

*by leave him to it, I mean get him out of my life, not accept it.

thenewduchessoflapland · 21/03/2022 10:51

Does he tell you that you have no sense of humour when you tell him these things aren't funny?

Waterfordaston · 21/03/2022 10:51

My vagina just zipped itself closed at some of these antics. Does he make honking noises when he touches your boobs?

Kill him.

2DogsOnMySofa · 21/03/2022 10:53

Sounds like he's attention seeking.

comfortablyfrumpy · 21/03/2022 10:56

He's probably right, it's who he is.

Depends if you're willing to put up with that side of him. I don't think I could.

MayBMaybenot · 21/03/2022 11:00

How can I make him see how wrong is it?

The answer to this is that you can't. He's an immature man child who hasn't grown up and is never likely to do so. Thank goodness you don't live together - that makes it easier to remove him from your life and find someone who behaves like an adult.

Yes, he may "who he is" but that's not a grown man who is a fit partner for a grown woman (you). The sooner you get rid the better.

SamphiretheStickerist · 21/03/2022 11:03

How can I make him see how wrong is it?

Wrong question. The real question is how can you make yourself believe it is something you can live with?

As others have said, I can feel my ovaries shrivelling from here.

WheekestLink · 21/03/2022 11:05

Why are you in a relationship with this cretin? He beeps the horn when YOU'RE driving?!?! I'd have pressed the ejection button at that point. How embarrassing.

Tamworth123 · 21/03/2022 11:06

He sounds bat shit.

And there seems to be some high level immaturity in there too.

I'm not trying to be nasty but I remember John Bishop saying white trainers on adult men make them.look like someone who should be holding the hand of a responsible adult; Well, he sounds like he should be holding the hand of a responsible adult. He sounds like orother of the main characters in Dumb & Dumber.

Tamworth123 · 21/03/2022 11:07

*either

Tamworth123 · 21/03/2022 11:08

The answer to this is that you can't. He's an immature man child who hasn't grown up and is never likely to do so.

And this.

Coffeesnob11 · 21/03/2022 11:10

You don't have to be with someone who makes you feel anxious. Don't ask him to change as he will only do it temporarily. Find someone who you never have to worry about their behaviour.

NorthSouthcatlady · 21/03/2022 11:12

He thinks he is wild, crazy and lots of fun. In reality he’s a dick and rather annoying

thistimelastweek · 21/03/2022 11:15

He sounds like a prat.

Crikeyalmighty · 21/03/2022 11:16

He’s just very childish and ‘fun’ loving — to be honest that’s fine if you love constant tiggerish behaviour, but you don’t and I wouldn’t either — he won’t change, he is right when he says that’s how he is —