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Original poster

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
alwaysontheloo · 20/03/2022 15:05

I doubt even Jeffree Star would pay that much attention to your eye liner Hmm
Dump, dump and thrice dump. He's vile.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 20/03/2022 15:05

And who the fuck is he to be waxing so lyrically about your makeup?

Ru bastard Paul?

Teachersaurus · 20/03/2022 15:05

What a horrible message. He really doesn't like you.

He also has a very different taste in make-up to you... and thinks that his opinion on it is fact. (Is he a great fashion/style guru and a gift to the world on this subject?)

He sounds awful.

Even if you have non-coordinated panda eyes and a passion for yellow lipstick, you are too stylish and too high in value for this man.

Ellmau · 20/03/2022 15:06

Tell him to find someone who does makeup to the standard he wants then.

You deserve better.

Macanncheese · 20/03/2022 15:07

What an absolute prick! He's got to go OP.

Original poster
Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 15:07

Thanks for all the messages of support xxx
I’m new to this site so still figuring how it works so please be patient.

OP posts:
Passanotherjaffacake · 20/03/2022 15:07

Wow OP - I’m so sorry you had something like this, like a PP, I was also open mouthed as I read this!

My first thought is that I’m not sure this is a man who actually likes women, that is a huge red flag for me. Time to find someone better.

I would just immediately consider myself single and never contact him again. He is already dumping you with that message so don’t do a pick me dance or tolerate being treated this way. Replies/justifications/further interaction will just feed the ego.

SpiderVersed · 20/03/2022 15:08

Why be with someone who disrespects you this much?
Bin him.

Original poster
Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 15:08

Also my makeup hasn’t changed in anyway since we met . It’s been the same .

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 20/03/2022 15:10

Dump him
But it might be also worth asking a very good and honest friend if your make up needs a bit of adjustment too

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 20/03/2022 15:10

@RandomBasic

He doesn't like you.
This.

sorry OP, but he seems more interested in your make up than he is in you.

spacehardware · 20/03/2022 15:11

He's choosing to date a woman whose looks he dislikes (or says he does anyway), so he can put her down about them

He's a cunt. Please dump him

PegasusReturns · 20/03/2022 15:12

He was horrid and you should get rid.

But your last post jumped out:

I’m 44 but I’m blessed that I look much younger . People think I’m in my 20s sometimes!

this is quite unlikely. Very very few genuinely look a decade-plus younger than they are so I’m a bit on the fence regarding your own self awareness. I’d ask a friend to give you a brutally honest appraisal of your makeup.

NaomhPadraigin · 20/03/2022 15:13

Is there anything good about this relationship?
I think he was unnecessarily cruel, even if he didn't like your makeup there's a way to say it without making you feel like shit.

FinallyHere · 20/03/2022 15:14

Thank you lucky stars that he had been honest do you know to ditch him.

Find someone for whom you are absolutely beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this is the point of that saying.

Don't waste your time, your life with someone like this. He may one day wake up and see the error of his ways. Don't wait around to find out.

I'm nothing much to look at but DH genuinely thinks I'm beautiful. Used to embarrass me, now I'm used to it and I like it.

Now I've read the whole thread and agree with @FriedaKleinsCat Spot on. It's not about uour makeup it's about undermining your confidence. He is probably insecure and trying to make himself feel better by undermining you.

Sorry. Get rid.

Wintersbone · 20/03/2022 15:14

I'd bet you there's is nothing wrong with your makeup. This is about control. This is designed to make you question yourself and your self worth. He's mean, OP. And that's not a trait that comes and goes. Never mind what colour your lippy is he's shown you HIS true colours. He's embarrassed by you? Really? So good enough to fuck but not good enough to take out. Right. There's red flags flying all over this.

skybluee · 20/03/2022 15:14

Can you show us a photo of your make-up?
Either way, it's a hideous message. He could've said the same thing in a couple of sentences in a much nicer way, i.e.. "I'm not a fan of your make-up". He didn't need to say it how he did and it seems horrible. Even if you are wearing unusual make-up (we have no way of knowing) there are way better ways to handle this (and it may well be there's absolutely nothing wrong with your make-up anyway). Sorry this has happened x

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 15:14

Honestly, I mean this gently, but it’s really unusual for a woman in her mid forties to look twenty years younger especially with heavy unnatural make up, which is usually very ageing and seldom flattering. If you do then that is fantastic and you are very lucky indeed.

Either way, it’s your face, and I don’t think the relationship can proceed further, you can’t be with someone who is ashamed to be seen with you due to your appearance.

Don’t change how you look, but I think you need to end the relationship. There isn’t anyway forward now he’s said it.

Charette · 20/03/2022 15:14

Leaving aside entirely the cruelty of this, that message is extremely odd in its vocabulary. H sounds like an unpleasant judge criticising a craft project (‘poor application and choices’ , ‘worst artwork I’ve seen’), not his girlfriend’s face.

How long have you been a couple? Regardless, it seems as if any respect or consideration for your feelings has gone, so I’d be telling where he can shove his offer of makeup tuition.

SpringSummerAutumnSpring · 20/03/2022 15:15

I mean if he doesn’t like how you wear your make up then fair enough, but what a weird and mean way to phrase it. I’d bin him.

Some women do wear make up in ways that look ridiculous in my opinion - I don’t think they obviously realise, I mean if they like it then fair play but sometimes it seems a bit like when people do Botox and fillers and lose track of how distorted they’ve become, the same can happen with caked on foundation and thick eyeliner and clumpy spider leg mascara.
I would get an honest opinion from a friend - although if you really like how you look it doesn’t matter. I sometimes ask my DH what he thinks of my clothes but if I really like it and he doesn’t I still wear it, I don’t care if others think the outfit it silly.

girlmom21 · 20/03/2022 15:15

@PegasusReturns

He was horrid and you should get rid.

But your last post jumped out:

I’m 44 but I’m blessed that I look much younger . People think I’m in my 20s sometimes!

this is quite unlikely. Very very few genuinely look a decade-plus younger than they are so I’m a bit on the fence regarding your own self awareness. I’d ask a friend to give you a brutally honest appraisal of your makeup.

This comment stood out to me too and made me wonder if people assume you're younger because of the bright, poorly applied make up, rather than because you look that age.

Not that that makes a difference to him being horrible, but maybe it's something to consider.

7eleven · 20/03/2022 15:17

Sounds like he’s got the ick feeling about you. Do yourself a favour and bow out with your dignity intact.

Susu49 · 20/03/2022 15:18

He's a knob, get rid. Not just for his response to your question but the fact that he made you feel that you had to ask the question in the first place!

impossible · 20/03/2022 15:18

Can we see your message to him? It's hard to get the measure of his response without reading your message.

Re the make up, he's certainly clumsy but you did ask and clearly it's bothering him. Could you ask your friends if you're doing something odd with your make up that they think you could change. If not and you're happy with the look, then clearly it's a question of taste so I'd probably call the relationship off. If you like a look that he doesn't like your relationship will always be strained.

Bluetrews25 · 20/03/2022 15:19

OP, you think you look ok.
Your friends think you look ok.
This is nothing to do with make up and all about control.
He started the control by not taking you out-out.
Then you gave him a glorious opportunity to tell you why. But he lied. Really, he doesn't take you out because he wants to keep you under his thumb.
Yet again, a man is mansplaining to a woman something that mainly only women do. But the man is right, because he is A Man. Hmm