I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

[Yorkshiregurl1]

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

Also he might not take you to places he goes with his other friends because he probably has one night stands when he's out and doesn't want people to know he has a girlfriend.
So to be so brutal but he's up to something.
Please dump him today life is too short.
No clothes you wear, no makeup you put on, nothing you do will ever be good enough. X

Not that it should matter but has your makeup application changed dramatically since you first started dating? If it was the same back then then why is he suddenly being a bellend about it now? I think there's something else he's hiding, like speaking to someone else?

What a bizarre response.

You were obviously right on the money.

His response is unkind and odd.

But it's better you know that now. I am not sure wether he is, technically, right or wrong is the point really. But do you wear mismatching shoes? Most people wouldn't want to go out with someone with mistached shoes. Not sure that hunting lying would have helped you now.

This is going to play on your mind. If you have any friends who will be more tactful
Can you ask them about your make up and tell them you need the truth. For your own piece of mind.

I can see his point. He didn't just tell you this, you asked and he gave an honest answer. Without seeing it, no one can here can tell if your application really does look bad. It's a bit like having to tell your partner they have BO or their breath smells. It's not being unkind for the sake of it, it's trying to help the other person not look odd/smell weird/whatever.

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@Redcrayons
I liked winged linger and I don’t Contour or cake on makeup but it more a heavy make up look rather than natural ?[/quote]
Ok, if it’s a heavy look that’s not natural, maybe that’s what he is refering too, why do you do wear heavy make up, is it a preference or insecurity etc ?

Heavy make up seldom looks good unless you really know what you’re doing and even then it’s very very hard to pull off. Do you think maybe there is something in what he says? Could you be wearing too much badly applied?

Also why text him if he was embarrassed? If my husband wasn’t wanting to go out that would be my last thought, that he was embarrassed by me, so is there more to this, have you picked up on something, maybe the way he looks at you?

So either your makeup is fine and he’s a twat or your makeup is bad and he’s still a twat.

What’s wrong with people on here, no matter what the issue is between a couple someone always says oh he must be cheating. It’s batshit.

What @Bytrgrewd said!

This is so awful. If your make up offends him so much why does he stay with you? Is he admitting he's using you for an easy regular share? Because that's what it sounds like. It also puts you in the position where he's wrecked your self esteem to the point where you feel you have to change yourself to suit him. Every time you see him from now on you'll be watching for signs as to whether he "approves" of your look or not

I had two men like this. The first called me "socially awkward". We would hang out with his friends yet he would sit in the corner not saying anything with a face on, I would try and join in conversations etc. Afterwards he would always tell me that every time I opened my mouth he cringed. We broke up nearly 10 years ago and I still think of his words during social interactions even though I apparently make friends easily!

Another had an opinion on my hair, my make up, my clothes. I'm pretty middle of the road, but wanted to dye my hair ombre. "Ew don't dye your hair blonde". I was looking at a new wardrobe and mentioned a jumpsuit id liked. "Ew i really hate jumpsuits" who the fuck cares? Its me wearing it, and you're 22st, won't admit it so your clothes don't fit, and you don't seem to care that you wander around town with your arse crack hanging out?! He really thought a lot of himself to believe that I should take notice of his opinions on fashion

I really don't think your relationship has a future. As PPs have said, his delivery was outright cruel and you're faced with either jumping thru hoops to please him or continuing as you are and feeling scrutinised which will further wreck your self esteem. Its a no win here.

@AlisonDonut

If anyone said that to me I'd tell them to fuck right off and would ditch them completely. And I'd wear crazy make up to do it. And I don't even wear fucking make up.

This. I’d dump him in clown face. Or write ‘Fuck Off’ in eyeliner on my forehead.

did he not notice your makeup at some point before you got together?

I think he needs binning immediately. Youre noones charity case. Its not about the makeup. Hes just a knob

Shag not share. Bloody autocorrect

@Gooders1105

Dump. He’s trying to change the way you think you should look. You can do whatever you want to your face. No one else gets a say. Horrible patronising and cruel message. Urgh.

I agree it's a cruel message, and she can do what she wants with her face. But he's allowed to say he doesn't like it. If I was taking my boyfriend with me to an industry award ceremony and he wanted to go in old jeans and a sloganed t-shirt, I'd be telling him to change the way he looked or not come. Of course he's entitled to say he's not changing so not coming. But I definitely have the right to say I don't like the way he looks.

I read this with my mouth open in shock. GET. RID.

Is he a conservative type? Someone who likes the "I look like I'm not wearing much makeup but it took me 90 minutes to achieve this look" look? There are some girls who can carry off dramatic and flamboyant makeup if that's their overall style. If it's YOUR style and he's not taking you anywhere because of it I would suggest you two aren't compatible . It's not your problem, it's his

He sounds like he despises you. I can’t imagine how you can stay with him.

@FairyCakeWings

Winged eyeliner is hard to get right and it often doesn’t look good. But it’s your face and if you like your make up then that’s all that matters.

You asked him a question and he answered honestly. I don’t think that makes him a bad person, but it does mean that he doesn’t adore you the way he should if this relationship is going to be any good for you. Get rid, and carry on wearing your make up the way you like it.

This

Has your make up changes since you got with him? Has it got heavier?

@Orchidsonthetable
Normal colours like reds and pinks . Nothing out there
I have more natural colours and brighter pinks etc
I get complimented on my makeup by friends and at work etc so I don’t think it’s bad ? My wing isn’t wonky either

@Earlydancing that’s a completely different scenario and you know it.

He clearly has no respect for you, OP, so I would send him a parting message.

So essentially he’s admitted he avoids taking you to certain places and is embarrassed by your ‘look’ (make up).

That’d be it for me.

How bad is your make up that he doesn’t want to be seen out with you..

At least he was honest.

What a cunt!!! What a total absolute bellend! Ditch the miserable wanker immediately!

This is beyond weird! Has your style totally changed since you started dating?

Presumably he started seeing you knowing what you look like and how you present yourself?

I've never heard a man talk like that about make-up. He seems seriously interested in it...

Anyway whether your make-up is expertly applied or looks as though a 3 year old helped you, presumably you wore it this way when you first became a couple! Why is it suddenly an issue now? It sounds as though he's seriously got some strange messed up agenda to make you feel terrible (and as though he's doing you a favour paying you scraps of attention perhaps)?