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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
BakeOffRewatch · 21/03/2022 21:48

You go Yorkshire gurl!

Sassbott · 21/03/2022 22:03

This update has made me so happy.

simplelife100 · 21/03/2022 22:06

It doesn't matter what colour make up you wear , if it loads of little he has basically told you what he thinks, get rid and never change who you are or what your put on your face or body. From some one who been put down for years from ex and made to feel never good enough and no self confidence get out now don't ever let someone out your self down. Took me a long time to figure this out so please dump the prat

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 21/03/2022 22:49

Bloody good for you.

And, also, can you teach my how to fix my scraggy eyebrows?

I am not a very nice person - so I am hoping that you dump him by sending him a link to this thread.

You'd have to change your username, which might be a bit more of an effort than he deserves, but I'm DELIGHTED by the idea that some inadequate negging pratt gets to open a text with 28 pages of "ha ha ha, no, it's not you, it's definitely him" from MN.

If I knew how to do a chef's kiss I would.

Bloody good for you.

Yellownightmare · 21/03/2022 23:06

Well done OP. So thrilled for you.

Btw if you ever doubt yourself, just look at the way Richard Ratcliffe looks at his wife. That's what we all deserve!

Yorkshiregurl1 · 21/03/2022 23:07

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria lol@ sending the link

Try Anastasia Beverly Hills dip brow

OP posts:
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 21/03/2022 23:11

@Yorkshiregurl1 am googling her, thank you. Hoping she's got a video on "how to sort out your tache" and "when tits go bad" too.

I am serious.

Send him the link.

"MN think the silver fox thing is cool, but they have some concerns. If you've got time, have a read, and good luck with your life"

G'wan, g'wan, g'wan.

Abaababa · 21/03/2022 23:15

Well done for dumping his pathetic ass

saraclara · 21/03/2022 23:18

Excellent news. You deserve a boyfriend who will actually take you out!

TwtrT · 21/03/2022 23:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BlueSummerBaby · 21/03/2022 23:25

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

when tits go bad

😂

OP congratulations 🎉 wishing you luck finding someone worthy of your affections (when you're ready) Flowers

Sswhinesthebest · 21/03/2022 23:51

Well done. Find someone who appreciates you.

Sswhinesthebest · 21/03/2022 23:52

Let us know what he says when you dump him - I really hope you do actually do it.

Panda8383 · 22/03/2022 00:01

You deserve better than him, your make up was lovely so really don’t know what he was on about! I bet he could really do with some pointers on how to look good!!! Cheeky sod

beastlyslumber · 22/03/2022 08:19

Aw I'm so happy to read your update @Yorkshiregurl1!!! You deserve so much better than this cold and useless lump.

billy1966 · 22/03/2022 08:42

OP,
Don't take on board his nasty text.
It is a reflection of HIS ugliness.

Do not give it any further consideration.
He is a loser.

Move on.

Your eyes are stunning.

Loopytiles · 22/03/2022 08:55

Good decision!

Don’t let one man’s opinion - a man who didn’t treat you well at that - affect your self esteem.

PollyDarton1 · 22/03/2022 09:09

This sounds really eerily familiar to my ex DP who sat me down six months in to tell me he needed to chat to me about some feelings he'd had when we first started dating about how I wasn't his type and I was bigger than he normally dated.

He felt guilt and shame about it but it was all OK now because I'd lost weight (weirdly, I could sense, along with little remarks he had made about my clothes and appearance) and he no longer felt that way about me. But my weight was a constant elephant in the room for him, including when I found out I was pregnant he said "You'd better lose the baby weight!" Hmm

You look gorgeous, and I'm glad you've dumped him.

Liamgallaghersparka · 22/03/2022 09:26

Good for you, OP! You deserve so much better. It's his loss! Good luck for the future Flowers

Yorkshiregurl1 · 22/03/2022 09:36

@Sswhinesthebest
I don’t actually want to talk to him but I was thinking maybe I should tell him when I’m feeling at my best ?
I have a meal at a fancy Michelin starred restaurant booked next week. One which you have to book for months in advance . I’m not a pretentious person but it was given to me as a gift by my son and I’m really looking forward to going. I thought I’d go with my bf and make a night out of it . I bought a gorgeous new dress for the occasion ibb.co/mJ26Y8y I never usually dress like this and I’m planning to get my hair cut and styled that day.
My bf on the other hand has proper dragged his heels about this meal since I asked him to come . I even pushed it back by a month to accommodate for him as it fell on his moving house weekend. Which means it’ll be 4 months since I booked it .
I don’t understand. It’s just an experience . One which we won’t be paying for apart from the drinks and service charge which I would get anyway . On the morning he sent me that message he also said he has zero interest in going as it’s pretentious and because there is a dress code. I.e he has to wear a suit.
I just thought we don’t really go out out so it would be nice to dress up and enjoy a nice evening together .

Anyway , after all this I have a choice .
A) go on my own anyway
B) go with one of my friends . Two of my male friends have expressed an interest in going with me - who says no to a free meal lol! (Well maybe one person!)
Either way I’ll wear my gold heels look super glam, confidence high and maybe FaceTime him and tell him to go do one !

OP posts:
Yorkshiregurl1 · 22/03/2022 09:41

Thanks all for the messages of support 😘😘
Naturally I still feel really rubbish but It will get better ❤️‍🩹🙏🏼

OP posts:
goody2shooz · 22/03/2022 09:45

May I suggest you go with your son, or any good friend. Totally block Mr Shitforbrains and leave him in his own ugliness. Go and celebrate your new improved life!

Yorkshiregurl1 · 22/03/2022 09:48

@goody2shooz
My son has moved out of the area and lives like 5 hours away .
I have the confidence to go alone but naturally it’s an experience best enjoyed with company .

OP posts:
Sswhinesthebest · 22/03/2022 09:48

Definitely option B without the FaceTime - although enjoy thinking about it. Have a wonderful time.

But you do need to finish with him sooner rather than later. You can’t just leave it. That’s not really on.
I’d normally say you should have the decency to do it face to face, but given his text I think a text back would suffice now. And it doesn’t have to be all that polite either!

FajitaFriday · 22/03/2022 09:52

Wow. What a nasty message Sad so cruel of him to go into such detail as to what he hates about your make up. Make your winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut that prick out of your life! GrinWink