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Original poster

I asked my bf if he is embarrassed by me this is his response . I don’t know what to make of it.

748 replies

Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:16

So, I asked my bf if he’s embarrassed by me as we never venture out of town for food or on day trips etc . This is his response. No one’s ever said anything like this to me so I don’t know what to make of it ?

Being embarrassed about you.
Well I didn’t want to say this but it is the elephant in the room so it’s being noticed so I suppose I’ll be honest. Imagine every time I came to see you I wore odd mismatching shoes would you sit there quietly? You probably would but you would notice and somewhere deep inside you would think ahh FFS!! In the same way I struggle with your make up application and choices. The amount of times I’ve seen squiggly lines or poor application of make up it’s pretty obvious it’s not your skill. The last time I saw you in my head I was thinking what the hell have you done to your eyes that’s probably the worse make up choice and application I’ve seen. It’s at a point I been searching for make up lessons as a gift! So I don’t need to tell you but now that you asked. It shouldn’t bother me but it’s been getting under my skin to a point where I think you look better without it but no you choose bizarre lipstick colours which don’t match you complexion etc. i can categorically say that some of the artwork you done on your face especially around the eyes is the worst I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I didn’t want to wake to read this crap aswell.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:26

@LizDoingTheCanCan
The “crap” was the text I sent him regarding him being embarrassed of me . I called him out as to why we don’t go places which he goes to with other friends ? It wasn’t unpleasant in anyway shape or form

OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 20/03/2022 14:26

He sounds like a total cock.

Even if your makeup is awful, he’s a dick.
Is it? Is it really badly applied? How many men are bothered by the lipstick of their girlfriend not suiting them? What’s going on there?
Either you’re wearing purple lipstick or he’s a complete control freak who only likes a very specific look.

MrsColinRobinson · 20/03/2022 14:26

What a freak he is! Don't just dump him immediately, make sure to provide a detailed critique of his many failings for him to reflect on during one of his many evenings alone.

FriedaKleinsCat · 20/03/2022 14:26

The make up is not the issue here. Frankly OP, you may have brilliant make up skills or no skills at all. The point is that his response to you is tactless and cruel. You made yourself vulnerable to him by asking if he was embarrassed by you. He answered with complete frankness but in a manner that would clearly hurt your feelings badly. The issue is not your make up, it’s the way he responded to you and how it makes you feel.

Orchidsonthetable · 20/03/2022 14:26

I’m also not sure if makes him a bad person either, the whole thing here is based on if it’s true or not. Also what kind of lipstick do you wear thay he thinks is bizzare and what does he mean by artwork round your face, have you been contouring or something?

FleetwoodRaincoat · 20/03/2022 14:26

Maybe your make up isn't brilliant? I see lots of women on TV who I think look very artificial and very often orange with thick brows etc. Maybe it's this fashion that he doesn't like? Could it be that you like your look and he doesn't?

Or maybe your make-up is fine and he's an arse.

You probably need someone else to be brutally honest with you about this, although most people won't be (if it looks bad).

It's a horrible thing to hear, but you did ask the question.

babywalker2 · 20/03/2022 14:27

Charming! I'd be looking forward to spending time on my own after that.

Lurking9to5 · 20/03/2022 14:28

Blimey.

Id ask a trusted friend if the winged eyeliner is a yes or a no.

But either way, even if yr eyeliner is terrible, he didnt deliver the message kindly

yellowsmileyface · 20/03/2022 14:28

I presume you do your makeup as you always have done, in which case why did he get into a relationship with you in the first place?

Why hasn't he said anything until now if it bothered him that greatly?

He's being a dick, and regardless of how you wear your makeup there's no excuse for such a nasty message.

I'm curious how long you've been together? Has he shown signs of being critical and controlling before?

Honestly I'd dump him if I were you.

SantaHat · 20/03/2022 14:29

He’s an utter arsehole. Do you really need us to tell you that and to tell you you need to remove him from your life immediately?

RicherThanYew · 20/03/2022 14:29

Even if you deliberately chose to plaster your face in Maybelline eyeshadow like an abstract Jackson Pollock, he doesn't get to make you feel bad about yourself. You can do better than this odd person.

RollofDice · 20/03/2022 14:29

Who is he, James fucking Charles?!!

Original poster
Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:31

@Redcrayons
I liked winged linger and I don’t Contour or cake on makeup but it more a heavy make up look rather than natural ?

OP posts:
Echobelly · 20/03/2022 14:31

I wonder if he's gone out with high maintenance girls without an eyelash out of place before or something?! At any rate, what a knob.

CamsPaisleyCuffs · 20/03/2022 14:32

Have you started wearing lots of make up since you first met him or changed your look dramatically? Surely he was attracted to your look/style enough to start going out with you in the first place?

I completely get it if you've started channelling Morticia Addams or similar (and that's fine if that's what you want just as he can decide that's not something he is attracted to), but a bit of eyeliner and lippy? Nah he can jog on.

lisaandalan · 20/03/2022 14:33

Why are you still with him, he wants to make you something you are not, getting you a make up gift, so you can do your make up how he likes, next thing it will be your clothes.
Send him a message you think you've come to the end of the road and are going off to meet someone who loves you for who you are.
The fact that he even said he didn't want to wake up to read this is awful In itself, he does not care about your feelings and he will make you feel so bad about yourself just by manipulating you.
Don't waste your life with him, he will ruin your life.

itsgettingweird · 20/03/2022 14:34

Well if he wants to be with you then he wants to be with hou for everything about you.

He doesn't get to be with you and then changing your choices about clothing and make up.

I'm not a fan of heavily applied winged make up. But I'd choose not to be embarrassed around someone wearing it if I liked them enough to hang out with them. I wouldn't think it's my place to change them.

It's a massive red flag.

Do yourself a favour and bolt.

SamphiretheStickerist · 20/03/2022 14:34

If it was for a chapter in a book your editor would return it to you as unlikely to convince.

But in a boyfriend? He's a twat. Is it safe to assume this isn't the only way he treats you as an occasional commodity?

diamondpony80 · 20/03/2022 14:34

Is he gay? Because I don’t know a single straight man that cares that much (or has that much knowledge) about make up application. If not then he’s just a complete dick head and not worth your time.

burnoutbabe · 20/03/2022 14:35

Well if a friend asked you about their ott make up you could polite but honest.

He was mostly rude about it.

So he should be dumped for that. Unless he had some issue that makes him super blunt at times? Ie he can not lie well.

Guiltypleasures001 · 20/03/2022 14:35

I'm assuming he doesn't shut his eyes during sex?

Ide bin him, but also take a genuine look at my makeup Thanks

Original poster
Yorkshiregurl1 · 20/03/2022 14:36

@FriedaKleinsCat

I’m stunned…… numb

OP posts:
LizDoingTheCanCan · 20/03/2022 14:36

[quote Yorkshiregurl1]@LizDoingTheCanCan
The “crap” was the text I sent him regarding him being embarrassed of me . I called him out as to why we don’t go places which he goes to with other friends ? It wasn’t unpleasant in anyway shape or form[/quote]
He obviously thought it was unpleasant! It does come across that your relationship is coming to an end, on both sides.

Heavy makeup can be very difficult to look good. If you don't want to ask a friend, take a photo of yourself after a few hours and see what you think. My eye make up looks terrible if I wear too much, I'd rather someone told me than let me carry on looking like that.

Gooders1105 · 20/03/2022 14:36

Dump. He’s trying to change the way you think you should look. You can do whatever you want to your face. No one else gets a say. Horrible patronising and cruel message. Urgh.

Earlydancing · 20/03/2022 14:36

You asked him and he was honest. Unnecessarily brutally honest really. But clearly he finds your makeup a turn off. He's still with you, though, so he either likes you as a person, in which case you can turn things round - if you want to. Or he's using you - maybe for a good shag?

But whether you finish with him or not, maybe you should review you makeup application. My sister had been watching makeup tutorials on YouTube and started to put a blob on her lid next to her lashes. In the end I had to speak to her about it. Because if I didn't, no one else would (her DH wouldn't even notice) and she needed to stop doing it or refine it in some way. (And ps, I told her because I loved her.)