I should add op that between 17 and 21 I was in a 'sorta' relationship with someone too. By that I mean, I loved him but he would never let me know where I stood. We functioned as a relationship yes, he acted like we were in one but, we weren't. He would tell mutual friends that we were just mates.
About two years in, he started name dropping another 'friend' and my heart felt like he had it in a vice grip. What I could I do, I couldn't say anything because 'we're just mates' and I didn't want to look like a crazy possessive weirdo.
And of course, that's why they do it. That's why they never make things official. So if something else they like the look of comes along they can just add her to their portfolio.
So I stepped back a but and paired it back to only friendship. It hurt like a bitch but I wasn't ready to walk away. But then, a funny thing happened...I started to realise, that as a person, I didn't like him. That he was a lousy friend, and had been even worse as anything more.
He was selfish, mean, went out if his way to ruin things I looked forwards to and would slang off the new lass he was seeing one minute and then try to compare me unfavorably with her the rest!
I fell out of love with him and I realised, I wouldn't ever choose someone like this as a friend. So why on earth would I want them to be my partner?!
As I've got older I've learned that I will never stay with someone who isn't proud to have me as their partner. Because I would never treat anyone like that. I have basic moral fibre...and a heart. And people who don't want to see or acknowledge your worth, don't belong in our lives.
And incase it was a worry: you are good enough.
It's him that isn't good enough for you.
Your feelings matter. Your needs matter. And anyone who cannot see your worth, is not worth your time.