Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Nothing better than treating outrselves like VIPs! Does wonders for your confidence and self esteem 💗

@Thisisworsethananticpated

ibelieveinmirrorballs Tomorrow evening ! Fast work Good luck , good to get them out of the way fast I say especially if you like the sound of him

I only had the Botox as it’s an old family friend that does it , also a nurse and she’s doing a nice job
But I’m quite liking it now , but also doing a lot
More skin care , self care , yoga , waxing , eyebrows, yoga, hair care , exercise , pelvic floor, shaving .. I’ll stop there

That’s a lot reading it !!!

Yes me too.. it makes a massive difference to how I feel.

Yes plan is to go for a walk in town this evening after my work event finishes, or if times don’t quite work we’ll meet tomorrow instead.

Looking forward to it but had timely session with therapist yesterday and going to focus on calmness and holding back a bit.

@Eesha this message is a bit late, but I'm sorry this happened - the end of a relationship is so disappointing and flattening.

I've been thinking a lot about what both you and @ibelieveinmirrorballs have said about jumping into relationships/emotional involvement maybe too quickly when you feel connected to someone. Both of your comments really resonated with me. I really feel for you, as I know this feeling all too well

@ButterflyOfShay oooh Ibiza sounds like it could offer some excitement! Sorry that the magic of Mr Turk seems to have dissipated - having a little crush can put a spring in one's step!

@ibelieveinmirrorballs good luck with the meet, sounds really exciting. I too get totally over invested really early and not sure how to try and enjoy the whole process.
I have been chatting to someone for a week, we have both said we would like to meet and he asked yesterday about us speaking on the phone, which sounds sensible. I just always feel really suspicious that until I meet them they might not be who they say they are which just makes me really anxious alot of the time.

Thanks @Itsthejourney - I’m getting a bit nervous!

All such a weird process this OLD. The build up and then things going either one way or the other post first meeting - might never speak to him again, might end up shagging - you just have no idea!

Need a bit of advice on how to phrase something delicately

Ms H’s daughter is going to be away for Easter 🐣, and she (Ms H ), is asking about me staying over hers Sat night ( which is quite a bit thing as we normally endup at mine), anyhow we are still currently using condoms, (which is fine by me), but she has mentioned stopping using them as she is post menopause, so no pregnancy risk, but I would like her to take an SH test before we take that step, I have no problem in asking, asking her, and obviously I’m going to get one,
But what is a polite way of asking her, just come straight out and ask?

Thoughts ? How would you like to be asked..

‘Ok before we stop using condoms I reckon we both need to take the tests. Agreed?’

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow keeping in mind that I am very direct, I would like a direct approach. Something like: you mentioned the idea of stopping using condoms, and I would love that. However, for both of our health, I think it would be best for both of us to get an STI test first just to make sure there aren't any risks that we aren't aware of. Would that be ok for you?

I'm still on holiday. I met MrS in late March and we went on a 3 dates over a week or two.

We've now established that we won't be able to see each other again until the last week of April due to various plans and commitments over the Easter holiday.

He seems content to continue texting and I know that he really likes me. However, I am climbing the walls a bit. I really just want to be able to go on some more dates and get to know each other. It seems bizarre to meet someone, hit it off, and then wait literally a month for the next meeting.

I also feel like it is immature that I even care so much. We're grownups. We have things to do. Maybe this type of lengthy wait is normal?

To add that texting can become very familiar, but it's in no way the same as an in-person meeting. It's like the dreaded pen pal!

@gelatodipistacchio
Great 👍🏼, I’m using using that

@gelatodipistacchio

To add that texting can become very familiar, but it's in no way the same as an in-person meeting. It's like the dreaded pen pal!

I’d definitely want regular phone calls or video calls in lieu of a face to face meet. Sometimes this is “just the way it is” but I think a mutual recognition that it’s a bit irritating in terms of bad timing and attempts to compensate would help me I think.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs this is a good point. I think part of what is bothering me is that he seems so content. I mean, I want to feel that there is some passion for me

gelatodipistacchio

What are the reasons for not meeting
As if in different countries great 👍

But could you travel and meet halfway if in the UK ?
I can see where you are coming from and you could ask him ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated I'm currently abroad. He will be abroad next week and with his parents for Easter. The following week, I start a new job so I can't really sneak out for a date. I also don't want to invite a new man over when my daughter is at home.

Honestly, I would never willingly have a LDR, though they seem to have found me many times in my life. This is triggering me because it feels like one!

Ok so it is what it is then
Patience ! You are in same city usually ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated yes, he even lives very close by!

I have been telling myself that I need to be patient, but this limbo when we are not actually in a relationship is very uncomfortable for me. Like, why am I messaging you? Why am I so keen to receive your messages? What is the point of this?

Sounds like maybe I just have to suck it up, SIGH.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow great - glad that helped

Sorry to hog the thread, but I also haven't had sex in at least 3 years and I do have my horn back, awakened by my night with him. It's excruciating! I need relief!

Hold in your inner psycho @gelatodipistacchio!! We all have one when we like someone 😄😄

@ibelieveinmirrorballs

Thanks *@Itsthejourney* - I’m getting a bit nervous!

All such a weird process this OLD. The build up and then things going either one way or the other post first meeting - might never speak to him again, might end up shagging - you just have no idea!

Exciting @ibelieveinmirrorballs!! Well done for braving it back out there again 💖

@ButterflyOfShay 😅 point taken

@ibelieveinmirrorballs good luck with MrGinger. May you be able to contain your inner psycho better than I have been

@gelatodipistacchio
I think we are in a similar boat (maybe I’m in the other end of it),
Ms H doesn’t want me around when her daughter is about and doesn’t seem deficient in the horn department either 😊
She tends to come over to mine at moment, feels like we are sneaking about like teenagers !

gelatodipistacchio
I hear you ! Could you not see him week 4 (the week you start a new job !) ?

But either way someone local is great and not a pen pal , trust me I had one in another country when I was horny mid covid
This ones got more potential than that