First date in ooh 8 years come help me calm my nerves!

[DavidTennantsMistress]

so have a date on sunday afternoon/early evening. (was ment to be next week but he's asked for it to be brought forward) anyhow, it's only drinks in the pub, but i'm really really nervous. We 'met' online, have been talking since nov everyday (text/email/phone). he seems genuine, but now it's coming to it i'm really nervous, I mean what if he's a real edgit/thinks I am?

I know i'm early posting this but am out tomorrow night and won't be able to log on. and everything is feeling real now.

my exbf was a soldier and wouldnt have dreamed of talking to me like that the first time we met

it's no excuse

you might be used to that but you dont have to accept it anymore

I feel the same as Lou about this guy, DTM. Sorry The comment about your 'two best friends' made me very uncomfortable - its so crass amongst other things. Sounds like you could do loads better. Chalk this one up to experience

I thought you had got to know him quite well before you met and yet he said right are you off then after an hour..it sounds a bit odd

an hour isn't long is it?

the comparison bit and the discussion of othe rpeople is clumsy to say the least

at this point anyway...

i thin kyou need to concentrate on the one your with on a date and maintain the illusion that they are special not interview candidates

have you come to a decision yet?

yeah well have been talking to XH about it today - he's been ok actually rather surprising, he seems to think the fact I didn't ask for another drink would have made him think that I wasn't interested, and that you can normally tell within the first half hour (how long it too me to drink the drink) weather things will go from here. H's advice was to see what happens - but then again when I told him about the boobs comment he laughed hysterically and said that's classic that is

zippi - yes we did get to know each other well - as well as you can online. the fact I was sooooo nervous prob didn't help at all

on the plus side thou someone else contacted me yesterday who seems lovely (don't they all! lol) so will see how everything goes - not going to chase after him thou he know's my number - don't know why he would say ring me thou if he didn't want me to?? bloody men!

i'd still steer clear, also do you want to date a guy who has the same soh as your exh? he sounds like he is cut from a similar cloth

no quite there is that, to be fair thou the prob with H was never the humour etc it was the lack of communication with each other we always got on very well until we came here. Then he was never at home and we stopped talking. other bloke apart form that comment is the total opposite to XH.

but he keeps commenting on your tits

he just wants a shag

that's not what i'm about so off he goes!

well done

i don't think you can necessarily tell in the first half an hour

i could tell if i hated someone but not whether i would grow to like them

i think it's not always about instant fancying

and if you are getting people you fncy contacting you then ypou have plenty of choice

they absolutely don't all look nice ime lol

so I know for the future lol. this one wasn't like the others - ie straight in with the boobs/sex talk etc until after we'd met - so how can u tell online if that's what they're after?

true zip - so general view he's after 1 thing only - half of me thinks yes, the other half is still thinking give him one last chance (well he's not had any chances yet! lol)

maybe the next time (IF!) there's a next time we should do something different - play pool/pictures/dinner or something?

i think everyone behaves differently..he sounds a bit weird to me

it is different meeting someone you have just exchanged a few messages with and someone you have already gotto kmnow

your experience didn't seem to translate very well to real life for some reason

if you have already been in touch a lot i would have thought that you would have been able to lose the nerves after an hour or so

he sounds like a nob anyway like i said it's not about competing for him

it doesn't matter about anyone else you've met if you like each other

(I think that was more me than him tbh - he was relaxed from the off, but as this literally was the first person i've been on a date with since dating H - it was quite daunting for me (to the point of very nearly not even walking in the pub door! lol) I think next time would be better thou.) still he was a good guinea pig - have deleted all his contact info now & pics so now it's down to him I guess.

to me thou it would certainly take more than 1 date (no matter how long i'd been talking to him to decided if I liked him to stop talking/seeing others - am quite slow to make up my mind but then once I do i'm sure iycimw.)

(I think that was more me than him tbh - he was relaxed from the off, but as this literally was the first person i've been on a date with since dating H - it was quite daunting for me (to the point of very nearly not even walking in the pub door! lol) I think next time would be better thou.) still he was a good guinea pig - have deleted all his contact info now & pics so now it's down to him I guess.

to me thou it would certainly take more than 1 date (no matter how long i'd been talking to him to decided if I liked him to stop talking/seeing others - am quite slow to make up my mind but then once I do i'm sure iycimw.)

did he know this was the first date since your ex?

no. but I guess it showed told him after was really nervous but guess he gathered that.

you didnt mention it to him in convo before you met up?

nope not at all, didn't want to sound silly really - but I guess it was sillier to be so nervous not good around men who like me either - go all red, giggly and girlie unless i'm with my mates and then have more confidence.

you should have mentioned it, tho i am surprised it didnt come up in the convo beforehand

it sounds like he has done it before anyway, but regradless of that, if the only comment a guy could come up with after meeting me was about my tits, i'd be fucking him off

as well as a lack of respect it shows a lack of intelligence, and i cant be doing with either

i don't think i would have said or did say it was my first date..would have said before i went that iwas really nervous tho

but i can't actually remember what i did say and i have only seen two guys so shows what a crap memory i have

yeh but usually when you chat beforehand , you do chat asking if you have met anyone from the site , and how it went etc

tho having said that i generally dont remember what they said to me lol

didn't come up tbh, we'd spoken about others that we were talking to - I said about 4 (expecting him to say 5/6 or something at that point was talking to 4 but 3 of them were only new ones of a few weeks and he was the other) tbh he sounded quite shocked on the phone when I told him that, and said that he was only talking to 2 - didn't go into it anymore.

I know he has met others before - he split from his ex last year, so has been around for a while iycwim.

so back to square 1 - said to H I didn't like not knowing where I stand, but I guess until I move down there properly things are in the air anyhow, as realistically unless I go into town he can't come here (is an hour + drive each way, and if he's up for work early etc) then every w/e he's at home seeing his LO which is understandable.

lol @ your forward planning

slow down!