Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

This is utter bollocks. Why is this person on a dating app if they're too busy to actually date? Sod that for a game of soldiers.

Maybe the date wasnt as lovely as you think it was or maybe he has a wife taking up his time? Hard to know

He isn’t serious but wants to keep you hanging on so he can call you when he feels like it. I would just say “yeah ok” and be unavailable in future.

The idea of being busy with work and being an active individual in itself isn't bad, but I'd be a bit unsure because of the rambling. It just feels like it took him many more words to say what he needed to than necessary.

It means you will be his " booty call "

It sounds like he’s not interested but wants to keep you on the back burner just in case.

I’d take it to mean he’s being honest about the fact you won’t be seeing him very often. I personally wouldn’t like that, so I’d bin him.

Did' to' just have one o?
Ltb for that.

It depends what you want surely. He's telling you he likes you but he'll fit you in when he's not busy. It doesn't mean you'll be the bottom of the pile necessarily but you won't be the top. If you have a busy life too that might work and be a slow grower, if you want more mors quickly you need to duck out.

If you want to be with a guy who makes you feel like he's breadcrumbing you, stay.

It sounds quite hard work immediately after one date! I’m not sure id have the energy for this. One the other hand he may just being honest but the ‘oh what a busy exciting life I have’ message would irritate me.

@doyouwantachuffedybadge

This is utter bollocks. Why is this person on a dating app if they're too busy to actually date? Sod that for a game of soldiers.

I'd ask that question. I couldn't be bothered in being picked up and put down tbh. Who could unless they're they just want booty calls?

Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

Do you get a say in when you meet or are you supposed to wait for him to decide?

I would go back with a "thanks but no thanks I'm not hanging around"

Sounds like a load of old tosh, and he totally lost me at ‘life is full of adventure’ when he’s also saying the complete opposite

Yes, it was a really odd message! He’s divorced (or so he says). I don’t have time for a full on relationship but putting this out there so quickly killed my enthusiasm.

Yes not sure what to make of that
I’d be on your guard
I suppose the question is is that going to work for you?
If not - then I’d say sorry I’m not sure if that’s going to work for me

Or; if the idea of dating but not seeing each other very often doesn’t phase you and actually works for you if you’re busy too then just see how it goes

What an awful message. I wouldn't like this at all

I couldn't be arsed with this, he's priming you to tolerate him fucking you around. And he sounds terribly self-important. I'd probably not reply and move on.

I'd be ok with this. I also have a busy life. But only if plans were being made and stuck to - like book something in for 3 weeks tike and stick with it.

Ghost him

This is such tosh
"Sorry pal, I'm more than a window of opportunity"

@hassletassle

I couldn't be arsed with this, he's priming you to tolerate him fucking you around. And he sounds terribly self-important. I'd probably not reply and move on.

Yes was about to say. He comes across really full of himself!

It's one thing to say look I really like you but it's going to be hard to meet up for a bit, it's tax year end and I have the kids or whatever the issue is. But how message is odd.

I think it’s not impossible to take it at face value, but it means he wants to keep the person he dates at a distance and for them not to have expectations that he’ll prioritise time with them. Which I personally think is a pretty offputting start.

I’ve had so many shitty OLD experiences and his behavior was exemplary from when we matched to when we left the date. Think I’ll sack it.