Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

Give him a thumbs up emoji

I wouldn’t sack him off just yet. He could just be trying too hard to sound like he’s got a busy social life & lots of friends. Or, he could be being honest, he might be busy and can’t see you 3 times a week.

Stick around for a second date, if he likes you he will make time for you no matter how busy he is.

Surely a case of " when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"?

I would simply reply ..
Thank you for being explicit..going to take some time to consider your message..do exactly that while you date others 🙃

Wankiest message ever. He's basically saying he is far too busy and important to be able to prioritise you so don't expect anything from him. He will see you when it suits him.

I'm not surprised it's killed your enthusiasm. It's incredibly off putting. Please don't make yourself available at his beck and call.

So smug!

You’ve swerved an a*hole there!

Either married or he is priming you for not a real relationship and just a fuck buddy scenario.

No it's not reverse psychology. He's a prick. Most likely a married bored prick.

@Milomonster

Yes, it was a really odd message! He’s divorced (or so he says). I don’t have time for a full on relationship but putting this out there so quickly killed my enthusiasm.

Sounds like he's open to dating but has various activities here and there so may not always be able to book x date e.g. Weeks in advance , it's more catch up and see each other as and when possible etc.

He sounds an absolute pain. I would take it to mean I am hardly ever available so think yourself lucky when I am and lots of things will take priority over you. I have been completely honest so no moaning in future. He is a waste of space.

Never speak to him again purely for "align our schedules". What a twat.

I am looking for a casual relationship and not anything full on, YET I'd still meet that message with a thumbs up emoji and no further contact, who does he think he is?!

"Sorry baby, duty calls."

It seems like a weird message to send instead of simply seeing how things work out. You've met once and he should just be seeing how things go.

As you met him and enjoyed yourself I'd ignore a one off text. Arrange to meet in a week or so and see how it goes. That's just what I'd do anyway.

Drop him like a hot brick. He shouldn't be wasting people's time dating if he hasn't got time to see them and I would mention that to him when I let him know his schedule was a deal-breaker for me.

I'd just say:

Yes, totally understand re: the full life and it is indeed the same for me. Happy to wait and see if we manage to collide some time?!

... only because you too want a spasmodic set up with infrequent meetings. And he was very hot in person. So I guess if you don't have much time for a guy, then when you do have a moment, he needs to be, ahem, worth it 😉

Have to say though, his message was oddly wordy/almost anxious, and he couldn't have suggested he has a secret wife and family better if he'd tried 🤦‍♀️😅

@Couchpotato3

"Yeah, whatever. You seemed like a decent bloke on the date, but I haven't got time for this bollocks". Block and move on

This!!! Say this!!!

However impressive he was on the date, he's married, pompous, or both. I'd text back, "You lost me at 'windows of opportunity'," then block him.

Did you already have sex with him?

Nah sorry @ponchek even as a serial casual relationship person I'd never text "happy to wait". Know your worth! He ought to be delighted you have the time for drinks and sex even if it's just drinks and sex, not scheduling you in when he has time. Fuck him.

"All this message tells me is that you're self-important at best, still married at worst. Good luck with that, it was nice to meet you"

I'm going against the grain here.

If he was really great in person, maybe he's just got a really awkward message style. It's off-putting, but I think I'd be tempted to wait and see - can he actually arrange to meet up again, does he stick to it and do you enjoy his company in person? If so, then perhaps you could forgive him this strange message.

Perhaps an "ok, let me know some dates when you're free to meet up and I'll check my calendar".

@D0lphine

I think he is married...

Agree.

Married or pompous and I’d just throw him back. Not sure I’d even write a response

@Inthemane - that's really spooky. I have a friend who you've described almost to a T.

Somehow he still found time to date, met someone new, and get married again.

I reckon this guy is trying to cover that he has someone else, whether wife or girlfriend. No one says"nothing" is happening at the weekend, when they've got all that going on, and then tries to clip your wings.