Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

@daisychain01

How about a bit of obtuse sarcasm:

"Right you are then".

Haha I love it

He was very down-to earth, funny, charming, beautiful manners, and absolutely gorgeous. There was nothing pompous about him at all. I don’t think the message reflects how he was in person. That’s what baffles me.

Hook, line and sinker. Except you didn’t bite

If it's Putin do us all a favour and at least try and get him on a second date so you can poison the fucker?

Bu-bye 👋

@hassletassle

I couldn't be arsed with this, he's priming you to tolerate him fucking you around. And he sounds terribly self-important. I'd probably not reply and move on.

This

He will be willing to fit you in when he wants a shag but won't be putting enough effort in for a fulfilling proper relationship..

I am ancient (well I feel it today) and have dated all sorts of men. I will attempt to translate...he is saying he is busy, you are not his priority, he may like sex with you when he can fit you into his very important life...and you should be grateful and understanding because he is 'cool' and so should you be...run, and fast. Nice men out there...

Sorry but the way I read that is that he wasn’t as keen on you and doesn’t want to take it further. That’s his way of gently letting you down.

Bin.
Not worth the time of day, or the time at the end of the day, or the time after that, or next.....

Did he really say 'varied friends'?

He’s been watching too much MAFS - that kind of word salad is what they come out with.

Bin the tosser - you’re too busy to put up with that nonsense.

"So does that mean you'll be hard to see again?" is what I'd send back.
Too much speculation, just ask him what he means.

Not sure I'd respond at all. I'd be thinking about it but leave it for a week or so. If you're too busy as well, is it so bad that he's looking for something very low key? Why not just see how you feel.

What was he asking for on his profile? Casual dating or a relationship? If he ticked the casual dating box then he hasn't done anything wrong. If he ticked the looking for a relationship box then he's a dick!

Yeah you have officially been breadcrumbed. He is telling you who he is and that his lifestyle may not suit you, and others have not accepted his ways so he is making light of it, or more like saying his friends do

@MayorMargeret

Did he really say 'varied friends'?

Yup.

Varied friends = He'll be fucking other women

Hmm. It's funny, because you could mull this over, meet someone tomorrow morning on the way to work, be invited out with him for a quick drink at 6, then a Sunday morning walk, and all before Mr I Love Myself has given you a second thought. My fiance took me from a foolish time waster. He was in and making me smile after only a few days.

I also thought that message smacks of 'I'm not ready.' Well, message received xx

OP said she doesn't want a "full on relationship" either. Maybe they are on same wavelength.

Wonder if he sends that after every date?
More than likely! It's having his cake and eating it.

I think his message is deserving of a fitting reply.

"Kk hun" should do it.

What a boring man he is op!

Sorry but I think this has been over analysed .
I would typically write the same thing if I was single still .
Have a demanding work/ life balance / children are a priority / adventures are important to me .
If you're still interested maybe we'll fit .
I wouldn't have time now for anything apart from someone that fit I admire his honestly .
If you don't like it and want daily affirmations of how much he's into you it's not for you end of.

Run. He's not that into you. If he was, he would make time and he wouldn't dream of sending you that message.
PS He sounds like a pompous, self important tosser.

It reads like a copy and paste message he is sending to everyone he is dating so no one expects too much of him and he can juggle multiple women at the same time without the women noticing.
And yes, full of self importance and without even a hint of doubt that you are keen.
Ug.
I’m not a fan of ghosting but it did make me laugh when suggested unthread as maybe you are just TO (O) BUSY to reply to him.

If only he could of explained that before the date! never mind, carry on your search

@NewDayNewLife

The idea of being busy with work and being an active individual in itself isn't bad, but I'd be a bit unsure because of the rambling. It just feels like it took him many more words to say what he needed to than necessary.

Crikey, what a weird reason to be wary of someone. IMHO anyway.