Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

Ugh, he is being exhausting before it's even off the ground. You can do better OP xx

@livyaz

This is such tosh "Sorry pal, I'm more than a window of opportunity"

This - just this!

@toastfiend

What a pompous way of telling you that he's going to be an inflexible nightmare who never prioritises seeing you.

I'd be chucking him back, OP, not least because I couldn't be arsed reading that kind of waffle every time he wanted to explain to me why I was bottom of his list of priorities.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Literally screwed my nose up when I read the messages. It's not really what he's saying but it's weird arsed way of saying it. So pompous.

Personally I'd be off like a shot, if only never to receive such a bizarre message again from him

What a load of waffle. I'd reply "TLDR" to his message and then move on.

I don't think he thinks you are the best thing that ever happened to him. Bear that in mind as you decide whether to proceed.

It's a really weird message but it also sounds as though he thinks he's being clear. Since you thought the rest of him was ok I might msg back saying 'Sorry, can't quite get to the bottom of what you're saying here - is it that you don't have time (or just don't want) to have a relationship?'

I reckon he's married.

He wants a bootybcall or he has a girlfriend. He's setting low expectations it's a red flag if he was really into you , he wouldn't say this..

@Thatsplentyjack

Just text back "ok"

Too verbose. Just “k”

Lol @stuntbubbles

God, typical bullshit. I used to get sucked in to assholes' ag3ndas.

Id reply back "oh yeh, we're not on the page, good luck".

It's a deliberately vague distancing message i think so ... dont let the great date make you overlook this vague distancing relegation.

Don't reply for at least a week. Then "oh sorry I didn't reply sooner, been mega busy". Don't actually respond to what he said.

I would ignore that message and see if he follows up a couple of times. If so, just reply briefly saying you would love to meet again but really busy right now. Breadcrumb back.

Actually, "ok" is perfect.

He's probably dying for a response that will stroke his ego

IDK, you know. If he's the first guy you've had a connection with so far, it seems silly to knock it on the head just from one waffly text without any further investigation or attempt at clarification.

Why not just reply and ask what he means? If you're thinking of dumping him anyway, you've nothing to lose.

I definitely don’t need daily affirmations and I don’t have time to see someone 3 times a week. We are both divorced and have kids. It’s just odd to make such a declaration the day after meeting someone. The funny thing is when I asked on the date what he had planned for the weekend, he said he had nothing planned. I told him I had a play, dinner, exhibition, a movie, friends planned. I dunno - it’d weird. Maybe he’s worried I’m too interesting and busy for him, and threw a bit of reverse psychology into the pot.

He sounds like a self important twat. Bin him.

Arsehole warning.

Anyone who tells you in advance you'll be prioritized behind 'various friends' is a twat.

Don't care how good the date was, this message is hideous. Don't waste your time.

He is trying to set the tone on his terms from the start. Entitled mysogynist on a power trip much? What a loser.

Would you send this if you were a genuinely nice person who was excited about a new person you had just met? No. If free time was an issue - and it is for many - you figure it out as you go along and talk about it together as adults and as equals. You barely know each other. What a twat! That message is so irritating, it's like something out of a book called 'The Game'. I dated a guy a bit like this once and bolted when I saw this on his bookshelf...negging bastards are ten a penny. You can do better OP.

Even if he is a neurosurgeon with six kids who is a volunteer lifeboat rescuer it would still be a really weird message.

I think he has a wife too. The “windows of opportunity” gives it away!

Couldn’t be bothered with this shit

"Yeah, whatever. You seemed like a decent bloke on the date, but I haven't got time for this bollocks". Block and move on

Managing your expectations nicely, isn't he op? If you "pass his test" he will know that you are a walkover and willing to be grateful for any crumbs that he condescends to pass your way. Block and move on.