Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

@NewDayNewLife

The idea of being busy with work and being an active individual in itself isn't bad, but I'd be a bit unsure because of the rambling. It just feels like it took him many more words to say what he needed to than necessary.

Indeed. And if you were genuine you would have that conversation in person, not a carefully constructed text message.

Don't reply for at least a week. Then "oh sorry I didn't reply sooner, been mega busy". Don't actually respond to what he said.

Good one.

@Milomonster

Yes, it was a really odd message! He’s divorced (or so he says). I don’t have time for a full on relationship but putting this out there so quickly killed my enthusiasm.

Yeh, it's not like you were looking to meet up the very n3xt night.

If he is really busy, but really wants to give things a chance, he"d try not to lose you by announcing so clearly that he's hardly ever available.

Send him this:
"OK. Well,

There
We
Are
Then"

He sounds like a dick. I'd run a mile. Please don't waste your time with someone who clearly doesn't view you as a priority, life's too short.

Sounds like a duck, a wannabe James Bond. He wants an easy shag when it suits him.

Waffley, cheese, self important .....

Aside from that, the absolute best, nicest possible interpretation I could put on this is that he previously encountered relatively demanding, possiblh needy partners who wanted regular contact, were full on, wanted ad hoc plans etc and ot stressed him out/he couldn't easily give them that much contact.

But that's being very kind to him indeed.

So basically he is saying "I'm interested in dating you when it is convenient for me". But I guess props for being honest...?

I'd be tempted to answer with thumbs up. However, if op in interested in going on a date on occasion then why not. Just keeping him in the back-burner when it's convenient for you.

Whatever you do … do not respond to that self important idiot !
Do not feed that ego please …
Ignore , and ignore any next message .. if he messages a 3rd time say sorry you’ve just been so busy ..

Really OP - you don’t have time for that

He's basically telling you not to expect too much of his time and you will come way down his list of priorities.
Now if you are happy to be fitted in then go for it. But if your looking for a relationship then this sounds like a nonstarter. He's not willing to invest in a relationship, he just wants something casual to slot in with his life when he can be arsed/doesn't have something better to do.

He sounds like a contestant from The Apprentice. In the bin!

Omg Perfect! The antithesis of his cryptic flowery come what may if you are patient nonsense.

Mn-ers come up with such great replies!

Yup, "windows of opportunity" sounds like he's embarking on an affair.

Whereas "aligning schedules" sounds like planning a business meeting.

Very off-putting overall.

Turn it into an like an lucky escape for you.

He is being honest and upfront, l don't see the problem myself. It sounds as though he has had needy girlfriends in the past that have given him a hard time. There is nothing worse than feeling suffocated, esp when you already have alot of other commitments. If this puts you off then he's not for you. l really value a man who is very independant, because thats exactly how l am too.

Haven't RTFT but it's obvious he has written that diatribe many times before.

He wants to keep you casual, at best.

The date went well as he's good at it!

How can any one write "windows of opportunity" with a straight face? I would say it is the mark of a wanker.

*cheesy

Cheers for the heads up! I'll find someone with a little more time to socialise. Good luck!"

^ this

But I’d add in

Thanks for for being so honest and giving me the heads up, I appreciate your honesty and as I’m looking for someone that has a bit more time for socialising at least we can go our separate ways & find what suits us both. Good luck with your search

See I wouldn't let one odd message put you off if date went well. I'd give him another couple of dates. He could be pompous or could be that he is serious about dating and doesnt want to waste your time.

He’s not interested.. possibly only in sex on his terms. I’m sure you have a busy life with kids, friends and activities. You didn’t feel the need to warn him he wouldn’t get a look in. You need to not see him

It would be a no from me. I don't believe you will be a priority and merely there when it suits him.

He wants you to be "on call" for him. In 3 months time he'll send a message and expect you to be free for a shag that night. He won't openly say it, but it'll happen and then it'll be another how many weeks of him leading you on before you see him again

Or I'm too cynical

Bin him. You deserve more.

I think he is married...