Would you date a 53 year old if you were 35?

[Clamchowder07]

Matched with someone on tinder. Have got on very well so far.. He was very upfront about his age.
I'm wondering if it's too much of a gap? Conversation has been good and free flowing. Are there more cons to pros with a significant age gap?

I would go for it.

I wouldn't look to advancing a relationship with that age gap personally.

Yes if he was younger at heart. I usually go for younger men and am married to one but I have dated older by about 15 years. One was boring and stuck in his ways and one was on the same wavelength as me so I think it depends on the person.

I think it can be hard to tell if he's a really good person or if he's just behaving like a good person because you're too young for him.

No way.

Too big a gap.

No.

Yes

I would, but from reading MN threads it seems like some bigger age gap relationships can struggle later because people are just at very different life stages.

I'd be really annoyed by having to go to work every day while my partner was retired 🤣.

I wouldn't and my dh is 50, so I know 50 yo can be great, but I'm older. If I was only 35 I wouldn't date someone that much older. That doesn't mean no one should. If you've already had dc and don't want any more then maybe you'd be in a better position to contemplate it. I know plenty of couples work with that age gap, but it wouldn't be for me.

I have a 25 age gap with my DH. We've been together 15 years, married for 10 and have just had our second baby. Couldn't be happier.

What is bothering you about it? What people think? The future being bleak?

I'm not one for an age gap myself so wouldn't, but it should be far more about life stages and goals than age exactly. If you've got the same plans and approach to life, it could be great.

I loved dating in my 50s mainly because all the men I met were infinitely better in bed than they would have been 30 years ago (I'm sure the same was true of me). But there were sexual issues that took a bit of getting used to. Again it depends on your own timing and needs.

No.
It would be fine now but in 20 years time you would be at very different life stages.

@HumptySumptious

I would, but from reading MN threads it seems like some bigger age gap relationships can struggle later because people are just at very different life stages.

I'd be really annoyed by having to go to work every day while my partner was retired 🤣.

Lol this made me laugh 🤣

No, but that doesn't mean nobody should. If the age as a number is genuinely the only thing against him you could go on a first date with all the usual caveats for first dates with someone you don't know and see if you're compatible... Go into it assuming it'll just be one date and you won't want to see him again and see whether he proves you wrong.

That's assuming that you don't want children/ more children; if you do I'd say don't even start dating someone more than a few years older than you.

Nope, but my job influences my opinion here. I’m a community support worker and approx 85% of my clients are widowed women who have lost husbands of a similar age. Men tend to go first and my job is mainly supporting women who have severely mentally declined due to losing their husbands, it frightens the life out of me thinking that I could end up like that. I’d go for 20 years younger than 20 years older.

I think it's the fact we're both at different life stages.. He has 3 kids and his eldest is 7 years younger than me which puts into perspective...
I don't want more children and neither does he😂 so we're good on that front.

No, 10 years is my maximum.

@bigbeautifulweirdo

I have a 25 age gap with my DH. We've been together 15 years, married for 10 and have just had our second baby. Couldn't be happier.

What is bothering you about it? What people think? The future being bleak?

Does it not bother you that when you are 50 he will 75? T

2 of my friends, she is 38, her husband is 60, and the other couple she is 42, he is 59, both in rock solid marriages and been together years. Age is nothing but a number.

No, way too big age gap. Are there really no men closer to your age - max 7 years either side of your age?

Im 35 and my oh is 56, we have been together for 4 years.
We are happy, we have similar interests and hobbies and alot in common.
I don't see the issue, if your both happy and getting along and want the same things, why not?

It could be ok, but depends on what you are looking for. A long term relationship with that age gap could be problematic. When you are 50, he would be a pensioner. If you had kids with him, he would be a very mature father. Also, I would check him out on video conference first as he may have been creative with his age...OLD is known for shaving the years off.

He most definitely won't be fathering any more children in his mid 50s.

I must say I'm 47 and definitely would not want to be in a relationship with a 65 year old - that sounds worse than 35 and 53.

He'll be 71 when you're 53. The age gap is more palatable when you're the ages you are than it will be later.

I wonder if he'd go on a date with a 71 year old tomorrow?

I'm 36, I'd see what happens, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.