Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you date a 53 year old if you were 35?

186 replies

Clamchowder07 · 08/03/2022 21:35

Matched with someone on tinder. Have got on very well so far.. He was very upfront about his age.
I'm wondering if it's too much of a gap? Conversation has been good and free flowing. Are there more cons to pros with a significant age gap?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 08/03/2022 22:29

No because of the future issues that have already been mentioned.

Sex become hard work
Ending up their carer

Thewindwhispers · 08/03/2022 22:29

Nope.

Changemaname1 · 08/03/2022 22:30

No, iv had a relationship with this age gap and now look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking .

Clamchowder07 · 08/03/2022 22:31

I think Pp has basically hit the nail on the head. There's probably so many other men out there in the age bracket I usually go for. Although he's pleasant and seemingly attractive in his photos, the age difference will definitely become apparent after the honey moon period has ended.. I think I could definitely foresee that.

OP posts:
seriousandloyal · 08/03/2022 22:31

Definitely not

Obira · 08/03/2022 22:31

He would have to be super hot for me to overlook that age gap. If he was Hugh Jackman then maybe. Otherwise it would be a no from me.

Infinitemoon · 08/03/2022 22:32

Grin I second Obira.

Hawkins001 · 08/03/2022 22:33

@Clamchowder07

Matched with someone on tinder. Have got on very well so far.. He was very upfront about his age. I'm wondering if it's too much of a gap? Conversation has been good and free flowing. Are there more cons to pros with a significant age gap?
In my past I've had some mature older ladies intrigued with me, all the best op
SwedishEdith · 08/03/2022 22:33

@Changemaname1

No, iv had a relationship with this age gap and now look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking .
Same. It's fine when the older one is still in 40s or 50s. After that, the gap really shows.
Feetupteashot · 08/03/2022 22:33

Nope

Appliancedesparation · 08/03/2022 22:33

No, definitely not of you're looking for long term, the differences will start to become apparent more as you age.

I wonder if he'd go on a date with a 71 year old great point!

Hawkins001 · 08/03/2022 22:34

@Clamchowder07

I think Pp has basically hit the nail on the head. There's probably so many other men out there in the age bracket I usually go for. Although he's pleasant and seemingly attractive in his photos, the age difference will definitely become apparent after the honey moon period has ended.. I think I could definitely foresee that.
Is it a causal arrangements, or a serious relationship that's being planned ?
AthenaPopodopolous · 08/03/2022 22:34

Don’t do it! Waste of time and they’re old AF.

AngelinaFibres · 08/03/2022 22:35

@Clamchowder07

I think it is future prospects that put me off. When I'm 53, he'll be approaching 70 odd, I just think of that and it makes me think twice.
By the time you are 65 and enjoying being an active and fun granny he will be a knackered 80 something who wants peace and quiet. You will be young enough to travel anywhere in the world without much of a problem ( health allowing). My mum is 82 and still healthy but getting travel insurance is proving very, very difficult and expensive.
Clamchowder07 · 08/03/2022 22:35

@AthenaPopodopolous

Don’t do it! Waste of time and they’re old AF.
🤣🤣🤣
OP posts:
Bromse · 08/03/2022 22:38

It depends what you want. A large age gap wouldn't bother me if I liked (and fancied) someone. If I was looking for someone with whom to set up home and have children, I'd think differently.

Nomorefuckstogive · 08/03/2022 22:40

Yes, if I really liked him IRL. Definitely worth a few dates to see if he’s good company and you’re attracted to him.

Neenawneenaw76 · 08/03/2022 22:41

No, he'll be retiring when you're in your prime, completely different life stages.

TheWestIsTheBest · 08/03/2022 22:42

Not a chance. I'm 52 and wouldn't be interested in a 35 year old, so as a 35 year old I certainly wouldn't be interested in a 52 year old.

Mossstitch · 08/03/2022 22:42

Definitely not, men get old faster than women and will restrict your life as they get older (voice of experience😳)

Andacherryonthetop · 08/03/2022 22:43

I’m 35 and my mum is 53 so no. I realise my mum had me young but still would feel too much of a gap

GlamGiraffe · 08/03/2022 22:45

DH and i have a 21 year age gap. We've been together for 21 years.
From my point of view the age really is irrelevant. If you find your perfect partner, i cant see why their age might be an issue any more than the colour of their eyes.

D0lphine · 08/03/2022 22:46

Personally I wouldn't.

I don't necessarily think 20 years makes much difference when you're 35 and 55, but when he is 70 and you're 50 the difference will be marked.

QueenCamilla · 08/03/2022 22:46

I am 35. My ex-husband is 54 now.

When I'm on Tinder these days my absolute limit is 41. And even then it would feel like I'm short-changing myself!

RaininSummer · 08/03/2022 22:47

Definitely not. I am in my 50s and I find most men of 55 seem quite old myself so at 35 it would be even worse.