Name changed here as outing if you know me and the situation.
Was in a long term relationship, foolishly cheated on partner so ended the relationship. A year later I got into a relationship with the man I had the affair with. Years later, we’re married and have two children.
I haven’t seen my ex in years, but one of my friends boyfriends still see him regularly. Meaning my friend does as well.
My ex is getting married this year, which I have absolutely no issues with. My friend and her boyfriend are going, again no issues with this. Tonight another friends husband told me he had an evening invite to the wedding, I was a bit surprised as whilst they saw each other loads as a group when we were together they’ve seen each other twice in the last 8 years. After the initial surprise, I really am fine with it.
What did bother me though was his wife, my best friend, thinking about going. She started off saying, she didn’t like weddings and probably wasn’t going to go, to realising our other friend was going to be there and then basically making plans to go.
I still see my best friend frequently but she will not go on nights out anymore as she doesn’t like drinking. So it bothered me a bit that she’s suddenly up for this wedding, which will involve heavy drinking.
I just tried to speak to my DH about how that made me feel and he just lost it at me.
Apparently, it shouldn’t bother me at all that my friend was going along to a wedding with her husband. Apparently I shouldn’t have spoken to him about my feelings and if anything I should be trying to reassure him.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t see it from the angle that she’s going to support her husband. I’m not convinced that is why she’s going. I also am genuinely not bothered this he is getting married, otherwise I wouldn’t have been mentioning anything would I?
I don’t know how to handle this with my dh now, especially as he announced he has never gotten over the fact I cheated. Surely, I don’t still deserve to be punished for that all these years later?!