If your parter was bisexual would it bother you?

[RedRobyn2021]

I'm watching the love is blind on Netflix and one of the people participating has been with both men and women, but has decided he wants to be with a woman and has gone on the show

Anyway it got me thinking and would a man being bisexual put you off him?

I used to have a boyfriend who I knew had kissed other men when drunk a few times

He was AMAZING in bed, absolutely gorgeous and I fell in love with him quickly, it never even occurred to me to be bothered that he'd kissed men. Although he hadn't had sex with a man as far as he told me, so perhaps that different?

Interested to hear others thoughts

[quote bluesberry]@youvegottenminuteslynn

My tone is because I was asking genuine questions and got attacked by that poster and you then jumped in making the same points as her![/quote]
Sorry that I had the same opinion as other posters...

I didn't attack you, I asked a question and shared my thoughts. It's a discussion forum.

I'm off to sleep now anyway so I'll leave you to it.

[quote DoreenBoland]@ChickenStripper, you’re so right, I didn’t address this. I appreciate the honesty here, it makes total sense.

Being put off by people being into things we’re not is a huge part of the human experience.[/quote]
but she has basically said the same thing as other posters who you have badgered - hopefully that's not because they are heterosexual.

My DP being bisexual wouldn’t bother me. I have never dated one but I do wonder how you’d deal with certain problems that arise. Eg if my DP was spending lots of time with a woman, even if he just swore they were friends I know I wouldn’t be happy with it. Would the same apply to a male friendship or only if it was a friendship with a gay/bisexual man?

I’d never want to be controlling but I know firmly where my boundaries are with a heterosexual partner. I don’t know where they would be with a bisexual one without seeming to be controlling!

I'd be a hypocrit if I found it problematic.

@youvegottenminuteslynn
I didn't say you attacked me.
I didn't attack you either but you made out that I did!
The hypocrisy from that poster was extremely obvious but you chose to ignore that and pick on my posts, tone and exclamation marks!

Sleep well!!

I am older and have not actually met anyone who has openly stated they were bisexual, I don't know any bisexual people.

I know many gay people, I have children who are gay, I know they would not go into a relationship if they found out they were bisexual.

I do find it strange that bisexual people become offended if straight or homosexual people do not wish to be in a relationship with them.
Just as any bisexual person has the right to chose just to be only in relationships with other bisexual people.

Just as I know my male gay friends would have never wanted me, nor I them, to state any choice should not be offensive. It obviously matters to people that they keep to the perimiters of what they want in a partner in both mind and body

Hope I've not offended anyone, it seems impossible sometimes with these subjects not to.

Im just simply not attracted to men that are attracted to men.

I like heterosexual men.

This is very interesting... I am heterosexual and been with my male partner 15 years and Have 3 children together. If he came out and said he was attracted to men then believe Me I'll be leaving him. I see it as our relationship was a lie and that he was never attracted to me.
I wouldn't be attracted a man who has kissed or made out with a man.

Im a straight man who only likes straight women, I don't care if I get called biphobic for it. It seems that many bisexual women are more sexually attracted to women as well so I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a woman like that

Are there problems within the bisexual comunity, whereby they will only have relationships with other bisexual people?

So if a bisexual person was to date a straight or gay person and they found out they indeed were not bisexual does this cause problems.

Preferences come in many different ways with sexuality, I really don't understand the offence, regarding sex with others, everybody is trying to find what they need and want in a partner.

I do believe there is biphobia, just as there is homophobia, it does exist.

Maybe there should be more openness in society regarding bisexuality, more information, more understanding more community.

@Ohwowhoho

My DP being bisexual wouldn’t bother me. I have never dated one but I do wonder how you’d deal with certain problems that arise. Eg if my DP was spending lots of time with a woman, even if he just swore they were friends I know I wouldn’t be happy with it. Would the same apply to a male friendship or only if it was a friendship with a gay/bisexual man?

I’d never want to be controlling but I know firmly where my boundaries are with a heterosexual partner. I don’t know where they would be with a bisexual one without seeming to be controlling!

Yes, I think it would be the same in my relationship, @Ohwowhoho. My DH and I has always accepted that we both have our own friends, as well as mutual friends, but I know that he’s more comfortable when I hang out alone with a female friend than a male friend (a mixed group doesn’t bother him), because I’m not attracted to women. I also feel less comfortable if he spends alot of time alone with another woman!

It’s irrational, of course, but sexual jealousy isn’t rational and perhaps it could be harder difficult to avoid with a bisexual partner? I honestly don't know, but personally I think I’d have jealousy issues with a bisexual partner.

And before anyone says that means I have trust issues, yes, I’ve always had a suspicious mind and it’s served me very well to show abit of jealousy! It’s very flattering to know that you’re wanted.

Anyone who leans towards being submissive or feminine isn’t for me, and that’s more common among bisexual men.

Ah, you’re that type of biphobe.

I would prefer it, because I'm bisexual and bi men (and women) are less likely to be shitty biphobes, but DH is straight and also not biphobic, so it's not a requirement. Basically, I only want to be in a relationship with someone who trusts me and thinks I'm great and this thread shows that plenty of monosexuals wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't care at all. Doesn't mean he's anymore likely to cheat if he's with me.

@Wedonttalkabout

Lots of people don't believe that bisexuality exists especially in the case of men.

That's lots of homophobic cultural stuff about men with a same sex histories, people feel it makes them un manly, somehow more femine, tainted and a bit dirty

Oddly it doesn't work in reverse for bisexuality women usually

I think it’s the nail on the head, for women to seen as bi is somehow cool and trendy, but for men it’s still seen as a very negative thing to be somehow looked down on. Very clear social double standard.

I wouldn't knowingly have a relationship with somebody who is bi. Likewise my SIL is a lesbian and wouldn't date a bisexual woman. It's not biphobic. I don't make any assumptions about anybody who is bi, don't think they should be limited in any sphere other than a sexual relationship with me. It simply is a sexual preference. My vagina is not an equal opportunities playground.

@JustAnotherCrack

The thing is lesbians don’t…. They may insist they are lesbians but biologically if they are shagging males, they are not.

@JustAnotherCrack - I agree with you here! My ex best friend who’s now a lesbian was the biggest flirt, had loads of boyfriends when she was straight. So even now she now calls herself a lesbian id say she’s bisexual. I think she’d even agree. She’s admitted to me she would like straight sex (presumably not just with a dildo by her fiancée) and has done group sex in the past with men and women. Sadly when she mentioned the latter it was when I was in a car with her and I really didn’t want to hear about it, she seems to say things for shock value though so…

@Wedonttalkabout

Lots of people don't believe that bisexuality exists especially in the case of men.

That's lots of homophobic cultural stuff about men with a same sex histories, people feel it makes them un manly, somehow more femine, tainted and a bit dirty

Oddly it doesn't work in reverse for bisexuality women usually

It does if you are a woman dating women. I've had plenty of comments from some lesbians about bisexual women being dirty/tainted and not sufficiently woman-centred.

@Simonjt

Anyone who leans towards being submissive or feminine isn’t for me, and that’s more common among bisexual men.

Ah, you’re that type of biphobe.

@Simonjt - are you calling people biphobes simply because they don’t agree with/like the idea of bisexual sex etc?

Personally this thread has made me question my beliefs and if I am biphobic so I think I might read a bit around this to educate myself which can only be a good thing.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I’m bisexual, and have had heterosexual, bisexual, and lesbian partners.

@DaisyWaldron I’ve heard the exact same thing from lesbians re bisexual women which is why my ex best friend calls herself a lesbian when she’s technically not.

I met a few lesbians who’d been married, had kids etc and strangely one woman who’d been married and had kids, had lesbian relationships and then in her early 40s married again. One reason she gave for her second marriage was she found some lesbians bitchy and gossipy and also couldn’t cope with hormonal mood swings! But same could be said re hormones re men I guess.