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Original poster

If your parter was bisexual would it bother you?

275 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 05/03/2022 20:17

I'm watching the love is blind on Netflix and one of the people participating has been with both men and women, but has decided he wants to be with a woman and has gone on the show

Anyway it got me thinking and would a man being bisexual put you off him?

I used to have a boyfriend who I knew had kissed other men when drunk a few times

He was AMAZING in bed, absolutely gorgeous and I fell in love with him quickly, it never even occurred to me to be bothered that he'd kissed men. Although he hadn't had sex with a man as far as he told me, so perhaps that different?

Interested to hear others thoughts

OP posts:
Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 05/03/2022 21:03

@lulabellz123

That would deffo be a problem for me. No way can I be with a man who has had sexual relations/attractions to another man. I know my partner would be attracted to other people naturally but for me consciously be aware that he could be with another man would make me feel uncomfortable. I think most men wouldn't mind though if their female partner was bisexual.
Ok so if Tom Hardy had snogged a bloke... he'd firmly be in the no pile forever more?
OP posts:
lulabellz123 · 05/03/2022 21:05

@DoreenBoland I am not homophobic in the slightest. Everyone should be able to choose their partners and do as they wish whether they gay or bi. But for me, the best way to explain it is that I am heterosexual so I would want my partner to also be heterosexual. If he is attracted to other men whilst being with me, a woman, that would make me feel uncomfortable if I was aware of it. If he was attracted to another woman and I was aware of it would also make me feel uncomfortable but I wouldn't question his whole sexuality eg. Would he rather be with a man than me

DoreenBoland · 05/03/2022 21:05

I’m sorry if I come across as goady, I promise I’m not. This is just so interesting.

DoreenBoland · 05/03/2022 21:06

[quote lulabellz123]@DoreenBoland I am not homophobic in the slightest. Everyone should be able to choose their partners and do as they wish whether they gay or bi. But for me, the best way to explain it is that I am heterosexual so I would want my partner to also be heterosexual. If he is attracted to other men whilst being with me, a woman, that would make me feel uncomfortable if I was aware of it. If he was attracted to another woman and I was aware of it would also make me feel uncomfortable but I wouldn't question his whole sexuality eg. Would he rather be with a man than me[/quote]
But do you also worry that he might be attracted to loads of other women? I promise I totally believe you’re not homophobic, and I’m so sorry if I seemed aggressive, I really am just trying to understand.

Daydreamsinsantafe · 05/03/2022 21:08

No I wouldn’t stay attracted to a bisexual man. I say stay because I wouldn’t know until he told me and at that point on wouldn’t be anymore just as if I found out he was a relation or something.
I also wouldn’t be attracted to a man who had had sexual contact with/was attracted to a certain type of woman either.
Sexual attraction is primal. The one thing that is fine whatever it means for you, Sex, race, height, weight etc. It’s all fine & no one can be forced to be aroused by anything or anyone.

DoreenBoland · 05/03/2022 21:12

@Daydreamsinsantafe

No I wouldn’t stay attracted to a bisexual man. I say stay because I wouldn’t know until he told me and at that point on wouldn’t be anymore just as if I found out he was a relation or something. I also wouldn’t be attracted to a man who had had sexual contact with/was attracted to a certain type of woman either. Sexual attraction is primal. The one thing that is fine whatever it means for you, Sex, race, height, weight etc. It’s all fine & no one can be forced to be aroused by anything or anyone.
I get all the things you’re saying - they’re physical attributes and absolutely make a difference to attraction. But bisexuality isn’t. What specifically about it would put you off?
lulabellz123 · 05/03/2022 21:12

@DoreenBoland yeah off course I think most women don't jump for joy knowing their man is probably attracted to other women and I think 99.9% of men in relationships would be physically attracted to another woman whether that's a woman they see once walking down the street or their neighbour. If I knew my man was attracted to let's say a teacher during a parents evening for our kid, I would feel abit jealous/uncomfortable but wouldn't say anything because as long as he doesn't act on it I know it's natural. Only way to stop him is if I gauge his eyes out (joke). But as a heterosexual female if I was aware that my man (whom I think is also heterosexual) was attracted to other men ASWELL that would make me question his sexuality and identify

cunningartificer · 05/03/2022 21:13

I agree that my main concern would be whether they were attracted to me! Once the relationship is there, who else they might fancy is by the way... Fidelity is important to me, not sexuality.

DoreenBoland · 05/03/2022 21:14

[quote lulabellz123]@DoreenBoland yeah off course I think most women don't jump for joy knowing their man is probably attracted to other women and I think 99.9% of men in relationships would be physically attracted to another woman whether that's a woman they see once walking down the street or their neighbour. If I knew my man was attracted to let's say a teacher during a parents evening for our kid, I would feel abit jealous/uncomfortable but wouldn't say anything because as long as he doesn't act on it I know it's natural. Only way to stop him is if I gauge his eyes out (joke). But as a heterosexual female if I was aware that my man (whom I think is also heterosexual) was attracted to other men ASWELL that would make me question his sexuality and identify [/quote]
Thank you so much for answering so truthfully. I appreciate you engaging with my questions.

MonkeyPuddle · 05/03/2022 21:16

Wouldn’t bother me. I’m a bisexual female and am engaged to a male. I have been in a civil partnership with a woman which was dissolved several years ago.

I am attracted to men and women. That’s all it comes down too. DP is heterosexual. We have chosen to be loyal to each other.

lulabellz123 · 05/03/2022 21:17

Tbh I don't think there's a right of wrong answer here I think it's all comes down to personal preferences and personal insecurities as well. Some women would be ok with their man being bisexual and some women can't even stand the thought of their man being attracted to another female even if it's just a single look. Everyone's different and will justify it in different ways. Main thing is that as long as you are AWARE of your partners sexuality and your happy to accept it then that's all that matters happy days

MonkeyPuddle · 05/03/2022 21:17

But these threads always come down to bisexual = untrustworthy.

Nah mate. Just cos I have more choose doesn’t mean I’m going to sample all the buffet.

MonkeyPuddle · 05/03/2022 21:18

*choice

Momijin · 05/03/2022 21:19

I think it would affect my attraction to them, yes. I don't know why, but it probably wouldn't. I don't know though as have never knowingly been with a bisexual man.

JustAnotherCrack · 05/03/2022 21:19

I’m a lesbian and would rather avoid relationships with bisexual women, it’s not bi phobia or a fear they will cheat, I just find male attraction a big turn off, I can’t relate to it.

Wedonttalkabout · 05/03/2022 21:20

Lots of people don't believe that bisexuality exists especially in the case of men.

That's lots of homophobic cultural stuff about men with a same sex histories, people feel it makes them un manly, somehow more femine, tainted and a bit dirty

Oddly it doesn't work in reverse for bisexuality women usually

DoreenBoland · 05/03/2022 21:20

@MonkeyPuddle

But these threads always come down to bisexual = untrustworthy.

Nah mate. Just cos I have more choose doesn’t mean I’m going to sample all the buffet.

I think this is such an interesting point. Is there this fear that bisexual men are more likely to cheat if they’re in a heterosexual relationship?
FuckThatBullshit · 05/03/2022 21:20

Absolutely no way would I date someone who was bisexual. A bisexual friend absolutely. A bisexual partner... no.

AHungryCaterpillar · 05/03/2022 21:20

It’s not about untrustworthy to me, I find it a turn off and I don’t care what people think about that, I’m allowed to find whatever I want a turn off.

lulabellz123 · 05/03/2022 21:21

@MonkeyPuddle personally for me it's not about bisexual=untrustworthy. A heterosexual can be untrustworthy. If I find out my man is bisexual that doesn't make him untrustworthy. If he cheated on me with a man or woman that's untrustworthy. But it's just personal preference/maybe wanting your partner to be the same sexuality as you.

DoreenBoland · 05/03/2022 21:21

@FuckThatBullshit

Absolutely no way would I date someone who was bisexual. A bisexual friend absolutely. A bisexual partner... no.
But why? What specifically would you dislike?
MonkeyPuddle · 05/03/2022 21:22

@DoreenBoland obviously my opinion isn’t that of anyone of everyone.

But I know that my ex who was a lesbian (I’m female) found it hard to trust me as I had more ‘options’ in a partner.

MonkeyPuddle · 05/03/2022 21:23

@lulabellz123 no of course, I didn’t mean to make it seem that it was that way for all people, just expessing (badly!) my own experiences.

FuckThatBullshit · 05/03/2022 21:24

Really?!

lulabellz123 · 05/03/2022 21:24

Also alot of women dont identify as bisexual but I'm sure straight women are also attracted to some extent to other women too. I think most straight women watch lesbian porn as it helps them get off...