Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

Good job you are going (?) for half his pension as well as everything else you (and your girls) are entitled to then. 🌹

He does realise you have a claim on his newly inflated pension, doesn't he?! What an utter TIT.

He is such a bully but one without balls!

Goddess, he is SUCH a shit, isn't he 🤬

Pension Sharing Order here we come!

He isn't that bright, really. You will see his payslips as part of disclosure so you will be able to see how much has gone into his pension.

Your Solicitor sounds ace.
Leave it up to the Judge, who will have seen it all before. (Including his threat to work part time).

Love the swimming pool story. I often wave to people I realise too late aren't the people I think they are.... but at least I don't tickle them

Keep on going, have you issued Form A yet?

I'm not sure an AVC into a pension would show up on a payslip, if he paid his bonus into it. It would on the pension statement, if it was vaguely current. More likely is that he got his bonus paid and popped it into a new savings account, outside of his normal banking arrangements and chose not to declare that new account. You would see that on a bank statement, showing a payout to a different place.

Your SHL must be itching to get to court and destroy Geller, he’s such a fucking stereotypical twat isn’t he.

I hope your mum gives it a rest soon… I may be sniggering at you tickling some random persons feet! Please tell me you followed it up with something about it was because their hair was so awful?!

Given that you received a missive the other week advising you that he could no longer have the girls on one of those days because he had far too busy and important work things to do, I think you can very clearly establish a pattern of fuckery.

You are going for your share of his pension aren't you?
I got more as a share of my Ex's pension than from the house. And I was sacrificing just as much for those extra contributions he paid in.

Sorry if I’m stating the obvious here but I process a payroll at work and if an employee makes additional contributions to their pension directly from their salary, either as a one off or regularly, they show up on the payslip. All bonus payments would be on there too.

As he has dragged his feet for so long, surely he needs (and you too, unfortunately) to update Form E? Also, up to date print out of all bank/savings accounts and pensions? I would ask for credit card statements too. That would show up any bonus and where money has been sent out to. Questions can then be asked about where money has gone out to and where payments in have come from. So should highlight if there are new accounts.

I would definitely consider going for half his pension now as he is threatening to reduce his income. There is no predicting how much he is willing to do to prevent you from having child maintenance. A good lump sum/pension share and clean break would be better in the long run than relying on maintenance. It's not just about you but about the Dollies and their future.

Polly, haven't posted for a while on here but have been following and cheering all your decisions and your steps towards the strong woman you are. Whilst the Westley situation is sad, it shows how far you have come to have dealt with it the way you have. The divorce will be done at some point (soon, I hope) and you can look forward to a bright future where you are in charge. All this will just be dinner party stories!

Having said that, I'm still getting fuckwittery from my XH two years after divorce. The twat has no power now though. It's wonderful. He hates it!

Follow your SHL's advice. (You are paying - and she is experienced.)
Geller has done all this before and thinks he is very clever.

He will hate losing power over you. You know he will misuse it if he can.

I suspect that any interest Geller has in the kids will disappear once the financials are locked in anyway. We know he values money over everything and will be an unreliable and inconsistent at best. He will dump them in favour of work and “better plans” as he has form for doing. You need to get every red cent.

Agree with this.

He hid money before.

Your girls deserve every single penny you can get.

He has been married 3 times, I would not be surprised at a 4th marriage such is his ego.

Protect your girls by getting every penny you can.

I'm actually flabbergasted that he could afford to even think about or consider a 4th marriage at some point. I also agree that you have to go after every single penny, cent and any other currency (including crypto currency in case he's put some in that) you're entitled to for the girls and for you.

While it might be an unexpected expense at this point, I would consider asking the SHL if they think there would be any benefit in getting a forensic accountant in to follow the money trail?

My advice is leave him with enough money for a lifestyle that you think he should become accustomed to 😉😉

I agree.

Follow the advice of your SHL. Get what you can when you can and lock the settlement decision down legally (clean break I think it's called?). You don't want a situation where he can go back to court to amend the settlement order at a later date if he decides he wants to cause you more headaches. You want it done and dusted.

Ask the SHL specifically how a 'clean break' might affect child maintenance if his income increases down the line. Where I live the 'final divorce decree ' does finalize the spousal financial settlement BUT child support is always open to revision (by either party) if financial situations change.

I know you are nice by nature, but it's really time to pull up the ruthlessness that you have deep inside. You have steel ovaries, use them. Geller will give no quarter, don't you give any either. The hassle and harassment he may cause you during the settlement processes in phone calls and 'nastygrams' (texts/emails) will be worth it in the future.

I would also really strongly advise for going for half his pension.

Indeed. Take it to court and don’t be nice. Get everything you can - you know he can’t and won’t do equal parenting so your earning capacity and ability to save into a pension is limited while your girls are at home.

And child maintenance barely covers even a quarter of the REAL costs of children. Again, you’ll be paying the bulk of the costs for them. Get an agreement though that he contributes to their university educations, should they wish to go to university. Too many dead beat fathers opt out of any parental support once their children reach 18.

Or get a hitman and problem solved

We keep offering patio building but Polly always turns us down

True… I imagine he’d turn Polly’s climbing roses into something akin to the thorns in Sleeping Beauty anyway.

So he put extra money into his pension... because you didn't include the pension as something to share between you. Well that isn't playing fair is it?

Go for a fair settlement. Include the pension from now on.

Maybe Polly should get a pig, they eat anything, apparently. 🙂

I know...annoying isn't it🤔🤨😁

MN Patio Laying and Pig Hire Services Ltd has rather a good ring to it?

Maybe we should make it snappier.

"MN Pig 'N Patio Services....no job too small, no pig too big".

'pig' would refer to both the porcine species and the troublesome, um, 'issue'.