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Original poster

Hired a Private Detective

200 replies

teddypicker · 26/02/2022 16:38

I just spent about 45 minutes composing a thread about my recent experience and it disappeared when I tried to post it Shock. Thought I'd ask if anyone would be interested in reading an EXTREMELY long post about my adventures before I wrote it all out again? (I do need advice as I'm all over the place about it).
BUT it was very long to avoid the dreaded drip feed.

So, thoughts?

OP posts:
IsThisIt2021 · 26/02/2022 18:06

So is the lady who lives in the house the one he was married to? I was waiting for the update but I just have more questions!

Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:11

@Marvolilly

Have you actually asked him where he lives?

Not sure but I think recent changes to electoral roll sometimes don't show up.

Yes, I asked him and he said the area of the address given by the PD. But no definite street name and number. One of the reasons I involved the PD was because I felt that he thought he was untraceable if things went wrong. He thought I wouldn't be able to cause him any shit and he was safe. But don't know for certain that that's the case. Head fucked.
OP posts:
newbiename · 26/02/2022 18:12

So basically the PD found nothing ?
I bet someone good at FB stalking could have found out more.

Zazdar · 26/02/2022 18:13

Although I don't think the fact his ex lives in a 4 bed house means she's not single.

Nor do I. Two of my neighbours are single women living in five bedroom houses.

Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:14

@debwong

Google 'Private Detectives', they can do most things online because they know where to look.

So you didn't even get to explain your femme fatale drama in his darkened office while he smoked in silhouette at the window?

No, I didn't. That would've been so much more glamorous and Lauren Bacall than ringing during my half hour lunch break Smile
OP posts:
Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:16

@Marvolilly

Also, my phone remained registered at the ex marital home for months and months after separating from exH. Are you being too suspicious OP?
I don't think so as it was about 12 years ago since they were divorced.
OP posts:
Giraffapuses · 26/02/2022 18:17

I'm in for this one.

Escargooooooo · 26/02/2022 18:18

Yes, I asked him and he said the area of the address given by the PD. But no definite street name and number.

So you've dated for a year, never been to his house or know where he lives?

Just say that out loud. You don't know where your boyfriend of a year lives.

That tells you everything you need to know. Plus the behaviour. You don't need a PD to point out he's in another relationship. Even I can tell you that.

Knutface · 26/02/2022 18:19

Look at their driving license when they are in the loo or something, easier than getting a PD.

Hawkins001 · 26/02/2022 18:19

@teddypicker

I just spent about 45 minutes composing a thread about my recent experience and it disappeared when I tried to post it Shock. Thought I'd ask if anyone would be interested in reading an EXTREMELY long post about my adventures before I wrote it all out again? (I do need advice as I'm all over the place about it). BUT it was very long to avoid the dreaded drip feed.

So, thoughts?

Id read it op
PrescriptionWine · 26/02/2022 18:19

I would recommend going on the land registry and getting the title deeds for the house the PD told you about (think it’s about £5) and checking who owns the property... or ask if the PD has done this!

Then I would sit outside and wait because I would need to have closure! Or drive by when he would likely be home, and see if his car is parked there

Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:21

@bongobingo43

His whole behaviour sounds suss and I'd bet money on him having someone else....

Although I don't think the fact his ex lives in a 4 bed house means she's not single. I lm still in a 4 bed house I bought with my ex and can afford it in my own right

The 4 bedroom family home was where he lived with his wife and DC up until 2009. His ex wife lived there until 2017 when it was sold and the professional lady lives there now either on her own or with the bloke I was involved with.
OP posts:
Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:25

@newbiename

So basically the PD found nothing ? I bet someone good at FB stalking could have found out more.
I've done the Facebook stalking. He was active until 2019 and his status was single. The professional woman isn't in SM but a few work related you tube vids, that's how I know what she does.
OP posts:
IsThisIt2021 · 26/02/2022 18:25

OP I’m not sure they’d sell the family home and then he’d live there with the lady who is currently there. That seems very unlikely. More likely his phone is still registered at that address. Which judging by some of these replies isn’t that unusual. So basically you’ve paid for a PI that hasn’t really been useful

Canyouhearmehello · 26/02/2022 18:26

Prescriptionwine
Yes OP do this you can do it now it takes minutes then come back to us. Sorry I am also nosey. Sorry OP he has treated you like rubbish you did the right thing blocking him

Escargooooooo · 26/02/2022 18:27

He was active until 2019? You mean he's got a current FB but changed it to completely private in 2019.

Are you even friends on FB?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/02/2022 18:28

The problem with this is either he's guilty, in which case dump and block, or he isn't, in which case you've done something so terrible he wouldn't want to date you if he knew. Which means you either tell him and get dumped, or you don't, in which case you're the liar who is having a deceitful relationship.

TL:DR; you've wasted your money.

Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:29

@mariepopp

I've hired a PD in the past (for a different situation)... it was money well spent and I got the information I required. I would have done the same as you.
Thank you. I don't feel so much of a freak now GrinWink
OP posts:
Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:31

@IsThisIt2021

So is the lady who lives in the house the one he was married to? I was waiting for the update but I just have more questions!
No, the lady who lives there now is the highflying professional. His ex wife lived there for about 8? years after they separated.
OP posts:
RantyAunty · 26/02/2022 18:31

Curious how much they charged?

Did he ever explain why he wouldn't tell you where he lives?

girlmom21 · 26/02/2022 18:32

So you think his ex wife moved out and his new girlfriend put herself on the electoral roll, where he originally lived and was on the electoral roll, and you think he took himself off when she moved in?

Yeah definitely batshit.

So where are we at now? Did you pay the PD? You shouldn't have. Did you confront your boyfriend with your 'evidence'?

Staryflight445 · 26/02/2022 18:32

His driving licence would have his correct address on op.
Could you look at it?

Original poster
teddypicker · 26/02/2022 18:34

@Escargooooooo

Yes, I asked him and he said the area of the address given by the PD. But no definite street name and number.

So you've dated for a year, never been to his house or know where he lives?

Just say that out loud. You don't know where your boyfriend of a year lives.

That tells you everything you need to know. Plus the behaviour. You don't need a PD to point out he's in another relationship. Even I can tell you that.

As I said previously, it's been a slow burner (my choice) and only the last couple of months have been more intense and feelings growing (on my part).
OP posts:
caranations · 26/02/2022 18:35

So in other words, his phone is registered to the address where he used to live, and where his ex-wife was living until a few years ago. To be honest, I don't think there's anything odd in that. He just probably never changed it when he and she split up (maybe they had a joint contract), and now he does it all online and has entirely forgotten to change it.

It isn't unusual to not be on the electoral roll. You can opt out of the open register. I have, so nobody would find me on it either, and I've lived here decades.

The PD is a bit shit if you ask me.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 26/02/2022 18:35

I'm not totally sure it was money well spent considering you know sod all from the PD other than the address his phone's registered to. The PD would have been better looking at the fact he's in trade and investigated that.