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Original poster

Ex didn't bring our son home

219 replies

VeganAvoToast · 13/02/2022 20:55

I've name changed. I guess I'm posting to see if anyone else has been through this? What happened? I'm in pieces. My son is 7. Ex sent me a screenshot of confirmation of mid term admission to another primary school which he says he is taking our son to see tomorrow. Our son who already sturggles with emtional regualtion and long standing tics. I've called the police but as he has parental responsibility there is nothing they can do.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/02/2022 14:25

Still go through with the court order.

Court ordered contact for EOW, shared school holidays,times, who does the driving etc. you need it documented that your home is the primary one and failure to return him as the ability for the police to arrest etc.

Your ex may have realised when you blocked the application that you will go the legal route.

I would not let contact occur in person until you've sorted it via court order. After all he may pull this stunt again saying you have to pick him up and then a new pattern is created and the courts say it remains.

MaChienEstUnDick · 14/02/2022 14:27

@VeganAvoToast

Ex has just said if I do the driving I can come get ds.

This was never about ds. This was about driving. I can't believe it. All of this, and it boils down to nothing more than driving. One minute he's enrolling him in schools and taking him to have a look, next it's you can collect him if you do the driving

Oh I don't know OP, it's also about fear and control. He's reminding you of who's boss. Poor DS too.

I'm glad you can go and get him, but I wouldn't be sending him back for contact until you've sorted a court order.

Thoosa · 14/02/2022 14:33

It was never about the driving. He was trying it on and has now realised he’s on a sticky wicket.

girafferafferaffe · 14/02/2022 14:35

What a total bastard. I feel for you op :(

Billybagpuss · 14/02/2022 14:35

What an arse. Definitely follow the court route to stop him.

lunar1 · 14/02/2022 14:36

I'm hoping you are on your way to get your boy.

Thoosa · 14/02/2022 14:38

@RandomMess

Still go through with the court order.

Court ordered contact for EOW, shared school holidays,times, who does the driving etc. you need it documented that your home is the primary one and failure to return him as the ability for the police to arrest etc.

Your ex may have realised when you blocked the application that you will go the legal route.

I would not let contact occur in person until you've sorted it via court order. After all he may pull this stunt again saying you have to pick him up and then a new pattern is created and the courts say it remains.

This.

Email him that because he failed to return DS on the 13/02/22, because he attempted to enrol him in X school, Y town without your knowledge or consent and because that attempt was only blocked by you reasoning an objection with the English LEA (local education authority), you won’t be allowing further contact until contact is formally & legally settled.

If he doesn’t engage with the legal process, don’t risk it. You need a court order.

Thoosa · 14/02/2022 14:39

Raising an objection, that should be.

pickingdaisies · 14/02/2022 14:46

OP, of course don't say anything about limiting contact, or solicitors (about anything at all really) until you've got your son back. But don't think it was just about driving. You need to press ahead with your plans or he will try something else next time he thinks he can get away with it.

ScrollingLeaves · 14/02/2022 14:55

I think you should still see a solicitor.

GettingItOutThere · 14/02/2022 15:02

@VeganAvoToast

Ex has just said if I do the driving I can come get ds.

This was never about ds. This was about driving. I can't believe it. All of this, and it boils down to nothing more than driving. One minute he's enrolling him in schools and taking him to have a look, next it's you can collect him if you do the driving

go get him today!

keep the appointments, and get legal advice on if contact should resume in the process.
this will not look good on him! you need a court order so he cannot do this again

AcrossthePond55 · 14/02/2022 15:32

Go get him and then keep the appointments. If he did this once, he'll do it again especially since in his mind it 'works'.

Do you have it in a text message (ie written form) that he'd turn him over to you?

DePfeffoff · 14/02/2022 15:40

I doubt this was about driving initially. As people have said, it was about control. Also he's discovered it's not as easy as he thought once he started trying to enrol your son in a school, and quite possibly his girlfriend has told him to bog off if he thinks she is going to be free childcare for him.

BoredZelda · 14/02/2022 15:49

That's nonsense. Both Scotland and England are in the sovereign state of the United Kingdom.

With different legal jurisdictions.

2DogsOnMySofa · 14/02/2022 16:00

I think after all this now is the time to absolutely go to court to agree access and who does what with regards to your dc, especially about who collects and drops off

cooldarkroom · 14/02/2022 16:06

Also, he needs to do half the driving, he moved away I believe.

HelloDulling · 14/02/2022 16:06

@VeganAvoToast

Ex has just said if I do the driving I can come get ds.

This was never about ds. This was about driving. I can't believe it. All of this, and it boils down to nothing more than driving. One minute he's enrolling him in schools and taking him to have a look, next it's you can collect him if you do the driving

Christ. What a wanker. Drive, drive like the wind!
User57327259 · 14/02/2022 16:14

OP Keep tomorrow's and Wednesday's appointments. If he gets away with this he will do this repeatedly. You need all this locked down tight.

Stripyhoglets1 · 14/02/2022 16:16

Hopefully you've gone to get your son. Keep those appointments. Make the application to court and tell your ex there's no further contact until the court order is in place.
He moved away so he does the driving.

momtoboys · 14/02/2022 16:19

I hope you have gone to get your son.

Thevengabusiscoming · 14/02/2022 16:22

No don’t go and get him it’s Valentine’s Day I bet his girlfriend and him want time alone that’s why you can now go and pick him up. Make him bring him back i bet he does

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 14/02/2022 16:23

@VeganAvoToast

Ex has just said if I do the driving I can come get ds.

This was never about ds. This was about driving. I can't believe it. All of this, and it boils down to nothing more than driving. One minute he's enrolling him in schools and taking him to have a look, next it's you can collect him if you do the driving

Go get him and then keep him with you permanently. Only let you ex take him when it's court ordered.
Houseofvelour · 14/02/2022 16:23

What an evil POS.
Please do not allow him to have your son again until you have a court order in place.

TheRealityCheque · 14/02/2022 16:26

@Thevengabusiscoming

No don’t go and get him it’s Valentine’s Day I bet his girlfriend and him want time alone that’s why you can now go and pick him up. Make him bring him back i bet he does
Yes, playing brinkmanship games with a child always ends well.

Of course you should go and get him.

Redwinestillfine · 14/02/2022 16:44

It's not just about driving. It's about control and will happen again. Get a solicitor and formalise everything.

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