Ex didn't bring our son home

[VeganAvoToast]

I've name changed. I guess I'm posting to see if anyone else has been through this? What happened? I'm in pieces. My son is 7. Ex sent me a screenshot of confirmation of mid term admission to another primary school which he says he is taking our son to see tomorrow. Our son who already sturggles with emtional regualtion and long standing tics. I've called the police but as he has parental responsibility there is nothing they can do.

I'm going to take dog for a walk to try and cool myself down.

It's so clear to me now too, how he's doing this as its easier for him. Ex new gf is a sessional worker (not teacher) and finishes early, she already has 2 children that live with them during the week...in my exs mind he won't need to do anymore driving, he'll get weekends free, he's got a live in Nanny in his gf. I read through the messages again last night (as he won't allow me to talk to him since I told him on Saturday I record the calls) and where I'm clearly stating that nothing is changing, my ex starts to blame Scottish school complaining that he's had the same teacher for 3 years.

And I can see the culmination of events that led me to slip a bit and is allowing ex to leverage. I went back to working FT after finishing uni a few weeks ago, my sons behaviour at school last week was very challenging at times, I was worried about him, the dog and making sure she had enough walks, and trying to find my feet juggling working, homework, extracurricular activities, house work etc.

The court is not going to decide that the scottish school system is inferior to the English. Nor that he should stay with your ex because his new girlfriend works part time and you now work FT.

Phone a solicitor at 9 and explain. Your ex is in the wrong. A sheriff will not be impressed with him at all.

Couldn’t read and run. OP sounds like he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. How awful for your DS and you. Some great advice here. Most importantly- call a solicitor at 9am.

As well as the emergency hearing today to get him returned to Scotland it's time to get a court order where you DS has weekends at home too. Ok your ex may then need to have more school holiday time to retain the same number of nights but when is your DS getting quality time with you during term time.

The courts will make him be returned today.

Will be definitely calling from 9am.

There has been such great advice, thank you so much.

I don't know what school in the area ex plans to take him to today. I've got a reference number for the admission which ex sent me but thats from local council. Can I call local council today, tell them the reference number and explain to them?

OP - stop blaming yourself for this. Your ex is a manipulative, horrible man. This is all on him.

Also yes absolutely I'd like to make it EOW. I thought I was doing the right thing. When I ask for him to come home early, on a Saturday instead of a Sunday ex refuses.

Of course you can call the council. Tell the admissions people exactly what’s happened and they will withdraw the school place.

You can also ask the Admissions people to put a flag on your son’s record to alert them if your husband tries a different school.

I feel sometimes this kind of move is to destabilise you in your new job. Stay strong and good luck with the hearing

Definitely make both schools and LEA's fully aware that you do not consent to a change and that you are seeking legal advice how to proceed further.

No advice but just wanted to wish you luck today. I hope you are back later with good news xx

Good luck
Doing this to a child to score points with the other parent is disgraceful and not in their best interests.

@Diqgeneration

I feel sometimes this kind of move is to destabilise you in your new job. Stay strong and good luck with the hearing

I was going to say this - you say you have annual leave today but he probably thought you would be working and that he’d be able to cause problems with you having to take time off to deal with this. Just another way to try and control you. Sorry I don’t have any advice, luckily it looks like you have plenty of great replies and I’m sure your son will be home sooner than you know. I’m so sorry you’re going through this

I agree with PPs though the council may not be willing to give you details but they will listen to your issues and should act on them.

The likelihood that your Ex chooses the nearest school to his home is pretty high. If there are several nearby I'd ring them all.

So sorry you're going through this, OP, and really hope you get some positive progress today.

This isn't your fault op. Hope you get hold of a solicitor today and it gets sorted

I second the pp who advised emailing the schools. There should be someone there to talk to now, but follow up any phone calls confirming what was discussed with an email so you have a trail. Remember to call your son's school at home and let them know what's going on. Sending you and wishing you have success today.

Good luck this morning Op.
I hope this also gives his new GF pause for thought, such an awful thing to do to your son.

@SirVixofVixHall

Good luck this morning Op. I hope this also gives his new GF pause for thought, such an awful thing to do to your son.

She’ll have been spun a shaggy dog’s tail about it all.

He doesn't have he right to remove them from Scotland though because it has a different legal jurisdiction to England.

Emergency court hearing all the way, no mediation.

Good luck today and I hope your little boy is home soon