Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need to finish this don't I?

257 replies

sleepspray · 13/02/2022 15:11

I was away with my partner of 18 months for the weekend. We had a wonderful weekend until we got locked out of our guest house so despite many attempts to get in contact with the owner, we had to sleep in the car.
We were both annoyed but he was particularly upset. He spoke to me like shit.Didn't really care that I was really cold and generally mean.
When we finally got into the building, he was so rude to the lady who was very upset that this had happened and was very apologetic. She offered us breakfast and the room for an extended period.
He flounced off to the room, packed his stuff and met me at the doorway.
When I asked him where he was going ... he simply said' home' and left. We don't live together. He's 46 btw.
So he left ..
Do I leave him for this?

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 13/02/2022 17:49

It’s so shit but you’ve dodged a bullet.

Nanny0gg · 13/02/2022 17:49

@sleepspray

I was away with my partner of 18 months for the weekend. We had a wonderful weekend until we got locked out of our guest house so despite many attempts to get in contact with the owner, we had to sleep in the car. We were both annoyed but he was particularly upset. He spoke to me like shit.Didn't really care that I was really cold and generally mean. When we finally got into the building, he was so rude to the lady who was very upset that this had happened and was very apologetic. She offered us breakfast and the room for an extended period. He flounced off to the room, packed his stuff and met me at the doorway. When I asked him where he was going ... he simply said' home' and left. We don't live together. He's 46 btw. So he left .. Do I leave him for this?
Yes.

How did you get home?

Abouttoblow · 13/02/2022 17:50

What "crucial" details do you feel are missing AnyFucker? If the level of detail isn't up to your exacting standards you could always ignore the thread completely.

sleepspray · 13/02/2022 17:50

I stayed on and slept until I was within limits for driving. Then I drove home.

OP posts:
Lemonweightloss · 13/02/2022 17:51

@formalineadeline, ok

Minfilia · 13/02/2022 17:52

Huh? You could have walked to his house in 30 minutes but you slept in the car?

And no, he hasn’t exactly covered himself in glory has he.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 13/02/2022 17:54

Surely at least one of you would have rang a taxi and just gone home?

formalineadeline · 13/02/2022 17:54

@sleepspray

His home is a ten minute drive. A half Hour walk .It was pouring down and extremely cold. We had hoped that if we continued to ring the guesthouse, that someone would answer.
Ok, but you spent hours sleeping in a car? Which is a far longer time to be extremely cold than a 30 minute walk.

Or were you up all night ringing them? If you stopped to give up and sleep, why not go somewhere offering actual shelter at that point?

If you had been out to get drunk then did you walk back to the guest house in the pouring rain? In which case why did the rain suddenly matter?

Or get a taxi? In which case why not get a taxi to his house? Use the phone you were calling the guest house with to call a taxi.

At no point either of you said, "hey wouldn't it be better to head to [his house]?"

sleepspray · 13/02/2022 17:54

Slept in the car as it was spilling down and so cold , plus we'd had too many drinks. It seemed like the best option and anyway there's no way he would have walked.

OP posts:
Sunseasun · 13/02/2022 17:55

Ignore the posters asking for more gory details op.

Yes. It’s shit bad I’d be mad at being locked out but I would want to know if my partner was okay once we were inside, and get something to eat and warm up. I hope you’re alright, it’s so shit when I’m you realise someone is showing you who they are after you have envisioned a future with them but see it as a lucky escape. It was just one of those things that happens and there will likely be more, will he strop off every time and ignore you?

formalineadeline · 13/02/2022 17:56

@Abouttoblow

What "crucial" details do you feel are missing AnyFucker? If the level of detail isn't up to your exacting standards you could always ignore the thread completely.
This forum would die pretty quickly if all anyone ever posted was "yes, I wholeheartedly agree with every word you say" .
sleepspray · 13/02/2022 17:58

Ok@formalineadeline

We tried to call taxis.
The pub was minutes away from the guesthouse.
It was pouring down and very cold.
We spent a lot of time between dozing, ringing the owner.
He wouldn't walk. Full stop.

OP posts:
formalineadeline · 13/02/2022 17:59

@sleepspray

Slept in the car as it was spilling down and so cold , plus we'd had too many drinks. It seemed like the best option and anyway there's no way he would have walked.
How did you travel to/from wherever you got drunk? Why was that form of transport not an option?

And as you have been at pains to point out, the car was cold.

It's not exactly stellar decision-making on anybody's part. I don't really see the need to demonise someone for being upset and reacting differently to you.

formalineadeline · 13/02/2022 18:00

[quote sleepspray]Ok@formalineadeline

We tried to call taxis.
The pub was minutes away from the guesthouse.
It was pouring down and very cold.
We spent a lot of time between dozing, ringing the owner.
He wouldn't walk. Full stop.[/quote]
Fine. Then if you had the option to walk somewhere safe and he refused that casts him in a different light than if you did.

LazySaturday · 13/02/2022 18:01

@sleepspray

His home is a ten minute drive. A half Hour walk .It was pouring down and extremely cold. We had hoped that if we continued to ring the guesthouse, that someone would answer.
I'm struggling to see how sleeping in your cars was a better choice than getting a ten minute taxi to his house though? Who's choice was that? Because if, in addition to what you've said here, he refused to let you go with him to his house, then yes it is over.

Given this information though the whole story just seems odd. You both apparently chose to sleep in your cars rather than get a taxi or have a rainy walk to his house??

sleepspray · 13/02/2022 18:02

Demonise him?
He was shitty to me and left me there miserable and cold , after what was meant to be a romantic Valentine's weekend away.
Hardly the actions of a man in love or who cares and respects me?
We all have differing standards I guess.

OP posts:
sleepspray · 13/02/2022 18:02

There were no taxis.
He would not walk in the rain and cold.

OP posts:
Abouttoblow · 13/02/2022 18:04

Formalineadeline

This forum would die pretty quickly if all anyone ever posted was "yes, I wholeheartedly agree with every word you say"

No one mentioned blindly agreeing with the OP. The situation was laid out clearly. Claiming there's more to the story and "like getting blood from a stone" comments suggest the OP is not being honest or omitting facts on purpose. It's just a shitty thing to do.

LazySaturday · 13/02/2022 18:05

@sleepspray

There were no taxis. He would not walk in the rain and cold.
Sorry cross post, yes in that case it would definitely be over for me. A half hour walk (even a cold rainy walk) is really nothing compared to a night in the car. You could have had a hot shower and a decent night's sleep then returned in the morning to get your stuff and a refund. He refused to do that and made you sit there all night being rude to you. What a prat!!
NowEvenBetter · 13/02/2022 18:16

Not sure why people can’t comprehend your posts OP.

He left you, the relationship is over. Your updates about him grunting ‘no, no’ and ‘leave it’ in a psychopathic manner and refusing to get a taxi or walk for half an hour show you picked badly and he won’t be of any loss to you.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 13/02/2022 18:26

I've seen him being selfish yes and he's shit in a crisis. He runs away from issues.

Not someone suitable to be in a happy, healthy relationship with.

collieresponder88 · 13/02/2022 18:29

Do u really need to ask that question !!

WonderfulYou · 13/02/2022 18:31

I'm struggling to see how sleeping in your cars was a better choice than getting a ten minute taxi to his house though?

If I’d paid for a hotel room I wouldn’t want to get a taxi home as I hope the owner wouldn’t be too long sorting it out.
And when you’re drunk and tired you don’t think straight anyway.

Emanchego · 13/02/2022 18:31

I'm sorry for the lady.

Ravenclaws · 13/02/2022 18:32

Op have you heard from him today?

Swipe left for the next trending thread