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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is this a hotel ?

245 replies

anon50 · 12/02/2022 01:29

I know this may sound weird, but from this image does this look like it's in a hotel.
I know it's a bit hard to tell but all opinions are very much welcome.

Is this a hotel ?
OP posts:
Darbs76 · 12/02/2022 08:23

Yes you can see the fire safety stuff on the door

ESGdance · 12/02/2022 08:24

You know what he has done before but seem unable to take any action.

What action would you need to take?

Is it your home? Rented? Bought?

Are you scared of him?

Is he refusing to leave?

How long have you been married?

Does he work?

Trying to get truth from a liar is like getting blood from a stone - it doesn’t exist.

Wanting to know more facts than you already know is keeping you stuck.

What more do you need to know to know that your marriage is over? Does it matter if it’s hotel / flat / hostel etc? He has already cheated.

Can you seek professional support to move your life on?

3luckystars · 12/02/2022 08:27

Stop asking why and start asking what to do next. You know that you know. That’s enough.

Smackthepony · 12/02/2022 08:28

@ESGdance

You know what he has done before but seem unable to take any action.

What action would you need to take?

Is it your home? Rented? Bought?

Are you scared of him?

Is he refusing to leave?

How long have you been married?

Does he work?

Trying to get truth from a liar is like getting blood from a stone - it doesn’t exist.

Wanting to know more facts than you already know is keeping you stuck.

What more do you need to know to know that your marriage is over? Does it matter if it’s hotel / flat / hostel etc? He has already cheated.

Can you seek professional support to move your life on?

Totally this^

You are torturing yourself with this. Just get rid of him and do it now.

LIZS · 12/02/2022 08:28

Looks like it, possibly a smaller one or band b. Not corporate.

LIZS · 12/02/2022 08:34

Where had he led you to believe he was staying? You don't trust him, that is enough to end it.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 12/02/2022 08:36

OP: he lied and cheated when he was in a LDR with you. He did sex videos with several women after he married you. He has now photographed himself in a small hotel / guest house without explanation.

That’s his 3 chances.

It is his responsibility to behave decently and honestly towards his wife. It is not your responsibility to worry about how his family will feel. And frankly I don’t think they will care as long as he gets his visa and they get their money.

It is your responsibility to look after yourself. You cannot condemn yourself to a life of being the woman who sits at home while he has sex here there and everywhere as he pleases. The woman he blames and turns on with accusations of stalking etc. THAT is your future with this man, not the fantasies he spun while you were in the LDR. You know that now. 3 times he has proved it.

Is your flat rented? I know you worry about work etc

You say on your other thread that you have care experience. You can enrol with a care agency and get jobs living in clients homes (often lovely homes!) as a live in Carer, get paid £750 PW, with all your household costs covered!

For example.

You do have a future OP, but not with this cheating lying abusive man.

lottiegarbanzo · 12/02/2022 08:37

Notice on the door says yes, misaligned pictures say no. Could be university halls, a hostel etc.

inheritancetrack · 12/02/2022 08:39

Yes.

AngelinaFibres · 12/02/2022 08:40

It looks like a cheap hotel. However it doesn't really matter whether it is a hotel, a student room, an HMO or the moon, he is somewhere he has no legitimate reason to be and he won't tell you why . I remember your previous thread. He is with you for a visa. You need to get rid of him.

Hesma · 12/02/2022 08:42

With air con above the door and a list of instructions on the back of it I’d say yes, it is

londonrach · 12/02/2022 08:43

Yes

AllTheFeels1 · 12/02/2022 08:49

I'd say so. The air con above the door and the sign on the back of the door is typical in hotel rooms. Hope you're ok.

Lulu1919 · 12/02/2022 08:52

Looks like a hotel room to me .....air con above door .....fire regs on door ....

Jijithecat · 12/02/2022 08:52

OP, am I right in thinking that this trading room that you met in online is a cryptocurrency type thing?
I mean this in the nicest possible way but I also think that he has targeted you in order to get a visa. You need to protect yourself and get out of this relationship as soon as possible. There's a big possibility that the other women that he is contact with he is scamming or exploiting in someway.
He's not a good man and you are worth so much more than him.

Looubylou · 12/02/2022 08:53

Do you have sensible family or friends, while you can confide in OP? Who you know will support you to escape this abusive marriage? If not, google your local domestic abuse service. Or, your GP surgery or even local library, or Children's Centre, or Chemist, will signpost you. Abuse comes in many forms, and to even have continued a LDR with this horrible man, suggests you were already vulnerable, and need support. The support /advice is there, and easy to find.

LIZS · 12/02/2022 08:59

Read your previous thread, run and hope you did not get pg. He is taking you for a mug and the long periods of your angst ate enabling it. Stop trying to avoid upsetting everyone else and put yourself first.

ChoiceMummy · 12/02/2022 09:00

Yes given the door and the fsct there's a chain, means it's not a work room.

RussianSpy101 · 12/02/2022 09:00

Is he being pedantic? It’s actually a B&B or similar but he feels by saying it’s not a hotel he isn’t actually lying.

Either way he sounds a prick. Where did he say he was going?

PartyPlan · 12/02/2022 09:01

Per your last thread, this man is using you for a visa and doesn’t think anything of cheating on you. Once he has his leave to remain he will be off like a shot. You only met him once before getting married ffs, you didn’t know the real him but are getting to know him now.

Spidey66 · 12/02/2022 09:06

The notice on the door made me think hotel. It looks like fire escape notice.

BellePeppa · 12/02/2022 09:08

OMG will people stop saying whether they think it’s a hotel, B&B etc, what does that matter?! He sounds a jerk and she needs to leave him, that is the pertinent, relevant issue not what type of accommodation he’s sitting in!

Ladybugzrock · 12/02/2022 09:10

Right, so he’s a nasty, cheating, gaslighting creep.

What are you going to do about it?

Flowers
Gowithme · 12/02/2022 09:16

You made a mistake marrying this man OP, that's ok people make mistakes especially when they're vulnerable. But this is a bad man OP, he doesn't care about you, he has no respect for you - exactly where he is in this photo is neither here nor there, it really doesn't matter as you already know he is a liar and a cheat. You are putting yourself at risk by staying with this man, emotionally and physically - please get yourself tested for stds.

No one can tell you anything except that you need to leave. Do you have somewhere you can go?

RichardMarxisinnocent · 12/02/2022 09:17

@ABCDEFyou

Don't most hotels use the card system, where you and not a standard key and chain on the inside? I've never seen that in even the cheapest hotels for a very long time.

I'm not saying he's not a lying twat or that it's not dodgy but I'm wondering if it's more like a place of some kind of business because that thing on the inside of the door also looks more like a price list to me than fire instructions.

Massage place or something? With the chain on the door to stop someone walking in?

Hotels with cards to open the door still have a knob you can turn from inside to double lock the door so even someone with a card can't get in. Pretty sure I've stayed in hotels that also have a chain.