Found HIV testing kit in hubby’s bag!

[PocketRocket81]

Ok, so DH has been a little withdrawn for several weeks. Not sure what came over me but decided to have a nose through his work hold-all. I’ve come across an unopened HIV kit. What the hell is going on? How do I approach him when he’s home later today?

He’s lying sorry

With it being HIV week I was about to say ‘don’t worry’.

With his reaction? I’m not so sure. Who would prank about HIV? Why wouldn’t he immediately put your mind at rest with a quick look at his phone?

If he is genuinely worried, then he should have been telling you. Test yourself for peace of mind.

Bullshitting, flouncing and lying is something I’d find hard to ignore.

Oh dear. Well, if he had gotten the test from some random source as a legitimate 'test week' thing, he would have said so right away wouldn't he? And refusing access to a phone is a red flag, although it's not always specifically a cheating red flag. I say this because it could be cheating messages, financial shenanigans, porn, or slagging you off. Any way you look at it, it's not good.

Time for you to sit down and take a very, very hard look at your relationship from all angles. He may not be cheating (although the HIV test points to it), but 'something is rotten in the State of Denmark'.

What sort of engineering does he do? If there are sight visits could he have a needle stick injury?

Yeah, he's 100% shagging about and has gone off to delete the evidence.

It may be HIV week but if visiting a GUM clinic or ordering online , he would most likely be offered other tests like Chlamydia/ Gonorrhoea/ Syphylis which there is a far greater likelihood of testing positive

If this is just a joke then it's in very bad taste and makes a mockery of the free service we provide within the NHS

If I was you Op I would just book myself in for a general GUM check up and be mindful of intercourse with him until you are convinced otherwise of his behaviour

He is cheating. That's for sure given his reaction.

Wow. I think you know he’s hiding something. He will now have deleted everything from his phone.

I would pack his bags, and when he returns tell him he’s got one opportunity to tell you the truth and then wait.

Sorry it doesn’t sound innocent anymore. I was hoping my explanation would be correct ☹️.

Hmm, given your update I’d say there’s more likely something to worry about. Sorry OP!

A prank? Bollocks, and to be honest in such poor taste I’d leave anyway.

@PocketRocket81

So he’s come home, I’ve asked him about it and he said ‘it’s for a prank for one of the guys at work’. My gut tells me he’s lying.

I’ve asked to see his phone and he said no and walked out.

Some prank! I think if that is true, it is in poor taste and dangerous.

My mind probably would have jumped to cheating tbh but as it’s HIV week he could have easily saw an advert and thought he might as well get checked if he’s never had one.

Surely if he was cheating he would test for other STIs?!

An engineer who works away? I know a hell of a lot of those.

Trust me when I tell you that he has, on the balance of probability, had much more than one ONS. He is cheating. Dont be a mug any longer.

Sorry OP but the excuse and reaction sound fishy. Don't be surprised if his phone history gets cleaned or you get a 'don't you trust me', 'will you never out ONS behind you, it's been ten? years' or 'have you been having a fling and trying to project on me'. If he has then expect he'll use a burner payg in future.

Yeah the HIV week thing (which sounded plausible) goes out the window now he's obviously lied about it.

Sorry, OP. I would definitely book an appointment ASAP to get tested.

As for your OH...has he been having unprotected sex with you all this time? I would be so so angry, hurt, and disgusted...doesn't even cover it.

If it's just the HIV test and he's worried does that suggest that he's been sleeping with someone he (now) knows to have HIV - perhaps due to HIV testing week? Or perhaps he's picked that test up somewhere because it was freely available and it's the "scariest" STD.

Either way OP - poor you. I'm so sorry for this level of stress and worry. You don't deserve this.

He's gone off to erase all incriminating evidence from his phone. No one goes and gets an HIV test for a prank - how the hell would you use that in a prank? I'm so sorry it's all gone to shit OP, you need to start putting yourself first right now and get out of this mess. What an asshole.

@Simonjt

It’s HIV testing week, our employer has arranged for everyone to be sent a kit at home, including those of us on leave.

Jesus Fucking Christ, that would have got me killed when I was with my ex if it dropped through the letterbox.

Does anybody at your work actually have a brain?

I don’t know if you should ask or not, it may be totally innocent as being HIV testing week but… it maybe his testing himself in preparation to have unprotected sex with someone he has got close to… but in that case he would have got a test to check for more STDS than just AIDS.

Whatever you do, get yourself tested as well, just in case.

He’s probably taken advantage of the fact it’s hiv week to get the test. He’s obviously done something to make him worried about it.

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

He cheated before with no repercussions and is likely cheating now because he knows he can. The sheer arrogance of walking away when confronted!

You poor thing. You don't deserve any of this.

@Simonjt

That wa considered in my old job and then decided against because of the risk to anyone in an abusive relationship (and simply to anyone with felt relationship in trouble.)

I cant believe that got passed a discussion at your workplace. Please, please email whoever is in charge of arranging that and stop it.

HIV testing week is how he got the kit. Not the why.

It’s HIV week, they are giving out test kits most places.