Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@ihavetogoshoppingnow thanks, yeah I will be asking him about that. Was really disappointing to notice that his old picture came back when I only went back onto it to look at his face 🤣🤦‍♀️🤮
Lesson learnt, if it is the end of this story I will be definitely smarter next time 👍
I was thinking to come back on apps to distract myself 🤦‍♀️ ego is abad advisor 🤷‍♀️

@ButterflyOfShay how come you find all those hot ones?
Im stuck at home for 2 yrs now so maybe "post"pandemic world is more colourful... 🤷‍♀️

@ButterflyOfShay ooh sounds promising! Did you get the chance to have a chat? Perhaps your computer needs some tlc? 😉

[quote Stayingstrongish]@ButterflyOfShay ooh sounds promising! Did you get the chance to have a chat? Perhaps your computer needs some tlc? 😉[/quote]
Yes maybe you can get him to show you his hard drive.

Exciting, I would love to find someone hot in real life. The IT department is always man heavy!

After my angst, Mr Red has texted and arranged a second meet for the weekend so that’s something to look forward to. Wonder if you get a valentines card after two dates lol!

@ButterflyOfShay jealous of your office hotty, our IT guy is an old grumpy Irishman and we’re all still stuck at home anyways

For those of us who are fixers/saviours/Florence (Nightingale) this post on Instagram is very interesting reading.....every example was a ✔ for my ex husband.
I don't know how I didn't see it at the start....

@ButterflyOfShay Oh that's exciting! Hope you get chatting to Hot IT guy!
@Knutface That's great news, enjoy your date with Mr. Red

Daydreamscometrue
I probably initiated it wee more than him if I’m being honest ! But he’s keen and chatting and is very sweet
He was being a bit slow as he was worried that I’m a single mum , don’t have time etc
I need to have a chat 💬 but face to face and not in bloody texts
We shall see
It’s the 4th date and we are intimate so I’ll find out a bit where our heads are at
Ce sera , sera

ButterflyOfShay
I also find you real life crushes very endearing !

Hehx3
I dropped a heavy hint to my iron and told him I’ve frozen my profile
I said ‘I can’t be arsed ‘ which is somewhat true
Sod it
He said he likes people to be direct and honest
Seed planted
I’m not going to shag someone whos looking to date other women

@Thisisworsethananticpated - good on you! I totally agree. Let's hope he's on the same page when you see him again this week. Is he younger?

No he’s my age
I’m In that place of trusting someone who’s been nice and sincere for a month , and not falling into crazy mode
Which let’s face it
I can !!!

checking in thanks for new thread @ButterflyOfShay

All quiet here! Bedroom news - can report that Primark has some very nice pyjamas in muted posh tones in, so if you want some bedroom pleasure without going on the apps can recommend.

I'm back on the apps but snails pace really, few random Ok chats then fizzling out, few pervs, few pushy types, usual scene

Meetup was a blast, ran very smoothly, everyone lovely, great booking from @Dancerinthemoonlight got us cheap drinks at the right time.

(hope to see some new faces at the next one too especially if all this Covid stuff is through)

I haven't had a date in a decade
Watching with interest...

@ArtOfTheImpossible welcome 🤗

I hadn't had one in 20 years.

Keep us posted on any dates you might have, there's some great wisdom around here ☺️

Hey y'all

Checking in. I heard back from one of my January date zero irons - we might meet up again. I think it's probably just a friendship thing - which is fine. He was nice and interesting and we have lots in common (including career, interests and network) so will just go with the flow. Mr Swan.

I was also supposed to have a date zero this week with another iron, but that got cancelled due to Covid isolation, and realistically we're not going to meet for a couple more weeks as I'm away over half term. He's still in contact though, which is nice. Will see if we can keep stringing it out... Mr Business Case.

Also still in contact with my 2 x irons from 2021 - Mr G and Mr T. Also nice - both just platonic now.

I think that's 4x "nice" in one post - not really the level of excitement I'm aiming for, but hey ho.

@Thisisworsethananticpated ah good for you 👍 no time to waste! I have send my Romeo a txt saying I keep catching myself thinking about him to which I got a reply "I hope its not a bad thing" (first slap in a cheek), so I said that I didnt think so but asked maybe he wants to tell me otherwise, to which he replied "you know I like to spend time with you" which felt like another slap, he then said I hopeI didnt make you upset and that we can talk about it, to which I replied that there is no need to discuss this and I will be okay THE END there is nothing he can say to make me feel better (only worse) I will kill this growing infatuation before it can grow to anything 💪

Hehx3
Oh dear ! Sometimes texts are really totally the worst medium to communicate
What does he want to ‘talk about’ ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated I think the fact Im in the camp "thinking about you a lot" and he is in the camp "i like to spend time with you" which perhaps are not miles apart but not at the same side yet. I value my inner peace and I want someone to be on the same page after 2 mths and a bit, so sad but thats the way it is 🤷‍♀️

On paper it’s not much
But , all these little bugs add up
I think you have to sound him out and be very
Clear that if you don’t get what you want you will walk away
For your own sanity
It’s never easy

@Hehx3 possibly this is just a text misunderstanding? It sounds like he wants to chat because he realises he’s upset you and perhaps thinks it’s better to chat in person about that?

Yeah you got it, its like all those little bugs adding up and eating you alive, I don't need that: initiating pest control activities in 3 2 1 go SUBJECT ELIMINATED (jm almost 40 btw 🤣).
@Stayingstrongish I know, perhaps in some parts it is, but he can only think he has upset me because he is not "there" with me. Which is fair enough but not sthg I will accept after that time and intimacy together.

@Hehx3 that makes sense, if you feel those feelings aren’t going to grow then best to move on now x

Hehx3
I do have w tendency to self sabotage when I like people
And I also have a tendency to let boundaries slip

It’s been interesting transitioning from an abusive relationship to relationship with normal guys with normal flaws , so maybe their behaviour isn’t perfect
But they are basically decent and not abusive either

I don’t know what I’m trying to impart here !