Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@ButterflyOfShay

Ive got a neighbour who’s in her mid 50s and always always brings up her age. Its so tedious I mean why do that?? She looks good too and is funny and witty. Just banging on about age becomes quite draining..

They want to think they are 'good for their age' but are not quite sure, and so mention their age in attempt to draw compliments. Well, that's what this 51 year old bloke thinks anyway ...

I don’t mind men into bikes, cars etc. The ones I actively avoid are those that have the same interests as my teenage sons (gaming, marvel etc), total turn off!

@Knutface

I don’t mind men into bikes, cars etc. The ones I actively avoid are those that have the same interests as my teenage sons (gaming, marvel etc), total turn off!

As I said, I don't mind if a guy is into cars or bikes. But I think there is a chasm between "into" and "so into it's part of my character and there are more photos of bikes on my dating profile than of me". And I think any photos of bikes shows the latter.

I like reading, I don't put photos of books. I like walking, I don't post photos of walking boots. I like food, I don't post photos of my dinner......

I think one photo of you on or next to a bike to show you ride is fine. Pictures of purely just bikes and/or cars, mainly to show off is icky. You’re not a transformer

@Knutface

I don’t mind men into bikes, cars etc. The ones I actively avoid are those that have the same interests as my teenage sons (gaming, marvel etc), total turn off!

Same, I avoid those who say they love gaming and marvel 🤣, tbh I go for men who have outdoor hobbies, cycling is fine….though I’m getting annoyed with all the photos of men holding fish, one guy just had 4 photos of himself…..all holding fish, that makes me thing “he spends a lot of time fishing” and fishing isn’t really an attractive hobby.

I think men rarely take selfies and the only time some do is when they're fishing as they record every catch. So they have to use fish photos as they have no others. It doesn't always mean they're always fishing.

Mr K loves fishing but doesn't have much time for it although he is away to the other end of the country to seafish for a few days.

Fishing isn't my idea of a great hobby but then equally some of mine are probably not to his taste so I say live and let live.

I have had the privilege of being invited to the private lakes he fishes and although I don't like it I went along for a few hours because I think I should be supportive of him (and I'm a nosey cow plus no girlfriends have been invited before so I thought it must have taken a lot to invite me into his inner sanctum 😂)

I don’t think I would put a picture of my bike on my profile,
I don’t want to be seen as “a biker”, I’m just someone who happens to like bikes amongst other things

Saying that I also wouldn’t say that fishing is not an “attractive” hobby, as it would be attractive to the person “hobbying” , even if it’s not attractive to me

I don’t think I would put a picture of my bike on my profile,
I don’t want to be seen as “a biker”, I’m just someone who happens to like bikes amongst other things

Well, quite. That's exactly my point. The guys who do put them on are presenting themselves a certain way - as people who views bikes as part of their personality. And that's too full on for me.

I remember my ex spotting some bike on the road and rubbing his crotch and turning to me with what can only be described as a letcherous leer. He saw the horror on my face and thankfully never did it again. I'm not sure he realised I had fully understood what he was doing, but I did!

@Badbaddog I like your philosophy about the positive pescatarianism 🥰 other than two martinis at the MN meet up I’ve not touched a drop of booze since last year and it’s actually really easy now 😄
I can imagine for women who are juggling childcare with careers and family life.. well I don’t know how they do it, I have the utmost respect and admiration for women who do this 💗

@HairyArsedMan as always you’ve given me food for thought here about her motives! Thing is I’m always bigging her up when she bitches about herself but maybe that’s her idea?? I find conversations about anything personal such as weight, age etc uncomfortable, and I try and steer it away asap. Much prefer lighthearted convo than loaded ones

@Thisisworsethananticpated

ihavetogoshoppingnow

All I will say is these chaps and old need to make us smile 😊 and be happier
Sounds like you had a great build up to the date , a great date but you have been stressing about him ever since
And not smiling
So just be mindful of that dear
As that’s the most important thing

So agree x

Happy belated birthday at lovely @Stepcount!! Hope you had a splendid and magical day 😍🎂💖🎈🎁🎉 xxx

I love cars and am a slight petrol head but men standing by cars which probably aren't even theirs on apps just look like wankers..

I don’t like fish, to look at or eat! So fish photos are a no for me, I’d be worried the man might smell fishy :vomit:

@ButterflyOfShay

Ive got a neighbour who’s in her mid 50s and always always brings up her age. Its so tedious I mean why do that?? She looks good too and is funny and witty. Just banging on about age becomes quite draining..

She is fishing for complements

The iron I was totally obsessed with and never met, MrJD had loads of fish photos. He was fricking gorgeous though so I didn’t mind at all 😂 the fish were actually kind of beautiful too.

If you pose on or next to your motorbike I think it's a good way to show that it's a passion, and then I can swipe left. If you pose in or next to a car it's either not yours or you're showing off - either way, you're making it easy for me to swipe left. If you holding a fish is one of many photos I might give you a chance despite hating fish, but if it looks like you have no other interests then you're also not for me. And if you just have photos of stuff without you in it you're a moron and not for me. Not many men are for me. But I'm no doubt not many men's cup of tea either.

I agree with pp saying moaning about your age or your weight or whatever is fishing for compliments.

And having seen many people younger than me die from brutal illnesses, I will always be grateful to be healthy and alive. Getting older is a privilege and a damn sight better than the alternative.

If you pose in or next to a car it's either not yours or you're showing off - either way, you're making it easy for me to swipe left

Lol, I drive a crappy old Ford, I think most ppl would swipe left if a posted a pic of that !

Got a date zero Friday night, have also finally got my decree absolute through so I’m hoping that this is a good sign for a new beginning! The date is with Mr Tiller, we’ve been chatting since the weekend, I really hope we hit it off

@ButterflyOfShay

Happy belated birthday at lovely *@Stepcount*!! Hope you had a splendid and magical day 😍🎂💖🎈🎁🎉 xxx

Aww, thank you Shay. I had a good day but decided to delay celebrating fully until my older DD is home from uni in a couple of weeks.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Haha I’m tempted to put my battered Ford focus as profile pic

@Stepcount Happy Birthday🎂🥳
Enjoy your celebrations when they happen.

It never occurred to me to have a pic taken next to my car. It’s not a bad one but a very practical family car, with the messiest, muddiest interiors you can imagine, in the way only a car with two young kids under five can get. If I go back to OLD perhaps I should take a pic of me inside - what you see is what you get

[quote SortingItOut]@Stepcount Happy Birthday🎂🥳
Enjoy your celebrations when they happen.[/quote]
Thank you 😊

@Eesha, are you still managing to keep the good chat flowing? When people are ill or under the weather it’s always a challenge to keep things feeling okay between you. I’m sure Mr Music hasn’t switched off his interest but merely that other things are sapping his energy and have become his focus for the time being. I’ve experienced this a few times with Mr V. It may seem a perverse thing to say but actually seeing how people react in more difficult times is good and when you come through it you feel stronger for the experience. 3 weeks of not being FTF is not ideal but hold tight ,be the supportive person that you are and fingers crossed you’ll be back in a better place soon.

🤦🏻‍♀️ Sorry that is a cross over post between this thread and the OLD grads one.