Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@ihavetogoshoppingnow I do think you should be very careful here. This happened a couple of times to me and I think it's when they have partners who might be away. His story really does sound dubious.

@ihavetogoshoppingnow I met a really nice guy on a train once. We got the same train to work every day. I got to know him very well over 6 months! We sat next to each other every day. He was gorgeous and I was a bit smitten. Then one day he said to me he was getting married in a month. NO mention or hint of any woman whatsoever in his life up til that point. It was extremely weird. Luckily I have a great poker face!! I was really gutted. Men can be really great at hiding things..

I agree with the others and would be very wary. I once had a guy disappear for a day and it showed he hadn't been online either. When he came back he told me he'd been jumped at the cinema and had his phone taken. I was doubtful at the time and he later proved to be a liar. I wasted weeks on him and never did actually meet him.

The good thing is these twats show you who they are early on. Gives you the red warning signs (not that we always heed them!)

@ButterflyOfShay bet train guy was enjoying flirting with you and didn’t want to put you off

@PurpleStripyScarf
I’m not using the apps either, the lady I’ve mentioned on here as ms Carvery, was a friend of friend kinda thing.

@Caramelblonde, not sure what happens at 60, I suspect my bits will shrivel up and drop off through lack of use

@ihavetogoshoppingnow
Another person saying be careful.
But saying that if I lost my phone I would be a bit stuck as well, would have to get another sim & handset and restore my numbers etc from backup,

@ihavetogoshoppingnow Seems plausible (for now). How many people can just afford to replace a phone? If he's gone via insurance it might take a while to get a new one.

I upgraded my phone recently and the phone took 2 weeks to arrive,luckily my other phone is working still.

My only dubious thought is that if he's an electrician, which implies self employed how is he getting work in or contacting customers?

Hello! Can I join the OLD party?

Had a flirtation with a maths teacher hereby called ‘mr maths’. His messages were thick and fast until I clocked that we were doing nothing but that - messaging! For weeks! Along with the vague hint of meeting up from his side I clocked on that he was likely wasting my time and finding time to meet up with friends (thank you IG). He was clearly taken aback by me not responding to his last question and keeps dropping into my DMs with vague little quips.

Then I’ve matched with an outdoorsy dad who I’m likely to see this weekend. I did say I wouldn’t date someone with DC but realise that men in their early thirties (ie my age) are likely to have kids and it’s not as though I’d meet them straight away. He’s very flirty so could be good tonic. We’ll see.

I Have the option of a second meeting with a lovely, dry humoured chap who I met last weekend. I didn’t feel a spark but he wants to see me. He did make me laugh but it felt more pally than romantic! Not helped by the sight of him picking up dog poo from his canine campanion - don’t judge me! Do I give it another meeting? I’ve always said meet someone three times to allow things to develop but now I’m that bit older I don’t know if that’s the right thing…

It’s frustrating because I know if I lost my phone it could take me a while to get my shit together to get a new one etc and could be complete genuine. If he is living a double life he’s not doing a very good job of it 😂

@SortingItOut he’s not self employed he works for a construction company so ison site and presumably knows where he’s going in advance etc

From what he’d told me (if true) it’s larger industrial sites rather than peoples homes

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I’m 60 this year so way older in years than you, but I don’t feel old at all. Even when I ache from PT workouts I don’t attribute it to age but to my amazing body working through the abuse I inflict on it to come back stronger! I feel wise though, and a bit pitying of younger people who have the toughest years - 30s and 40s - ahead of them. And I feel incredibly lucky to still be here - plenty of my contemporaries haven’t made it this far. Moaning about being old would be an insult to my friends and family who don’t have that choice because they are dead. Celebrate your life. Stop moaning.

@Stayingstrongish yeah I reckon he totally thought I was going to make a move but because of what I vowed myself to never do again after my ex (doing the chasing, making the effort, throwing myself at him) I just waited to see what happened. The sheer ability of him to never once drop any signal that he was in a serious rship was unbelievable. You know when you chat about your weekend you’d even say WE did this or whatever. Not a flipping peep but something was telling me to wait as if he liked me he’d ask me out for a drink or whatever… he clearly wasn't going to be able to hide a brand new shiny wedding ring so guess he had to mention it. What a snake.. shame for the poor woman he married.

Am going to try giving up some socials for Lent ... including Instagram and this thread.

I'll still be on OLD grads

Enjoy 👋🏻 and good luck 🤞🏽 to everyone

To be fair if he did lose his phone on site he’s probably had no time or opportunity to sort out a new one. Guess time will tell on this one @ihavetogoshoppingnow!!

Ive got a neighbour who’s in her mid 50s and always always brings up her age. Its so tedious I mean why do that?? She looks good too and is funny and witty. Just banging on about age becomes quite draining..

@Badbaddog I feel like my life becomes more and more amazing with each decade. I had a bit of a miserable childhood. Fucked up horrible teens. Messy chaotic 20s. Getting a lot more sorted in 30s. 40s is beautiful so far!! Yay! 😆💗

ihavetogoshoppingnow

All I will say is these chaps and old need to make us smile 😊 and be happier
Sounds like you had a great build up to the date , a great date but you have been stressing about him ever since
And not smiling
So just be mindful of that dear
As that’s the most important thing

@ButterflyOfShay your upward trajectory sounds marvellous, well done! My life dipped in my 30s and 40s because of the sheer weight of responsibilities I had, I guess that comes with DC and I have no regrets at all - but it’s easier now!

Inspired by our journey to sobriety in January, I’m going pescatarian for Lent - positively taking it up rather than negatively ‘giving up’ red meat/chicken 😊

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow, I’ve seen your photos and there is nothing old man about you. I also don’t necessarily hear ‘ I dislike being old’ when I read your posts but more someone who is a bit fed up with searching for something/someone and finding this stage in your life to not be as fulfilled as you might hope. I guess what you can take from the comments on here is that many women would find the references to age as being rather downbeat. I’m sure IRL you give good date 😉
I turned 55 yesterday and am definitely someone who feels full of life and not remotely old. I never attribute any low mood to my age, always circumstances. The huge responsibilities and challenges of parenthood and loss over the last 10 years are finally beginning to feel like something I am about to come out the other side of. The restrictions have only served to make me more determined to seize the day going forward.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

That’s exactly how I’m feeling 😩 I was on cloud nine Friday night after our date and since then I’ve just been on edge. It’s definitely better than I was feeling at the weekend though, what will be will be and all that. I’m taking a break from pursuing anyone else for now and I’ll see how things look by the end of the week ☺️

I’m not having much luck with OLD, I joined Bumble and reinstalled Tinder but haven’t had much luck with Bumble. I have one iron on Tinder and one on POF but the one on POF lives too far away. I was chatting to someone else on POF last week but because I didn’t reply to his messages straight away he called me a “f**king C&ck” and then blocked me (what a lovely person). At the moment I have no dates lined up.

Lovemusic33
May his penis be infected and fall off
That’s so nasty 🤢

Old man on his bike

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Old man on his bike

That's an excellent dating profile picture, you will attract women interested in that sort of stuff. And for those of us who aren't we'll know you're not a match for us.

I actively avoid men with photos of motorbikes on their profiles. I don't have any issue with men who have bikes (my ex did, my dss does, MrWG does) but I find that men who would put a photo of a motorbike on their dating profile are slightly more in love with their bike than I would want to live with.