Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@ButterflyOfShay I'm sorry to read that meeting your friend brought up some uncomfortable memories.
She sounds like a lovely person who really cares for you and she took you to her topnotch gym for eye candy - that's a true friend😂

Some of us have had really tough lives and it's fine to wallow sometimes, as long as its not all the time its all good.

When does your counselling start?

Boiledcabbages
Welcome !
I’d just use your exact wording
‘Your a lovely guy but I didn’t feel the right chemistry’

Regarding phone numbers I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ intend to only give to people I trust and like and to be honest I don’t see a major risk
We can block anyway

@Thisisworsethananticpated thank you. I just feel bad as in giving him my number I gave him the idea that I wanted to see him again when I knew I wouldn't. I'm seriously going to have to grow a backbone 😂 although I'm proud of myself for going as that in itself was quite a big deal for me.

[quote Stayingstrongish]@HowlongWillThisTakeNow the date sounds promising! Chuckled at the ‘very Radio Times’ description. Hope you get a yes back from her soon for your second date. How did she manage to feel your bum while holding your arm by the way?![/quote]
Yes likewise I'd like to find out a bit more about this manoeuvre please @HowlongWillThisTakeNow. Perhaps a step-by-step guide? 😆

@Boiledcabbages For the phone number you can say 'I don't like to give out my number early on, I'm happy to keep messaging on the app'

For not seeing him again 'I had a lovely time but I'm not feeling it. Good luck with dating'

@ButterflyOfShay his profile/pictures still there so doesn’t look like I’ve been blocked and it’s not that I cant see him online his last seen is still set at Friday night. I just can’t seem to let it go, I know you can’t know someone in a week but he seemed to be one of best people I’d spoken to/met in a while. Sigh. Have the DC back today so that leaves less time for thinking and checking so hopefully I can distract myself enough to forget

Long time lurker. @ihavetogoshoppingnow the one tick status on WA over the weekend normally means he has a second phone, turned off all weekend. That’s my experience at least.

@Stayingstrongish @PurpleStripyScarf
Well, we were walking in an area that I think has livestock sometimes, as we had to get through a kissing gate and there were some people coming the other way, so we kinda stood just off the path to let them through 1st, so has to unlink as such, it was bit muddy behind me, I think she meant to put her hand behind me to stop me stepping backwards, but I think might have misjudged and copped a sneaky feel! (Or I just imagined it), either way unexpected, and quite pleasant !

Anyhow, she has accepted my dinner invitation for Friday, so hopefully she will cop another feel !

Question for anyone,
Horses, do they need a lot of looking after ?

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow Yes a lot of looking after. If she does it all herself it will be at least a few hours morning and night.
Some people pay extra for livery where the livery owner does some of the feeding and turning out.

Ohh, what’s a kissing gate, like the sound of that.

@Boiledcabbages That message sounds fine, in my (limited experience) blokes just delete and ghost if they don’t want to see you. It’s very thoughtful of you to message saying that there isn’t a connection. As for giving out numbers, I wouldn’t think on it much personally. There isn’t much he can do with a mobile number, it is easy to block someone. Welcome to the thread :)

Thank you @Knutface and @SortingItOut. I would like to treat others how I would like to be treated. Ghosting sounds wrong but hey I'm new to this. @HowlongWillThisTakeNow I have a horse but he lives out so no stables to worry about and I share the field with 2 other women. We all take it in turns to see to them so my horse life is more like twice in the week (45 mins) at the yard and then a couple of hours riding at the weekend if it's nice and I want to.

Fascinated as to what very radio times means? A good thing? Glad your date went well @HowlongWillThisTakeNow and the next one is pencilled in.

@ihavetogoshoppingnow hope you’re feeling ok about things today and kids are working as a distraction.

Boiledcabbages
Your spot on
I don’t ghost either
It’s a shifty shit way to behave
Just say ‘thanks but no thanks’
Fucks sake

@MayEye I’m feeling okay. Still think it’s weird he’s been completely offline and hoping an explanation will come out at some point but trying not to obsess. Think I’m taking a break from dating though as this would be just another in a long line of ghosting and it’s wearing me down

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow impressed by your date’s moves, will have to try that one! Glad she said yes!

@Knutface
A kissing gate is no as exciting as you think, it’s a pedestrian gate on a public footpath that allows people but stops livestock (often sheep),; called a kissing gate as the as inside bit only just kisses the outside, but only person can get through at a time

@MayEye think of the kind of people who might read the radio times, all very nice and polite.

I think she shares the horse with another women, or that seemed to be impression I got, is that a thing ppl don?

[quote Stayingstrongish]@HowlongWillThisTakeNow impressed by your date’s moves, will have to try that one! Glad she said yes![/quote]
Lol,
We have a date planned for Friday, hopefully she will show me some more moves !

@Thisisworsethananticpated love the sound of your back on the horse today, its been a beautiful day how was your gym trip? Hope youre feeling good ☺️

Thanks lovely @SortingItOut first appt with the psychiatrist on friday!! I feel really ready for it now. Feel like I’ve come a helluva long way in the last few months and this will just hopefully strengthen it all.

Welcome @Boiledcabbages I bloody love your username 😆 its very sexy!! hehe 😍

Yay @HowlongWillThisTakeNow all sounding positive! Was the walk fun, did you feel like it was a better vibe than the carvery date?

@ihavetogoshoppingnow nothing helpful to say but do feel for you!! It’s shitty behaviour and I’d be really wary of the bullshit excuse when he pops up again. I would bet heavy that he will reappear.

ButterflyOfShay
Bless ya , I had a good day
Gym , a cheeky date zero (local , walk) , friend for coffee and another friend coffee
I have to say the date zero was someone’s who is local and he was a really nice guy
I’m now angry with Balkan rather than sad

How are you feeling ? Better than this morning I hope

@ButterflyOfShay
Yes, much more enjoyable thanks, I think the decent weather really lifted our spirits compared to last week’s storms, good to get out in the sun, makes the world a better place

@ButterflyOfShay I will be wary, he’s not been back on apps either yet so I’ll see if he comes back on etc. I’ve been at this for nearly 3 years so I’ve had ghostings that seem to make no sense before I just don’t know why this one’s nagging at me

Yeah thanks @Thisisworsethananticpated loads brighter too. Well done for getting back out there and getting a nice little date zero in!! 😁

@Boiledcabbages

Thank you *@Knutface and @SortingItOut. I would like to treat others how I would like to be treated. Ghosting sounds wrong but hey I'm new to this. @HowlongWillThisTakeNow* I have a horse but he lives out so no stables to worry about and I share the field with 2 other women. We all take it in turns to see to them so my horse life is more like twice in the week (45 mins) at the yard and then a couple of hours riding at the weekend if it's nice and I want to.

Wow your horse life sounds very chilled 😜😁

I used to average about 12 hours pw at the yard / riding and that was with livery. Clearly went very wrong somewhere 🤪🤷🏻‍♀️

Really really miss it and need to get another pony in the next year or so

@BelladiMamma it really is a great way to do it. In the summer I could be there all weekend after we have exercised them, chatting with the others and drinking coffee and just enjoying being there but don't 'have' to be.

[quote Boiledcabbages]@BelladiMamma it really is a great way to do it. In the summer I could be there all weekend after we have exercised them, chatting with the others and drinking coffee and just enjoying being there but don't 'have' to be. [/quote]
Sounds bloody great 💙💜