Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Aww @Thisisworsethananticpated i reckon you should have a QUEEN day today. Spend the whole day pampering the beejeezus out of yourself!! 💗

I’m off to my friends extremely posh spa gym. She reckons there is always eye candy in the jacuzzi. Will be nice to go somewhere super luxurious rather than the 1970s pre fab leisure centre I have 😂😂

Can I have your day please 😂

So I’ve heard nothing since, he was going straight out last night so I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from him but were meant to be meeting for a walk this morning so, do I message him? Or wait and see if he does 😩

ihavetogoshoppingnow

This reminds me of the best dating advice

If a guy likes you , you’ll know it
And if he doesn’t you’ll be confused

You could send a fast ‘hey are we having a walk ‘
?

I know that’s true but I also know I have a tendency to overthink and assume the worst so my guts not always reliable. He’s been super consistent so far, I’ve sent a quick text it’s not delivered but his profiles still there so I don’t think I’ve been blocked he doesn’t seem to have been online today so assuming he’s still in bed/hungover etc so I’ll just have to wait and see I guess we didn’t have a solid plan/time

@ihavetogoshoppingnow I never understand men who organise a date the morning after they're out out.
I think they're so keen to impress and get dates booked in they forget that there is a high chance they'll be hungover/still asleep.
And of course as soon as they 'miss' the date they've let the person down who probably won't want to see them again.

I did worry he might be hungover and not make it it was more of it being the only time we could meet around work/DC it was the original (rescheduled) date we had made last night was more last minute

@Thisisworsethananticpated, hope your cuts and head aren’t hurting after last night’s drinking. Maybe a day to chill and regroup mentally and physically?
@ihavetogoshoppingnow, hopefully your iron will get back to you soon. It’s never great to be in any kind of limbo about whether a suggested date is going ahead. Sorry I have started typing and without scrolling back is this date 2 ?

Yeah it’s the limbo that just sparks my anxiety. Trying not to sit and think about it and drive myself mad. Yes 2nd date, we met after work yesterday for a quick coffee as more of a spontaneous date because we were both free today was the originally planned date

All ... be kind to yourself!

So I've seen Mr Karaoke twice more. He messages everyday and we have a good laugh and good sex. I've been clear that as he's asked for FWB status I'm still dating.

I've been off and on chatting to Mr Accountant for ages, we've had one coffee. He's genuinely lovely but our parent schedules do not match. We did manage to catch up for a quick hot chocolate after work last night and a couple of kisses. It was nice and we chatted on the phone at bedtime. He says he's really interested in me. I had a wee worry as his body type isn't what I'd usually go for, he's very slim and not particularly tall. Now I don't mind that at all - but I think it's social conditioning because I'm a curvy 16. He says my figure is perfect. I'll just see how it goes. Lives 30/40 minutes drive away but works in my city twice a week.

I'm also chatting to Mr Curly Wurly who is hilarious - lives an hour drive away, he went quiet for a while but I found out it's because he had back surgery so yeah we'll give him a chance. No date planned yet but have spoken on the phone and between his very broad Glasgow accent and my Geordie one we are quite funny. I'll give it til next week to see if a date is planned.

Stepcount
I’m dedicating today to my sons ! Just been to sports now booking cinema
Got totally obsessed with Baltic
Madness
And then girlfriends zoom later

Definitely having hiatus and regroup

cravingthelook
Good updates

Well it’s been 7 hours text still hasn’t delivered, he’s not been online or on the apps but profiles still there. He was meant to be working at 4 so thought if he was hungover somewhere I’d at least of heard by then, so now I’m just confused

I love this thread, single again after 4 year relationship and will at some point be OLD, not quite ready yet but love reading all your antics. Does anyone try and date with kids at home every night and no dad visits? I mean older teenagers which can be left on the odd occasion, obviously I can't invite anyone in after a good night 😄🤷‍♀️

Back on the apps, chatting to two men that on first impression seemed nice. Surprise, surprise it now transpires that one of these isn’t single, arghh. Wtf is wrong with these vile creatures? Chatting away, I mention that a lot of men OLD are married liars and he admits that he still lives with his wife but they live separate lives! Deleted and blocked. The other one seems ok, Mr Tiller, will hopefully line up a date for next weekend.

[hmm]@Lollysticks12 I do, it’s a bit difficult but at least it weeds out the type that still live with their parents or in a house share! If I want a shag at my house I have to take a day off work and it needs to be during school hours lol

@Lollysticks12

I love this thread, single again after 4 year relationship and will at some point be OLD, not quite ready yet but love reading all your antics. Does anyone try and date with kids at home every night and no dad visits? I mean older teenagers which can be left on the odd occasion, obviously I can't invite anyone in after a good night 😄🤷‍♀️

Hi @Lollysticks12 and welcome! Yes I have a similar situation. It relies on either finding someone who can host, or staying at hotels. It's not ideal but it's workable. Good luck with it! Keep us posted and keep asking questions if you have any

@ihavetogoshoppingnow what happened with the date?

[quote Eesha]@ihavetogoshoppingnow what happened with the date?[/quote]
I haven’t heard from him all day 🤷🏼‍♀️ The message I sent at 10am still hasn’t delivered but I haven’t been blocked he’s not been online since yesterday so I’m not really sure what’s happened. When he dropped me off yesterday he confirmed plans for today and he seemed genuine and keen and now I’m just confused as to whether it was all bulshit or if somethings genuinely happened to him, or at least his phone

@ihavetogoshoppingnow I would say bullshit sadly only because this kind of thing has happened to me before. Perhaps hungover?

I’ve had it happen all too many times too, It just seems odd for him to have not been online since yesterday and message hasn’t delivered. I hate not knowing I’d rather be blocked and at least know it’s a no

I’d take charge and send a message saying ‘hey not heard from you , so assume no second date ‘ have a nice life’
Then delete contact
He either replies with a very very good apology
Or you have your answer he’s a rude twat

Then you don’t need to wait

It sucks , I’ve been really busy today but also back at staring for a text that won’t ever come from Balkan Baltic
I know rationally I’m sleep deprived and hungover
But feels shitty

I feel like I’m waiting because messages haven’t delivered so I can’t know he has ghosted or whatever if he hasn’t received them or been online at all since etc. It doesn’t help I’ve had nothing else on today my friends are away on a holiday I couldn’t go on and another friend was meant to go out tonight but canceled so I’ve had a shit day all round. If he’s gone then it’s my last straw datings meant to be fun and all I’ve done the last 2 months is be utterly miserable over men 🤦🏼‍♀️

ihavetogoshoppingnow
I’m sorry to hear that
I emphasise

I do question whether this week of feeling shit is worth the 5 happy weeks I had ?
Right now doesn’t feel that way

Have been lurking on here since I went back on the apps about a month ago.

Had a coffee date zero on Monday. Seemed really nice, walked me to my car and gave me a brief peck on the cheek. Said he’d like to see me again.

Messaged when we got home and agreed we’d both like to meet up again. He travels with work, messaged me on Wednesday to say did I want to do something at the weekend, i said yes and we agreed we’d try and meet early doors yesterday depending what time he got back from work ( I have teen DS with me this weekend so can only do daytime or very early evening).

He then messaged yesterday morning to say work wise it wasn’t looking good to get away early so could we do this afternoon instead.

I said that was good with me and why didn’t he message me when he was back home so we could sort it out.

Have heard nothing since.

Do I just leave it, assume he is dating others and got a ‘better’ option?

Do I follow up as it seems weird that he instigated the contact and meeting up again has now just disappeared?

I’m trying to do the sit back and not chase but it’s so annoying when this happens!