@ButterflyOfShay another vote for therapy - I've found it very useful.
So a quick update with Miss S... she's been in touch to ask if we could talk about things, as things happened so fast at the weekend that she didn't say everything she wanted to say. The things she put in her last message surprised me really, as they were pretty much my thoughts too. I do wonder if there's something worth salvaging here, as we're both very similar to each other in so many ways and it's hard to say what was wrong - it just felt that there wasn't that amazing spark/excitement that I crave.
We do have a lot in common, but I just worry that I've never really been that into her - but with previous relationships some of that "being into them" feeling has been down to them being unavailable, and they haven't worked out either.
But I haven't felt that desperate sadness since we ended it that I've felt with previous breakups, although some of that I'm sure is that I know she wants to give it another go.
So I'm torn really - on one hand we like similar things, get on well, the physical side is really good, she doesn't mind me spending time doing my own thing sometimes (and she enjoys getting involved in my main hobby sometimes too), plus we don't fight or argue. The downside is that she's just a little bit too laid back and maybe I take advantage of that by being quite lazy in our relationship, and hence feel there's no excitement.
But also I had to be interviewed by someone today on the phone, and they sounded so lovely and bubbly I'd have dated them just based on our chat alone! I think I need someone who's a little bit bubbly just to bring that side of me out, and Miss S is very much like me in that she's not that bubbly at all.