Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Bangheadhere40 sounds like a good test. What will you do if you do get more interest?

Hmm, if that happens I'll tell them. So far I'm definitely getting more likes so we'll see!

Figured it was cheaper than moving 😄

Hey @TheCatWithTheHat! Long time.. great to see you! Though sorry your time with MissSaigon has come to an end 😟 hope you're ok??

@Bangheadhere40 never think it’s you!! Don’t say that! I tried the apps loads of times and never had any luck. It’s not you! It’s them 😵‍💫

Bangheadhere40
That’s a good move
I’m London and you def have more fish in the pool
Many fish 🐠
And it’s weird
One weekend I got 11 likes from 24 year olds
Then nothing
I also think get boosted if you pay
So sit back and watch it roll 😂

@Bangheadhere40 Sounds like a good idea! It is definitely not you, I found it impossible to meet anyone I was more than vaguely interested in for a long, long time.
@TheCatWithTheHat A break up is always difficult even when you were the one who instigated it. As someone else said, it sounds like you were honest and dealt with it well. Hope you are doing ok.

Hey @TheCatWithTheHat sorry you've been ill but congrats on the new job. Yes, if you weren't 100% in you did the right thing. It is never easy but keeping it going is the easy option that never ends well. I know - did that 16 years ago and ended up on an awful marriage.

I've been very sporadically here. After my last disaster I'm just getting on with stuff for a while and trying to not focus on relationships.

I also started a new job so that and getting some stuff done in the house are good things to focus on.

Can I ask people’s views on multi dating? I have been on a few dates each with two guys who are both really nice and I’m enjoying their company. But how long is it acceptable to do this for? It feels strange but I know it has become part of modern dating and it’s possible that they are seeing others as well. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but at the same time I have been hurt before by getting over invested too early and am enjoying the freedom to be honest. Should I tell them? They haven’t asked if I’m seeing other people

Riotousassembly
Maybe until you start getting intimate
With whoever is the lucky man ?
Maybe you are already if so
I don’t know

Speaking of the horrible apps

Few people are loosely chatting about TRYING SPEED DATING IN LONDON at some point, anyone interested PM me or Purple or shout up. No solid plan yet, maybe spring?

@ReturnOfTheBunk

Speaking of the horrible apps

Few people are loosely chatting about TRYING SPEED DATING IN LONDON at some point, anyone interested PM me or Purple or shout up. No solid plan yet, maybe spring?

Oh don't PM me - I only use the app and I don't know where to find PMs (not sure they're accessible via the app??) so I won't see/answer them - but yes definitely message Bunk and join us for some speed-dating!

I wont do the speed dating but I’ll come meet you for a coffee / drink / bite to eat @ReturnOfTheBunk @PurpleStripyScarf, let me know what dates you book if anything 🙂

@Startingover37 how’s it going with the iron you met recently and really liked??

Oh and HAPPY VALENTINES everyone 😂 I couldn’t help but wake up feeling all cheery, despite no irons I’ve got lots of single female friends and it’s still nice sending lovey dovey texts and memes 😍😂😂💘💘

Happy Valentine's Day❤
Sending love to all threaders💜

So just like clockwork, yesterday I had the 'must dump Mr K' mindset. We'd had a great few evenings together and then yesterday there it was proving that its not about time together.
Checked my tracker and 💥 ovulation time.
Luckily only lasts a day and today I feel great again.

So for those who feel meh sometimes about their relationship get tracking your cycles.

Morning @ButterflyOfShay Happy Valentine's Day to you too!

Nothing to report unfortunately. He is away on an already booked holiday. He had mentioned that he was going away and has sent a few brief messages/holiday pictures. We, obviously, haven't met since and he's not back until next week.

I've come down from my initial high, I'm keeping myself busy with my own stuff and trying not to think too much. I'm cautiously optimistic but I think it's given me a boost either way, to know there will be guys out there that I find attractive and interesting, as I hadn't met any at all until now.

Any update on IT guy? Did you manage to get chatting?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! ❤️

@SortingItOut so glad you know that’s what it is! I still think you deserve more time though so can’t blame the egg for making you feel that way every month 🥺

@Startingover37 that’s so cool! So nice to have something in the background to feel a bit excited about! Not been in the office at all and not due to go in til March now so won’t have sight of MrIT til then. My love life is utterly dormant but like all good volcanos, it will wake up and cause mayhem one of these days 🤣

Happy Valentines!

Morning all and HVD to everyone no matter your relationship status

All been a bit quiet here, am in that hinterland post-iron where I'm sort of on the apps and sort of wondering if I should delete them ALLLLL. Chatting to one guy on Feeld with loose plans to meet for a coffee after half term as we're both away. But yet again he lives an hour away, this would probably be a FWB type thing, and can I do that sort of thing without getting attached/involved? (Rhetorical question; am pretty sure I know the answer!)

Other than that have been ploughing through building work at home, dealing with work stresses, etc. I think I could probably do with at least 6 months of no romantic attachment and to focus on myself... the question is whether I can shoehorn an ongoing sex thing into that because if I could, that would be ideal.

Having said that, I'd be up for speed dating in London although not sure we'd fall into the same age bracket @ReturnOfTheBunk @PurpleStripyScarf or how it works in general..!?

@ibelieveinmirrorballs

Morning all and HVD to everyone no matter your relationship status

All been a bit quiet here, am in that hinterland post-iron where I'm sort of on the apps and sort of wondering if I should delete them ALLLLL. Chatting to one guy on Feeld with loose plans to meet for a coffee after half term as we're both away. But yet again he lives an hour away, this would probably be a FWB type thing, and can I do that sort of thing without getting attached/involved? (Rhetorical question; am pretty sure I know the answer!)

Other than that have been ploughing through building work at home, dealing with work stresses, etc. I think I could probably do with at least 6 months of no romantic attachment and to focus on myself... the question is whether I can shoehorn an ongoing sex thing into that because if I could, that would be ideal.

Having said that, I'd be up for speed dating in London although not sure we'd fall into the same age bracket @ReturnOfTheBunk @PurpleStripyScarf or how it works in general..!?

Ah that's a good point @ibelieveinmirrorballs - I'd be aiming at the 40s age range. I've seen a few that are 30-50.

Happy Valentine's Day all!

@ButterflyOfShay I love that way of looking at it, my love life was also a VERY dormant volcano for a long time. Bring on the mayhem!
Hope you are enjoying working from home? Have a great day x

@SortingItOut That is so interesting about the doubting feelings creeping in at a certain point in your cycle. Great that you are aware of it and can just wait for it to pass. Bloody hormones have a lot to answer for!

Morning all! And remember: if he's mostly a dick, but pulls out all the stops for V day, he's still mostly a dick. If he's mostly lovely, but doesn't make V day special, he's still mostly lovely.

True dat
I’ve just texted my iron , my 22 year old , my gay friend , a crazy ex and my builder
I need a favour from builder so wearing a sexy top and making coffee for him just in case

Could be worse !!!!

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Morning all! And remember: if he's mostly a dick, but pulls out all the stops for V day, he's still mostly a dick. If he's mostly lovely, but doesn't make V day special, he's still mostly lovely.

Very wise words indeed.

I’m not seeing Mr B today or for the next two weeks, though he dropped off my card abd VD pressie (chocolates, perfect) on Friday. It’s bad timing as things are shit with my youngest DD and I could do with him here.

I had an old schoolfriend to stay and made the mistake of opening an envelope in front of her on Saturday. It was a very funny but rude Thortful card from my favourite former iron. I thought it was hilarious but she was all prissy and judgemental, like I shouldn’t allow my postie to deliver a card from a man when I’m in a relationship with someone else. It was a loooong weekend after that. Bloody Catholic upbringing.

Well after my moaning yesterday I matched and got a message from someone which resulted in 5 hours of constant back and forth chat which was going really well, until he stopped replying mid conversation in the evening and this morning he’s gone 🙃

Happy Valentine’s Day toooo meeee