Met a wonderful man. But...

[Hadharra]

He smells! I don't know what it is, but it's almost like mould. He showers once a day and twice if he's been at work. When I've spent a few days with him his hygiene is impeccable. I'm not sure if it's because he eats a lot of garlic, has a mould problem, or leaves his hair wet etc, but I don't think I can do it. Wtf do I do? I can't dump someone I Really like and could actually see myself settling down with, who my son likes, because he smells? Do I tell him? Ffs this is so daft!

It is his clothes. We've had the odd problem with drying clothes this winter. Clothes need to be dried in a warm room.

Does he still smell when naked?

@Hadharra

Oh god I have to tell him don't I. I'd be really upset if it were me. How do I do it?!

Tell him you read an article about adding white vinegar to a wash to keep clothes smelling fresh, give him a bottle and encourage him to use it - yep, it actually works!

my other half has a terrible sweating problem in summer .He's the perfect guy but just needed help.We found out using dettol bar soap before using a nice smelling soap and talc to dry himself fixes it.It sounds like the problem maybe his washer.I would just visit his home and pop a few milton tablets on a plain hot wash.Tell him your clothes smelt a bit musty so thought your machine needed a clean.Happens to mine so i do it every few months

It's probably his clothes. He's leaving them in the machine too long. He needs to get them out straight away to be aired. Just tell him. Don't dump him because of it, it's easily fixable.

If he looks like this chap in the picture, then you're dating Fungus the Bogeyman.

@Namast3

Sorry you'll be on mumsnet in a years time saying how he's let himself go and how unhygienic he is. Let this one go.

OK wise one

Stick a peg on your nose whenever he comes near you, it’s more subtle then telling him he smells

This guy probably can't smell the smell. He's clean and washing his clothes, he's not a slob! Op if he's a nice man and you like him just get him a tumble dryer or something, I wouldn't let him go over something like this. If he wasn't showering or washing his clothes I would!

Clothes left hanging outside on a clothes line in the ran that then dry off when it stops raining can smell funny.
I agree too about clothes left too long in the machine after a wash will smell and need rewashing.

left out in the rain

I wish there was an edit button.

I'm all for calling out actual bastards on MN and helping women see the red flags she's been ignoring but COME ON. This guy has just got used to his own smell and doesn't realise it's offputting. There are plenty of women like this too.

A gentle 'by the way, your clothes smell a bit damp, are you drying them properly?' should do the trick, and if it's the same next time, ask again until he sorts it out.

@BobHadBitchTits

My clothes smell musty if they been in the shelve section of my wardrobe for too long. I've tried everything to stop it but the only thing that works is washing the clothes again. Bloody annoying!

Fitted wardrobe? We have those here from when we moved in, and they smell, everything in them picks up the smell. Fusty. I'm using the ones that haven't been taken out yet for crates rather then clothes..... The room where we took them out doesn't smell at all no they are gone. Odd, because the walls in both cases were inside walls, except at one end.

The chipboard from the ones we took out still smells, even after being stored in the garage for 2 years.... but bits of it we use in the house elsewhere for temporary shelving seem fine now.

If he’s wonderful and hygienic then I wouldn’t say anything.

I would tactfully leave an item of clothing to go smelly and when’s round day oh no my clothes have taken too long to dry and now they smell - don’t you hate that, I need to remember to wash less items next time

It could be his home.
My home is very damp. Even if I wash and dry my clothes properly they will still go mouldy and smell of damp if I put them in my drawers for too long.

I think you should just say to him that you have a sensitive nose and his clothes smell a bit weird and suggest it could be his machine etc.

Could you subtly have a sniff of his machine and see how it smells?

I should add, most fitted wardrobes are fine. We found behind our fitted wardrobes there was no plaster, only plasterboard- I think that may be the cause of the fusty smell, despite them having have a very thin plywood back.

There's the best and cheapest solution to this.

Throw a capful of white vinegar into the drum before putting the clothes in the washer.

It even eradicates the stale BO smell of my 14yr old DDs t-shirts.

I now use it instead of fabric conditioner.

Yes it will definitely be his washing or washing machine. Or the possibility that his sheets need changing a bit more frequently. I wouldn't give up a relationship because of this, I think I'd be brave and mention it. It's fixable, I'm sure (and not remotely the same as fixing somebody)

Buy him new clothes and check how he smells in them. If it's all ok then all the posters above are correct & you just need to follow the advice.

I'd tell him.

If you've established it's his clothes, best thing is just to be honest with him and help him sort out the problem.

He sounds like a lovely man and it would be a real shame to break up with him over this! No-one's perfect and this sounds like an easy problem to fix.

Just tell him straight that his clothes (not him) smell a little musty and it might be his machine, where/how he dries or stores his clothes. Give him and hand to sort things, maybe suggest he runs all his favourite items through your machine. Suggest he uses a strong scented softener to freshen everything. Comfort Ultra concentrated is fab for this.

....and then live happily ever after. He sounds like good one.

Say that you've got a really weirdly sensitive sense of smell and that you notice/struggle with things that other people don't (if you put it on you he won't be so embarrassed?) - but that his clothes smell musty and damp to you and you think it could be his washing machine!

If you've kinda said you know you're sensitive then it will be easier to keep bringing it up if it takes a while for the message to sink in...

Another vote for clothes. My brother used to wash his clothes and then leave them damp in the basket, not immediately putting out or in the tumble dryer. He got immune to the smell but it was disgusting and the whole house smelt. He was clean, clothes were clean, but just no.

My chap has this, it’s just how he dries his clothes, again in a small cold room. He’s definitely improved since I got together with him and when he moves up to nearer me, hopefully he will have some outdoor space to dry and air his things.

Like you, I’ve found a lovely man, he just struggles to air his clothes properly in his current home. It’s not neglect, it’s not indicative of some terrible character flaw, it’s just cramped living conditions and having few options where he is.

Oh, and if clothes smell damp and they are still wet and you put them I; the washing machine they come out smelling the same. If you dry the damp smelling clothes and then wash, some magic happens and they no longer smell!