Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i don`t think i can take this much longer

812 replies

mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 20:56

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 07/02/2008 22:19

macdoodle how are you and the girls?

They just dont see it do they, its as if they shut off from daddy mode as soon as they leave the front door, and we are the ones left to pick up the pieces, im so scared right now knowing i will have two DCs to bring up on my own

I should be so happy but i can`t be when i know DD is hurting so much

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 07/02/2008 22:21

brat !

OP posts:
HansieMom · 08/02/2008 02:42

Darn! I had a message written and lost it. I wanted to find out more about what therapy entails when you are dealing with a very young child. I googled using these words: "parents separate" therapy preschool. One very informative paper was written by Donald T. Saposnek, so if you add his name, you'll find that.

I just skimmed, but these things were mentioned: separation anxiety, fear of abandonment by mother (after all, he left!), play therapy with trucks (who is going where with whom), using art or clay to get child to express feelings.

If you use a contact center, they might confiscate phones. And it wouldn't look good for him to sit there yawning. Surely these meetings are observed? He'd have to try a lot harder to come off looking like an involved, caring parent.

Kimi · 09/02/2008 15:48

How are you now MOAP

ginnedup · 09/02/2008 20:14

Your poor little girl. I feel so for her and you. I thought my ex was an arse but at least he made time to see ds1 and he did his best when ds2 was born.

The dolly idea is a really good one. I remember ds1 went through a stage of saying he wanted to throw the baby in the bin when ex left. He blamed everything on the baby as it was me getting pg that triggered everything off in his little head. They do get some funny ideas, but its all so confusing for them as they don't understand why the adults are behaving like they do.

You are doing a great job, being Mum and Dad to her at the moment and he needs shooting in the privates imho!!

AnneMayesR · 09/02/2008 20:41

I agree with ginneup. Especially her last line.

As the intitial shock of it all wears off you will probably go through a phase where you feel a lot worse. Remember that these horrible feelings won't last forever though!!

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 10/02/2008 16:30

Hi everyone

Things are still not good but i`m not expecting them to get any better.

Im not letting all this get me down again (well ill try not to)

I`ve just been keeping myself and DD busy to take our minds off things.

DD is talking to me alot more now and she has slept right through the past 2 nights so i`m very

This weekend has been lovely so we have been getting loads of fresh air

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 10/02/2008 16:31

Sorry forgot, Hansiemom i will check that out when DDs in bed later thank you

OP posts:
Kimi · 12/02/2008 18:18

Hi MOAP, how is it going?

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 12/02/2008 19:27

Hi kimi everythings good thank you, you?

OP posts:
AnneMayesR · 13/02/2008 09:37

Hi MoaP! Glad to hear that everything is okay!!

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 13/02/2008 15:31

Hi AMR, i think all this good weathers helping things

OP posts:
Janos · 14/02/2008 19:43

Hi MOAP just checking in. Wonderful news about your DD, she will be ok with you around.

How is your pregnancy going?

I often do wonder how you are and what you are up to, hope that doesn't sound sad.

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 14/02/2008 19:49

Hi Janos

My pregnancy is going great thank you

I thought today i would be a complete mess but i`m not, and its not bothered me either, it would have been 5 years since we got engaged!

I bet he doesn`t even remember!

You don`t sound sad at all, i often think about the people on here who have been there for me through out all of my rants, sadness and also my happy days.

How have things been for you? x

OP posts:
Janos · 14/02/2008 20:03

Wow, that is a real milestone MOAP! Maybe he doesn't remember but really, the good thing is you got through what you thought would be a bad day without too much stress (did that make sense? ).

Things have been good for me, had a lovely weekend with DS and my folks, him running round like a l'il maniac...exhausting but lots of fun.

I've also met a nice man...very early days...don't want to jinx it by saying to much. Anyway this is your thread.

Don't we all need a good rant, sometimes?

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 14/02/2008 20:16

it makes alot of sense

I`m so glad you have met a nice man!

I hope everything goes well for you

I think i`ve ranted loads

OP posts:
Janos · 14/02/2008 20:20

I think you're entitled MOAP! Had a fair few rants myself, in the past..and sometimes even now

Janos · 14/02/2008 20:39

Glad it makes sense by the way

I knew that I was fully over things when my XP told me he was getting married.... and I managed to say 'Oh that's lovely, because you were much keener on marraige than I was.'

Bitchy I know but hey...he can take it!

It's a good feeling when you can get to that 'place' - and you will.

ginnedup · 15/02/2008 12:25

Hi MOAP.
Glad you had a good day yesterday. I did think about you and wondered if you were OK.
Valentines Day was an anniversary for me and my ex too and I felt crappy on our first V day apart. It sounds like you are well on the way to being over him.
We just need to find you a nice new man to play with now

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 15/02/2008 17:32

thank you both

I didnt shed a tear once and im so

Sorry to hear it was also an anniversary for you and your ex aswell ginnedup

I must say it was weird not seeing xp yesterday but i just kept myself busy

Im sure i didnt even cross his mind once!!

OP posts:
Kimi · 16/02/2008 20:27

MOAP please Email me, the bloody thing crashed and I have lost all my email addresses again.
I sent you an email and it bounced back and then my whole system died, could get on to the net but Email was shagged.

Please email me.
Hope you are ok xx

KatieJB · 16/02/2008 21:51

It will get better, i promise. It just takes a really long time. !17, thats outrageous, what is he playing at. I hope your babies are OK.

Kimi · 18/02/2008 20:46

Hi MOAP, hope you are ok, please get in touch xx

ginnedup · 20/02/2008 20:46

Hello MOAP? Hope everything is alright.
x

Kimi · 21/02/2008 08:33

MOAP, getting worried now, please post or email xx