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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i don`t think i can take this much longer

812 replies

mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 20:56

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

OP posts:
Janos · 27/12/2007 21:51

Also...what kind of woman, I don't care what the hell age she is, involves herself with a man in his situation?

Spoilt, self obsessed brat.

Janos · 27/12/2007 21:53

Sorry to rant on when you are hurting MOAP. I really feel for you but realise this not be the most helpful reaction.

Keep posting here as you will get lots of support. Thinking of you x

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 21:55

the thing is she has saw us together as a family many times, like i say she can have the pick of the croud.

She seems very pleased with herself from the pictures i saw

He also looked very happy/pleased

I think these was took over xmas/boxing day

He doesn`t put our DD first, he was the best dad in the world.

I never wanted anything more, so why did he

There getting a place together in the new year with a friend of theres

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 21:57

janos you got it spot on about the SPOILT bit, as she is very spoilt and gets everything she wants, including my xp!

OP posts:
LoveAngelGabriel · 27/12/2007 21:58

A man who would walk out on his pregnant partner for a teenage girl? Fucking DICKHEAD. You are hurt and shocked and grieving the loss of a relationship that meant something to you. I really sympathise with you. But let me tell you now - you had a lucky escape. He is a tosser. One day soon you will look back and think 'Thank God I got rid of him'.

Janos · 27/12/2007 22:07

Agree with LAG. I just think his behaviour to you and your DD is just incomprehensible.

I can't help but wonder what his friends and family think of his behaviour. Cos I know that I wouldn't have any friends/family left who'd want anything to do with me if I behaved like this.

They will reap the consequences of their behaviour soon enough MOAP. Meanwhile you will be getting stromger and doing better for yourself and your DC's every day

Janos · 27/12/2007 22:08

And he'll also feel the consquences when his DCs want nothing to do with him because of the way he has behaved.

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 22:12

his friends are still friends with him, a also have friends that are his friends iyswim its so hard for them

He still has his family aswell he lives with his parents for now.

I still get on with his family.

Its like hes done this and totally trampled on me and hes got away with it, her family don`t know

OP posts:
notsofarnow · 27/12/2007 22:14

moap one step foreward two steps back but eventually you realise you are making progress and you are getting stronger. You are right when you say you've come such a long way already. You are strong and your dc are very lucky they have you.

The relate counsellor once said to me that it is a grieving process and when you think how long that process can take its no wonder you feel like you do.

Thinking of you hun

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 22:18

thankyou

OP posts:
Janos · 27/12/2007 22:20

It's good that you get on with his family.

I'm amazed they are allowing him to live with them and carry on with her though.

Good advice from notsofarnow I think. She's right..you are stronger than you think!

Janos · 27/12/2007 22:22

"his friends are still friends with him, a also have friends that are his friends iyswim its so hard for them"

I would be willing to bet that many don't 'approve' of his behaviour though. They probably feel a bit caught in the middle, if that's any consolation to you.

AnneMayesR · 27/12/2007 22:26

There should be laws against harming a pregnant woman the way he has. I followed your other thread and got so mad at that worthless creep!!

Moap let me know if you want my email address, you can drop me a line anytime!

mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 22:31

when my ex left I told his parents he was having an affair as he certainly wouldnt have done & then would have introduced her at a later date

plus my FIL was making out I wasnt trying hard enough to get him back so he needed to know there was an obstacle

I had a friend of exH telling me that my PND was the reason he slept with someone else - you should search the archives to see what expatofscotland and others said to that

I have a friend whose H left her when pregnant with their 2nd "when is a good time to leave" he asked.... probably dont get your wife pregnant if you dont intend to do the "for better for worse" is my answer

you're doing well and dont be too hard on yourself
your entire future has now been changed & to be honest, you need to grieve for your planned future & then you will be able to plan a new & better future with your 2 lovely DCs

big hugs to you

Janos · 27/12/2007 22:32

"There should be laws against harming a pregnant woman the way he has. I followed your other thread and got so mad at that worthless creep!!"

Ooh yes, me too! ARS*HOLE!!!

You sound absolutely lovely MOAP, if you don't mind me saying.

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 22:35

mistletoemiggins i read you threads, as you posted them on another thread on here, i think i asked you something, it was a thread about getting back with your ex`s.

Cant believe what he put you through! but im glad your happy with your new dp

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 22:36

janos thank you so much, that truely means alot right now, i just feel like i need the world to open up and swollow me right now.

He has done this at such a bad time aswell, DD`s not long had her birthday, he ruined that! then it was xmas and in 2 weeks DD starts school, and before long LO will be here

OP posts:
Janos · 27/12/2007 22:40

You're very welcome, MOAP

I'm willing to bet you will be feeling so much better by the time your LO is due.

Do you have lots of support roundabout? Friends and/or family? That really helps at times like these.

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 22:50

I do have a few friends which are his aswell which doesn`t help.

I do have a very good family who have stood by me and helped me so much since he up and left

The thing is my family are so at what he has done, my family got on with him and we did everything together holidays, days out, meals etc etc

I also got on with all of his family, never had any problems with either side

I just dont get what he thinks hes going to get from this new relationship

His parents have already said shes not welcome at his, and when her family find out i dont think he will be welcome there (but i don`t know this, maybe they will be ok with the relationship)

OP posts:
Janos · 27/12/2007 22:52

I'm willing to bet it won't all be so much 'fun' and 'exciting' when they are bought face to face with the reality of their behaviour MOAP.

Folk who behave like they do are generally not well liked.

Original poster
mummyofaprincess · 27/12/2007 23:21

i hope people do look upon them as wrong, it`s a bit hard to believe when there out everyday and night together with friends of theres like they have done no wrong.

I keep looking at my place and thinking how did he have the nurve to bring her back here, he says she didn`t want to, so then why did she come back here??

Im sure he thinks shes this little inocent thing that would never hurt anyone or anything!

OP posts:
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 23:32

sounds like coronation street

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 28/12/2007 00:43

i am in no way saying what he did was right, but you are 21, she is 17. she's not that much younger than you. people on here are making out like it's really surprising he would go for a 17 yo.

so let me get this straight, she actually knew you. i personally could never ever help a man cheat on someone especially if i was friends with them or knew them well.

in a way i hope she doesn't get bored cos then it will have all been for nothing. it's likely she won't if she knows he has children though. when i was 16 i went out with a 26 year old who had a child that lived with him (the mother was abusive to the child.) we were together a year .we split up with me cos he wanted me to go to a local uni and i didn't, not cos i got bored .

Janos · 28/12/2007 09:19

"i personally could never ever help a man cheat on someone especially if i was friends with them or knew them well. "

I think that is worse than the age thing, personally.

Running off with a 17 year old when he has all those responsbilities, children, plus a loving partner....says irresponsible amd immature to me.

Some men like younger women because they can control them more easily. More likely to put up with the bullshit.