i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

What a nasty, selfish pair. How can he flaunt his 'happiness' in front of you, how old is he mentally fgs, even a child would know this is cruel and nasty behaviour.

I can understand he felt attracted to this silly, selfish teenager, I'm sure many 'settled' men can't help a look and a little fantasy, but the point is if you have a partner, a child, and another on the way, you wouldn't go near another woman unless you were stupid/cruel/so utterly selfish it beggars belief. I know you feel you still love him, but he truly isn't worthy of you, MOAP - he really isn't. If he did come crawling back then I hope you'd laugh in his face, except I can see that for your DD's sake that would be very difficult.

I know this is no comfort at all right now, but... You are only 21, many people haven't even met their life's companion by now. You will one day meet a better man (this one is hardly a man at all) who will love you as you deserve, for you are kind, loyal and loving and a great Mum, qualities a proper man will appreciate.

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

thankyou everyone feeling a bit better today.

I think it was just the shock of seeing them together like that.

I know he will never come back and i know i would never love him the way i did, also i could never trust him 100% like before.

He has really messed everything up and i hate him for this.

DD and i are better off without him!

I haven`t heard off him since christmas day poor DD, she does miss him!

Bravo to you! and yes, poor small, puzzled DD who can't possibly understand But I bet you are giving her a simply lovely time and lots of love and attention!

Glad you are having a better day.

Thankyou innafull

I went shopping today and i was looking at some lovely baby clothes on sale and there was loads of couples together looking at clothes it made me feel a bit jealous knowing there child will be coming into the world with a very loving father

I know i will always put my children first as for him i know he wont!

Hi MOAP. How awful for you to see the photos of them like that. No wonder its made you feel worse. I think you are coping really well under impossible circumstances and he is being cruel and heartless rubbing your nose in it like this.
As of last night I am now single again, if I can cope as well as you have over the last few weeks I'll be doing well. You've been an inspiration, you really have.
Heres to a better 2008!!

i have seen what your now xdp did to you (i have replied on the other thread ) men really piss me off right now!

I think i`m doing ok, then something like that happens to me.

I know hes staying with her this weekend at her house as her family are away and i cant stop thinking about it (he made sure i knew when i asked him his days off he said the weekend but i cant have DD sat night as im staying at hers with a smile on his face ) i know im only hurting myself more but i really cant help it

God he is pure evil isn't he?

Try not to dwell on it, is there somewhere you could go to take your mind of it all.

I'm taking dss to the cinema this afternoon. Hopefully 1½ hours of Alvin and the Chipmunks will distract me! (or I'll fall asleep more likely!)

Shame we don't live closer or we could meet up and distract each other lol..

i think that would be lovely for you ds, it will really take your mind off it.

I think i`m going to have a friend round later, and tomorrow night i think my sister is coming to stay the night.

He is really evil to me, he makes sure i know what he`s up to.

I dont know wether he knows hes really hurting me, or if he likes to hurt me and rub it in, i`m just not sure

When i don`t see him i feel better, but when i see him i feel like shit again as everything he has said to me goes round and round my head.

I think he gets a kick out of all this, hes having the best of both worlds, he knows im in most nights looking after our DD so he knows i can`t get out and enjoy myself all the time like he does

He truely loves this new found freedom, he also doesn`t have to share his money with his family now and i know he loves that aswell!

lulabelle thank you it does really mean alot, sometimes i do feel like a really bad mom when DD catches me crying

She always gives me a love and tells me she loves me, and this does really make everything better. DD even kisses me better when i`m sad

DD really does make everything i do worth while, just to see that smile on her face when she see`s me every morning

The more I hear about this excuse for a man the more I dislike him. Well I disliked him to start with but now I'd like to give him a a good shoeing! His nastiness just beggars belief.

Your DD is lucky to have such a lovely mum MOAP. You sound great. Really, looking back I wasn't anywhere near as together as you were when I was 21. You should be proud of yourself for coping so well.

And one thing you are NOT is a bad mum. No way!

janos i really can`t believe i never saw this side to him before, 7 years together and never once had he treated me like shit.

He was a very loving partner, my best friend, the best dad in the world, everything i had ever dreamed of and more.

When i found out i didn`t know wether to laugh or cry i was so shell shocked.

We had plans for xmas, baby, marrige, moving, everything, i really didn`t have a clue what he was doing behind my back! He really did hide it well other then beening very snappy (which i thought was due to work as he does rota shifts and long hours)

I have never seen him so happy with himself, he never once wanted to try and he certainly didnt say he was sorry, he just walked out and that was that. Hes like a totally different person.

I don`t have a clue if she has changed him, or wether he had this in him all along and hid it well...

I'm not surprised you were so shocked MOAP, it's a shocking and awful thing to happen.

I find it hard to fathom what kind of person could just walk out on his family. How can he live with himself?

You may never know what his motivations are, all you can do is take care of yourself, your DD and your new baby.

MOAP I am so sorry he is rubbing it in.
I do think in time you will find you are much better without him, she will tire of him soon enough and he will turn up begging forgiveness I bet.
When he does I hope you have the strength to tell him to P* off.

You might like to point out to him the when you and he met, this little trollop was a 10 year old child, make him feel a perv.

im just to sick of it all right now, ive just remembered he hasnt gave me the maintanance this week, every friday he should give it me yet he hasnt called or anything about it I bet he will leave it till sunday now!

I feel like saying to him stick it, its only pennys at the end of the day to what he earns every week!

I just feel like such a fool, i should have guessed about him and her.

She`s welcome to the w@nker, i hope in time she breaks his heart like he did to me and only then will he realise how much he hurt me!

What a prize that girl has got for herself - a man who is happy to walk out on his long term partner and child and also pisses about paying maintenance late - when he doesn't even to pay rent!!!

Fing, fing arsehole.

Really feel for you MOAP. So glad you have good friends and family about to support you.

Thats right janos he doesn`t have to pay anything bar £20 for food to his parents which he only pays when he feels like it as they let him get away with it!

It hurts like hell that he`s left me like this, he says to me oh its ok for you to sit on your arse all day while i have to work (oh so i do nothing then do i???)

I dont think he sees that hes done anything wrong at all, he has a very nice lifestyle now doesnt he, and he also knows he can see DD when its good for him, his excuse is that he`s working long hours and i have no proof of wether he is or not

If he doesn`t want to see DD then i wish he would just say, it would make my life easier.

He has mentioned he wants DD to meet OW but im not going to let him yet, a) its to soon and b) Dd will only be used as a show off thing for a few hours! Where are they going to go with DD, he cant take OW and DD back to his moms as OW isnt welcome, also DD cant go to hers as her parents/family don`t know about xp

Im sure hes living in a fantasy world

It's a shame his parents don't have more backbone, that might bring things home to him a little more.

It is certainly not appropriate for OW to be meeting your DD.

I'm sure it's been mentioned before bit I think (just a suggestion) it may be better for you if he has set times when he sees your DD. He ceratinly shouldn't be able to drop in and see her when he feels like it.

Maybe you could (with some back up - like your parents) say to him 'you can see DD at these times'. If he complains about then I'm afraid that's tough.

And as for:
"he says to me oh its ok for you to sit on your arse all day while i have to work"...

if it's so damn easy, why doesn't he do it? [ angry]

Sorry...that was meant to be an face...my DS asked me to do one.

See, he's 3 years old and even he knows your XP is an immature tosser.

you made me smile there janos, my DD looks at the pc from time to time and says happy face sad face etc

I have set times with him, he never keeps to them turns up 10 mins late 20 mins late etc

I wish i could just tell him to f off but he makes sure dd knows he`s here, opens letter flap etc

He said he couldnt have DD over night tomorrow as i said but said oh i can have her sunday over night, Well this isnt a good day for me as i had planned to take DD to grandmas and grandads for the night to spend some more time with them, he isnt going to be happy with this at all, he hasnt called since xmas day so i haven`t been able to talk to him about this, i refuse to call him now as he talks to me like shit on the phone.

I will have to get that money off him though, so god knows whats going to happen, he might refuse to give it to me, and i don`t really want the added stress.

I can do without the pennys he gives me but why should our DD?

Well im sorry for ranting he gets to me sometimes and hes not even here!

Our DCs are the same age, I think.

I reckon you're entitled to a bloody good rant MOAP!

If you and DD are busy Sunday night then that's his tough luck really.

Perhaps you could phone his parents and ask for the maintenance? That might shame him into it (would it work).

Actually, you know what? I would save this thread (and your other one). You may need a record of his behaviour one day.

I really hate your ex-p Moap. I hope my son ends up with a lovely, sweet girl like you rather than some stupid ho like OW. I wouldn't let her skanky ass in my house either.

I was just thinking about how funny it would be if we could all send him reality check emails letting him know what a tosser he is. Let him get hundreds of hate mail letters from the mumsnet army informing him that he is officially a fucktard and explaining why. That would really screw is weekend up and make it interesting, Especially if ho saw all of his hate mail.

But there are a couple of problems with that idea.

A. He probably has the reading level of a four year old. We would have to stick to three letter words to make sure that he understood us. It would probably take a reception teacher to be able to communicate with him at his reading comprehension level.

B. It's probably not legal by any means.

Too bad.

I really think you need to see a soliciter. Nail his ass to a wall. They will help you. He cannot treat you and his children like this. Get mad.

"I hope my son ends up with a lovely, sweet girl like you rather than some stupid ho like OW. I wouldn't let her skanky ass in my house either."

Damn straight AnneMayesR!

When you go to a solicitor MOAP print out a copy of your threads and take it with you.

He really is a complete piece of shit to treat you and his DD like this.